Would you leave children overnight at grandma's with lodgers there?

[Luckydog7]

Feeling on the fence. DH and I have been invited to a wedding 2 hours away.

Mum kindly offered to babysit overnight at her house and we accepted without thinking. First time they would be staying over, kids are 8 and 6. 8 year old has special needs but well behaved and no trouble.

DH has expressed concern today and having second thoughts.

While mum and stepdad are perfectly nice. Mum keeps lodgers and both are currently middle aged men we don't know. This is the issue really that there are strangers in the house.

The kids bedroom is on the middle floor of the house with a bathroom shared with the lodgers and mum would be in the master upstairs.

How would you feel about this? There's not really another option for sleeping logistically.

DH is now talking about me going to the wedding alone so he can stay for the kids.

Mums quite sensitive and her likely reaction is to be really offended/downplay any risks. I'm thinking of raising it anyway when we meet next week with the hope that she is understanding of our concern. It's possible for her to come to ours but it's an early wedding so it would be asking even more of her and I know she was pleased to have them over for the first time.

Absolutely not. Can’t believe you have to ask.

Yes they would be.

Id ask mum to stay at yours with the kids. I wouldnt have 8 and 6 sharing a bathroom with strange middle aged men

Not even if she sleeps in the same bedroom with them. My child is not spending the night in a house with someone I don’t know.

No way.

Nope, absolutely not. You are doing the right thing.

I see you already have plenty of people backing you up but there’s a 0% chance I’d let this happen with any sort of strangers in the house - men, women or even unfamiliar dogs are a huge no from me.

If there really is no option and you want to find a middle ground, couldn’t your kids stay in her room with her? Or she stays downstairs and they are in her room? Both would make me slightly uncomfortable but wouldn’t necessarily be a flat no. Random people sleeping next door to my kids and sharing a bathroom is a hard pass.

Not a chance

No way

Absolutely not a chance in hell. Why would you even consider this?
So what if it upsets your mum?! It's a strange man with your child, whilst they sleep!

no. this is not something you want to take chances with

No.

Absolutely not for me.
I would be asking for her to come to yours and have them if it was me.

Absolutely not. Make arrangements for her to come to your house or one or both of you decline the wedding invite.

@likewhatyoudohas given really good advice on how to frame it

No

not even if they stayed in your mums room

Not. A. Chance.

No.

is upsetting your sensitive mum worth risking your children’s safety whereby the damage would last a lifetime? No.

Ask her to stay at yours.

Would the lodgers even be okay with kids around? It puts them in a very vulnerable position.

So say they get up in the night and go to the toilet as middle-aged men have a want to do and one of your children is using the bathroom without locking the door. It could all be absolutely innocent, but it might not sound it when your child describes a strange man walking into the bathroom while they were in there.

Yeah, the only sensible thing is for Mum to stop at yours. I’m surprised she didn’t suggest that anyway. It’s usually much easier to look after children in their own space than to decamp them to an otherwise adult space.

Absolutely not - can she come to you?

Absolutely not.

Not a chance in hell its absolutely not worth the risk at all. She's on a different floor and they would share a bathroom with 2 strange men nope nope nope .