Unsettled with DH’s disclosure of income

[ParisianLady]

I will firstly acknowledge that this is a good problem to have but it has been on my mind. I know I might get flamed but I can’t talk to anyone in real life about this.

Essentially I asked my DH the other day what he earned/made last year, and the answer was much higher than I expected. He doesn’t even know the exact number and went off to find out.

We have a really very nice life, 3 kids at private school, lovely house, lovely holidays where we fly premium or business, parties for friends and no money worries. I grew up in a more modest environment so this is wonderful and I know how lucky we are.

I work full time in a really stressful job for my own enjoyment but it is well paid and I enjoy having my ‘own’ money and sense of achievement. I do the usual frugal and sensible things like buy second hand school uniform, buy big packets of meat and split them, put the dishwasher on at night on the cheaper rate, shop of bargains. But I will fairly spend freely on things we need or just want.

My DH recently asked if I could pay for some building work, and when we needed a new car I bought it myself (and was proud and happy to do that). He’s generous but it felt fair for me to pay for these things myself.

Somehow if feels a dishonest by omission of him not to have said what his business was making. I knew it was successful but am just shocked. Not that it materially changes our nice life but why did I pay for the building work for example?

He isn’t hiding anything, he just didn’t think it was worth mentioning and I didn’t ask. But it just doesn’t sit right. Does anyone have any advice apart from ‘talk to him about it’. It’s made me re-evaluate lots of our recent decisions

That doesn't make sense.

To pay dividends you need a shareholder resolution agreed at a shareholder meeting, and signed off by the board. So, at the very least the op would be aware of what dividends she was getting.

But why pay dividends (which given the op is a very high rated tax payer) which will be taxed again the highest rate possible, and can only be paid after corporation tax (minimum 19%), so meaning a reduction of around 64% at a minimum, when you can make a pension payment as a cost to the company with zero corporation tax and zero dividends tax and zero income tax, and zero NI for both sides?

I don't pay myself any salary from my company. I'm a basic rate tax payer. I put all my income into the pension other than maybe £10k pa in dividends.

If they don’t, I make them change it - hence ‘every’. It’s useful and costs are minimal. Def worth knowing about if you add someone at a later date.
My DH and kids all have different share classes in my Co. Only I have voting rights.

It’s part of an active conversation for me in the work I do, but I doubt it would get mentioned in the normal day to day.

You are really bloody wealthy OP.
I’m guessing he maybe didn’t bother to mention it because it literally doesn’t matter. You’re both absolutely loaded!