Anyone else find the reality of holidays more tiring than enjoyable?

[ShoopShoopBaDoop]

I have tried and tried to enjoy holidays but the simple truth is I just really don't.

Don't get me wrong, there's lots of places around the world that do appeal to me and I like the concept of travelling and holidaying but the reality for me is I find them all a disappointing experience and very tiring. The beds are never comfy so I don't sleep well, I always have a splitting headache on the day of travelling (which will sometimes last a few days), I find it tiresome packing/unpacking and then the mounds of washing back home, sight seeing bores me after a very short while especially when it's crowded and full of people all wanting to go to the same place and 'relaxing' by sitting on a beach or round a pool makes my teeth itch. Navigating your way around a new area for many is part of the fun of finding your feet but I just find it a major stress-fest and very frustrating (cue more headaches). No matter how much I try I just don't find this the relaxing experience that all my friends do.

I will add that I have adhd and a few chronic health issues which include digestive troubles so travelling to different countries with an unpredictable gut is no fun but I still find the whole experience of holidaying just exhausting and quite overwhelming and it never, ever meets the same expectations in reality as the ones I had in my head.

The older I get the more I simple dream of a little cottage in the country with a lovely garden which I can potter about in all the time. Oh God, I am getting so boring but that really does appeal more than travelling.

Does anyone else find their idea of a great holiday is never the same in reality and that has put you off travelling now? Or did you feel this way and have somehow found a way to enjoy holidays (no suggestions for cruising as I have a massive fear of deep water).

There is nothing wrong with not liking to travel. You are framing it as a negative or an issue, when it really isn’t.
Its good for the environment, it’s good for your bank account and it’s good for your well-being (as you relax at home) -why would you change it?

I understand that it’s not a popular attitude in today’s times though, so from that perspective I can see how you might be wondering if there’s something wrong with your preference to stay home. Nowadays everyone wants to travel , I see people who can barely afford to pay rent and rely on state handouts taking holidays twice a year. Everyone is trying to keep up with others and traveling has become the new „it” everyone strives towards.

Holidays need not mean sightseeing or traipsing around or lying on beaches. It can mean finding a lovely place in country/ city/coast and bedding in in a cottage/flat/hotel and really enjoying where you are and getting to know it in depth, or simply sitting and reading and enjoying the break.

Me and my DD both have ADHD. Before meds as I was exactly the same as you and went on some trip of a lifetime holidays I didn’t enjoy due to the sheer anxiety I felt. I honestly feel different now and enjoyed holidays for the first time the past year. Maybe something to think about if you aren’t already taking meds?

I’m the complete opposite! I love planning and booking the holiday and I’ve always thoroughly enjoyed every holiday I’ve ever had. In fact the thought of coming home depresses me - probably because I have a very stressful corporate job and one or two weeks down time is extremely precious to me.

I have always found holidays tiring and stressful. I have episodes of fun when I’m there but by and large I’d rather be at home.

No. I love travelling and have never had a holiday I didn't enjoy. The effort-to-enjoyment ratio does shift as you get older, but nothing in life is perfect is it?

We had some great UK holidays inland (nice short journeys) on booking.com

Only went for a week at a time and made sure there was a washing machine and dishwasher

I know lots of people are going to hold their hands up in horror but try a cruise. Lovely food and drink with no effort, they cater well to allergies. Their beds are wonderful! You can go sightseeing or stay onboard as your whim takes you. Sitting watching the waves is so peaceful. You can either just step off the ship, have a little wander and then go back on for the rest of the day or go for meals and trips. If you want to not have the responsibility of organising you can go on a booked excursion and it’s all done for you. There’s a pool and usually sauna onboard if that’s what you like. It’s the most peaceful way of travelling. Try a Norwegian fjords one for a week, or a week around Europe. Then if you enjoy it you could do a fly cruise somewhere hot, or a 2 week one to take you to the sun. It’s very flexible and removes the stress.

Otherwise a week on the Northumberland coast or Dorset out of season is wonderful!

I've felt like this my entire life but tolerated it for the sake of excited children on holiday. Now they've all left I really enjoy my home and especially my own bed. I can take or leave holidays !! But completely 'get' you especially the cottage

It’s not so much that I want to keep up with the things others are doing as I’ve never been that kind of person but it’s more my friends telling me how much I’m missing out. My bf in particular has around 5/6 holidays per year and is forever badgering me to go away even though she knows I don’t find it an enjoyable experience, she just doesn’t understand why I wouldn’t. It grates on my nerves.

But as I say in my op, it’s not simply the destination or venue it’s everything involved with a holiday. The preparation, the anticipation, the travel (car, train, air, sea), the lack of my own bed and it’s personal comforts…..it’s everything and the whole experience just unsettles me for some reason.

I have trialled several ADHD meds but they all made me very unwell. I’m under a specialist atm and they are looking into alternatives so maybe once I find the right med for me things may look different?

Returned from holiday today and just the airport puts you off. The great unwashed herded in and they complain about everything and get in my way. Oh apparently everyone is an expert on airport security and could just do it and get 1000s of people through so easily. Oddly it was a cruise. Still the same people as in the airport. I like a holiday but perhaps the less contact with the ugly public is the way to go

As I’ve said in my op, I have a massive fear of deep water and a cruise would be the last thing on my wish list for a holiday. I know many people love them but they absolutely wouldn’t be for me, I feel ill on the chain ferry from Sandbanks to Studland lol.

We do spend a lot of time in Dorset but I’d rather live there than holiday there.

I fear we are in quite the minority lol.

Urgh, yes I’d hate this.

Tbh, I’d probably love holidays if I were a millionaire travelling in my own jet and staying at exclusive 5*+ venues.

Maybe, in another lifetime.

I have a lot of sympathy with this. A lot of hassle if you don't enjoy the reward!

Holidays are seen as a bit if a necessity now, but it's OK not to be interested.

I have had some good ones (Venice with my DDs for my 50th) and some really bad ones (a heart attack in Wales). I too have sensitive guts .... my AC joke that I get the squits just going to Wales ... its half a mile away!

I know a couple who did this, both took week off work, kept their child in nursery, oldest at after school club and had lunch out every day for a week driving or getting train to different places within an hour , read books, had half day at a local spa etc - said it was a really relaxing week

But then I'd just be somewhere with rich entitled people like poss Epstein or a Trump or some Russian thief oligarch.

Your first OP basically describes me.

I had time off over Easter, stayed at home, gardened, read my book, walked the dog, slept in.

It was bliss.

I find packing beyond stressful. My DH thinks I’m bonkers.

When I was younger I traveled the world by myself. I can’t think of anything worse now.

Though is I won multiple millions I would travel at the very highest level of luxury!

I would definitely find that very relaxing as my every day life is anything but.

That sounds lovely, just my level of relaxation.

Yes, I could definitely see myself enjoying travelling if I were super rich.

I have never flown, I went to France for 3 days in the early 90s but haven’t actually been on holiday since the early 80s.

I couldn’t think of many things worse than having to pack, travel, spend a few days in some random country, then pack, travel and return.’