Anyone else find the reality of holidays more tiring than enjoyable?

[ShoopShoopBaDoop]

I have tried and tried to enjoy holidays but the simple truth is I just really don't.

Don't get me wrong, there's lots of places around the world that do appeal to me and I like the concept of travelling and holidaying but the reality for me is I find them all a disappointing experience and very tiring. The beds are never comfy so I don't sleep well, I always have a splitting headache on the day of travelling (which will sometimes last a few days), I find it tiresome packing/unpacking and then the mounds of washing back home, sight seeing bores me after a very short while especially when it's crowded and full of people all wanting to go to the same place and 'relaxing' by sitting on a beach or round a pool makes my teeth itch. Navigating your way around a new area for many is part of the fun of finding your feet but I just find it a major stress-fest and very frustrating (cue more headaches). No matter how much I try I just don't find this the relaxing experience that all my friends do.

I will add that I have adhd and a few chronic health issues which include digestive troubles so travelling to different countries with an unpredictable gut is no fun but I still find the whole experience of holidaying just exhausting and quite overwhelming and it never, ever meets the same expectations in reality as the ones I had in my head.

The older I get the more I simple dream of a little cottage in the country with a lovely garden which I can potter about in all the time. Oh God, I am getting so boring but that really does appeal more than travelling.

Does anyone else find their idea of a great holiday is never the same in reality and that has put you off travelling now? Or did you feel this way and have somehow found a way to enjoy holidays (no suggestions for cruising as I have a massive fear of deep water).

There are lots of kinds of holidays. It sounds like you need to choose different activities that you enjoy more. I am not into sightseeing but I want to go stay at Knepp to see the rewilding, for example. Northern lights in an ice hotel? Cycling holiday? Etc.

I do agree about the uncomfortable beds. I read something a couple of years back that said you should not book accommodation for a holiday that is less luxe than your own home. Sounds good but we have a nice home, and holidays are so incredibly expensive now that I can’t afford the same level at all, more like a tent. So there’s that.

I can’t stand people like that! You do you. You aren’t missing out on something if you don’t get pleasure from it

What also bothers me about the idea of holidays is that you go off somewhere which is lovely, relaxing, fun, nice weather, whatever.

Then you have to come back to reality - how is it not 10 times more depressing getting back?

Yes I haven’t been abroad for years as my anxiety about flights ruins any joy . Would be much happier living walking distance to the sea and never going on holiday than travelling 5 hours plus to get to the sea. I enjoy travel programmes on tv though !

What about choosing a beautiful area of the country, finding a cosy cottage with garden, taking lovely food and books/games/films and just enjoying the change of scenery. Or whatever it is you like doing. You don't have to do sightseeing if you don't like it!
If you get somewhere with a washing machine just bung it all in while you're there! Doesn't take much effort!
You could also not go on holiday, but it sounds like you're choosing holidays that don't suit you.

Isn’t it the same thing though? The arseache of packing, crappy beds, navigating areas etc but with the added bonus of doing the washing so you don’t have it all to come home to?

Even if you have a great time, you still come back to the same old daily crap.

Since having kids I've def found holidays more stressful and have realised there is a place for A.I holidays. Having a child thats a fussy eater makes going out for food stressful, so A.I works well. That plus stuff to entertain them. Means the parents get to relax more.

Our eldest will be 18 next year, so im hoping me and DH can start to go on the holidays ourselves soon. Sight seeing, having nice meals out and just relaxing, going with the flow. No worrying about the kids being bored(mine just arent into sight seeing unfortunately), hungry or if they feel unwell etc. We've had 18 years of that and the best ones were the A.I abroad or simply a Haven Caravan.

I don't think it's because I haven't yet found the perfect holiday/destination/ etc for me. I've been on many different types of holiday over the years but I find them all stressful on some level or other. I do love the idea of visiting other countries, cultures and sights etc but the payoff for me is that more often than not the whole thing from start to finish is simply too overwhelming for me to fully enjoy and not a comfortable experience, I don't feel the excited anticipation that others do pre-holiday. I like things a certain way, I have been like this since a child (I would insist on bring my own knives, forks and plates from home as I wouldn't eat from hotel ones!) - Yes, I admit that I have some unusual habits.

I do see that it is quite difficult for many people to understand which is why my OP and title was actually asking if anyone else felt the same, there are a few who understand what I am trying to articulate, they get it but I can appreciate that for the majority it seems strange because holidays are up there as one of lives greatest pleasures and that's the issue I have, so many people in my life push me to go on holiday because it's something they absolutely love and they just can't understand why I don't find it a particularly enjoyable addition to my life but I don't, never have.

Yes, that's been a big part of it for me recently. I help care for my mum who has advanced Alzheimer's disease, it's shit. BF is always telling me to take time out and get away from it all but it will all be there when I come back.

I have an AuDHD child which means she has to know exactly what we are doing and when. That makes the planning more stressful but we found that the only solution is not to overcramp the time off.

We sometimes do hotels but not AI resorts anymore - too stressful. We often rent an appartment somewhere with space to go and just sit, near a lake, river, park. We then don't overdo it, we often have at least 1 full day with nothing and others just 1/2 day sightseeing so DD can decompress again. I think we do in 1 week what others cover in 3 days.

For me airports aren't stressful but we are flying often to see family or for work so I am at one around 6-8 times a year and it's the same as going by train in the UK.

I also don't care what people say I should see, I am not interested in Japan or India for example.

I love a good travel programme. When I was a child 'Wish you Were Here' was one of my favourite things to watch.

But that’s easily solved by telling her to zip it, surely, rather than making yourself miserable going on endless holidays you don’t enjoy?

My dream is for there to be a machine that instantly transports you to other places in 30 seconds. I love seeing different places and trying different foods etc but I hate the travelling aspect of doing that and the staying in unfamiliar accommodation.
We’ve done everything from a private villa in luxury AI to camping and none of it has been perfect.
Too luxurious makes me uncomfortable, I don’t like people touching my stuff or fawning over me, we had a butler once and it was so cringy.
Other people in hotels are insanely annoying.
Self catering is probably my favourite but there’s usually something that lets it down.
It doesn’t help that DH has completely different ideas of what he likes on holiday. He likes having a lie in and walking about all day. I like to get up early, go swimming, to the beach, go to shops or if in a city actually going inside attractions rather than marching past them.

I think it might be worth finding somewhere you all like and then sticking to that place. Once it becomes more familiar, you’ll enjoy yourselves more knowing you can just dump your bags and get straight off to your favourite places.

Every now and again, I take myself off to a place a short flight away. I know the bus route from the airport, stay at the same hotel and sometimes even book the same room with a view of the sea. I know how it all works and how to get to the interesting places. It does make travelling a more relaxing experience but my dh would never do this so the rest of our travels are to different and more adventurous places.

I’d stick to the Uk too if you don’t enjoy travelling abroad, which can be stressful with kids. You can bring your own pillows and essentials, familiar food and shops all over the Uk. Enough history, places of interest to travel out too. There are some lovely holiday homes near beautiful beaches in the Uk and most have a washing machine. Lots have pools and other facilities for kids. You’ll have a great time.

It sounds like a lot of pressure from people. If you don’t like doing something then you aren’t missing out if you decide not to do it (iyswim!).

I am AuDHD so when it comes to doing anything for me I think the key question is ‘do the gains from this experience outweigh the stress involved’. That’s kind of my thinking about everything in life.

It is like a profit and loss account in my head only not necessarily with figures!

Being honest when our son was under 13 he would have been perfectly happy with Butlins every time plus the odd week somewhere sunny with a pool , we were lucky though that he was a very adventurous eater and thought food at the AIs we could afford was a bit crap - he liked different places every evening . He also really enjoyed Eurocamp and onsite creperies, pizza stations etc with fantastic pools and the bonus is you then can just take it back to the terrace outside the mobile home so no sitting around listening to others screaming and bored toddlers - I do think with kids the secret is to lower your standards somewhat unless you are totally loaded

Why not holiday in a lovely cottage in the countryside for a week, sleepy little village somewhere with a tea shop? Take a book/ binge watch a series. Idyllic.

I've realised recently that the reason I don't go on holiday is because I hate travelling. There I've admitted it to myself.

The idea of going to a nice or lovely place is completely shelved by the getting there bit.

The roads to airport, the airport itself swarming with people, the plane journey then faffing around to get to the destination at the other end.

I'm absolutely sure the jet fuel situation won't be a problem for me if it gets really bad.

I also get annoyingly homesick on holiday even if I am having a good time. There is something about my disposition that just wants to be at home. I get overwhelming sad at nighttime on holiday.

Surely the issue is the same though? Organising, packing, travelling, then spend a week or whatever somewhere that is either so amazing that it’s depressing to get home or so crap that it’s a waste of time

Especially as you can do all that at home without the hassle and cost

I get you OP.

I vividly recall the end of one holiday with my young toddlers, where I went and sat in the airplane loo crying because I was so, so fucking exhausted, and I realised for the cost of that horrendous fortnight I could've had a beautiful new much needed bathroom.

I refused to go on holiday again for about 3 years.

I am similar OP - I like the thought of a holiday, planning, booking etc. But the closer it gets the more stressed I get and more I start to dread it! I get so stressed and worked up about everything - the house, packing, travel, money.

Once I’m there, after a few days I do start to chill out but then I get worked up about the coming back again and just wanting to be at home.

I find I’m better with shorter holidays though, I can enjoy myself more if I’m just away for a few days and have a plan (even a loose plan!) for those days.

Id rather stay at home and do wee day trips here and there, I’m lucky to be in a part of the UK where there’s lots to explore.

We have spent our time and energy on making our home as holiday ish as possible. We are all likely audhd so holidays are stressful and not really worth the money although we only do cheap ones. We have to schedule in down days to keep everyone regulated.
We don't have the funds to go on luxury holidays so the accommodation Is very basic,beds particularly are never great.

As a teen I was very lucky to get to go on holidays with a aunt who loved luxury holidays. It was incredibly depressing coming home and now I know I'd never be able to afford them either. However they wouldn't suit my family and even then wouldn't of been my number one choice. I'd prefer an adventure holiday horse trekking. But my ultimate ideal is always to try and make home as wonderful as possible that's where I am 24/7 not the one week a year.

I have relatives who regularly spend 10k/15k to go to dubai. Obviously each to their own but with that money I'd be able to really make my house amazing. We are lucky to have a garden and above ground pool so wouldn't take much to make it feel very luxe. With my own throne and bed I'd be living the dream 😂

I feel the same way, the stress and discomfort of getting to and from the airports both ends and the fact so much has gone wrong the past 3 or 4 times I’ve gone somewhere, ie, hotel being across a busy road from the restaurant and beach or the apartment not existing, thanks booking.com has put me off for life!

I traveled a lot backpacking in my late 20s after running away from abusive relationships which was absolutely fantastic however as I’m lucky enough to have had those experiences I am bored with beaches and swimming pools.

Since managing to kick the booze after having a drink problem which was an exacerbated after lockdown I find sitting around a hotel boring. I’m a single mother and have complex health issues so carrying and dragging the cases and bags just exhausts me. I like the idea of city breaks where I could travel light or UK based holidays but the expense of trains in this country makes it nigh on impossible.