Hen weekend …guests can’t wear white except bride ….bit silly ?

[luluxxx]

We are going to Spain next month for 4 nights for a hen do.
We have been sent a message in the WhatsApp group that no white allowed except bride.
At first I thought she meant no white outfits for the night outfits (which is totally fine ) but she’s said no white at all.
No white vests /trainers /bikinis/cover ups /linen trousers etc etc
Now most of my vests I wear under jackets are white and my trainers are white.
Shes specified no white at all
So I’m gonna have to rethink loads of outfits as a lot of skirts for day time match with a white vest.
My linen trousers for pool days are also white etc
Do you think this is a bit ott?
I mean trainers …I only own white trainers 🙈

This is actually insane. And that women are willing (even if not happy) to go along with it.
Glad to be old and grumpy and not to know anyone who would even think of behaving like this.

'Tiktok is for idiots', why do you say this?

I have got most of my gardening tips from there this year! And last year I moved house and found a lot of decor inspiration on it too. It's also good if you're into local history/crime, well just about anything really, the algorithm is very good IMO.

Sorry, thread derail.

I would not be buying anything new (other than if I genuinely would do anyway) for this trip OP. And I am not a pearl-clutcher at all, I have friends from all walks of life too, but I could absolutely not be friends with someone like this! You must have other examples!?

That's embarrassing. If this is the hen do I wonder if she'll turn into a bit of a bridezilla for the wedding.

This is absolutely unhinged!

Yeah fair enough no all white outfit on the main 'night' or whatever seems pretty standard (although honestly I still wouldn't care about this) but no white at all for the whole weekend is ridiculous. I'd just ignore quite honestly.

Don’t give her the headspace of a message. Just turn up with the clothes you want to wear.

I.saw balloons and photos at a table in Glasgow Airport for a stag do.and what i assumed was the groom.dressed up.in an air hostess uniform!

They’re much harder to organise when you start dictating what everyone’s wearing.

As someone who organised her own hen do, it wasn’t hard at all. I set a date and location, sent to everyone who was invited and asked them to RSVP. And then I booked it. There were a couple of activities, I again asked for RSVPs and booked on that basis.

The hardest bit was arranging who was sharing rooms as there were lots of people who didn’t know each other.

I bet she had bought her own bride sash and veil already !

I agree it can be as complicated as you want to make it, but as someone who also organised her own hen lets not pretend it isn't far far simpler for the hen (who knows everyone) to organise a large event like this than it is for eg a bridesmaid who doesn't already have a relationship with all the guests.

I’d do my best not to wear white even though I think it is pathetic. But no white trainers, or casual clothes/swimwear?! That’s ridiculous

I wouldn't usually advocate buying anything from Temu but that would make me very passively aggressive. I think your theme of the weekend could be neon.
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Reply in the group
I get no white dress but I’m going to struggle with the completely no white as in vest,bags,trainers that’s all I’ve got

you will definitely gain solidarity

wouldn’t worry too much about fallout as I’d be distancing myself from her anyway so no loss

Year’s ago you didn’t get any of this crap. Hen do’s were a group of friends going to a club or a bar, zero dress codes. Everything, including friendships, is so performative now.

Agreed entirely - that’s why I did it.

But let’s equally not pretend that the organiser here has not actively made their own life harder by creating unnecessary features that wouldn’t be missed if they weren’t there.

I’ve never heard anyone say “my hen was great, but I really wish I’d had baby pictures at the airport” or “the hen was ruined because my bridesmaid wore white trainers”

That is total madness I get not wearing a white dress, especially if you’re all out in the evening

not to be able to wear white trainers or linen trousers or a white desktop in a hot country is insane

Oh yes for sure I agree this hen do is absolutely bonkers and no need for any of that stuff. I just meant that saying "it wasn't hard at all" doesn't necessarily account for the fact its far easier if you're organising your own.

I agree with you though thats why I did it- I dont understand putting all that stress and extra logistics on someone else! Also I noticed there was no nagging for payment, people pull their finger out when being asked directly by the bride haha

Oh dear, that is spectacularly cringy. 🫣

It's not the OP who's being ridiculous here, it is the bride to be.

You just have to go with it... inhale, exhale, bit your lip... roll with it.
You can't change these people or their mental ideas.

You can rethink your choice of friends on return though. I don't mix with people who enforce mental rules on my life (except work trips / dos... when I roll with it and then reflect).

I once spent a hen do in the loos doing a cross word.... was nice.

The dress on the main night out, yes I get and it is a thing. BUT every other outfit no way!

I too have lots of white vest tops etc and the trainers is ridiculous.

Is this coming from the MOH or the bride? I'd be talking to the bride

I think you should get in touch with the other ladies going and all of you wear white trainers! What can she do, bloody hell what an absolute twat.
She will look back on this when she emerges from bridezilla mode and be mortified!

Just think how it looks on SM, she doesn’t want a Hen Weekend, she wants contents

Ignore

I'd just ignore that tbh. No white dresses/full outfits is fair enough but this is just silly

Who is the 'she' giving all these orders? If you're the bridesmaid aren't you involved in the planning? Does the bride know about this?