Things you're doing in your life right now that would sound bonkers if you told anyone, but make sense to you....

[HundredsOfTinyWillies]

I'm currently stalking a man in my neighbourhood because I love his dog. I've bumped into this man and his dog twice. I've started going out at the same-ish time and walking the same-ish route in the hopes of meeting him his dog

I have a whole imaginary world in my head where I'm a former supermodel now living a quiet life in the countryside. When I'm pottering around doing household chores, I pretend Louis Theroux is following me asking me probing questions about my tough childhood and stratospherically successful career.

I plan retirement every single day. I model different scenarios with different levels of income. I look at properties in retirement communities a lot. I'm 40.

I would never say these things out loud to another human because they make me sound absolutely bonkers. But there it is.
Tell me your weirdness that you could never verbalise...

That’s terrible. Were there witnesses?

Did she even check up on you?

OM double G !! I also look for suitable places to live/sleep if I was homeless. I'll spot a nice secluded hidyhole next to a motorway bridge and wonder if it would be warm & dry or i think if i took up residence in the middle of a big roundabout near me which has large bushes and trees how long I could live there undisturbed if I only came out at night. It also full of rabbits so I think it would be quite nice.
I honestly thought I was the only headcase who had these thoughts.

This has absolutely ended me. I think it was the shin pads that tipped me over the edge.

What an amazing thread.

Now I’ve started spilling my secrets I can’t stop…
I also fantasise at night that I’ll look out the window and the surrounding area is just like it was before these houses were built and it’s 100 years ago (like in Toms Midnight Garden)
Another favourite is that I’m a cat or a fox roaming at night in all the neighbours gardens unseen.
ok I need to stop talking now! 🤣

I'll take a pet Protoceratops, thanks. That was always my favourite dinosaur.

We must all sound we're smoking some seriously strong shit on this thread. 🌬️

I've been volunteering for one organisation for a long time, which I'm passionate about but at times have toyed with leaving, partly because I give up a day's income a week to go there. I know I've crossed that line into staying for the same reasons you describe and one of my fellow but older volunteers has described the place as her lifeline after the death of her partner and her own increasing health problems. It's an eclectic group of people of all ages but we've stuck together like glue, especially during Covid even though we'd been stood down, and we still keep those who've come and gone over the years close. Highly recommend!

In response to the original post I've been thinking about changing my name by deed poll and spend a lot of commute time trying other names in my head and booked a restaurant the other day using one of them to see what it felt like.

🤣

Oh don't stop. Get it all out, you're amongst friends!

I've got more. Sometimes to get to sleep I imagine I'm renovating all the derelict buildings I know of into lovely, properly restored homes or public buildings. I'm currently working on a very old ladies toilet that's in the local park, making it into a "tiny house".

I might do that tonight actually.

Bit grim, but when I lie in bed at night I fantasise about an asteroid hitting the Earth while I am asleep and wiping out all life - pfff, everything gone. It makes me weirdly happy. No more suffering. And I wouldn’t even know it had happened. I’d just never wake up, and nor would anyone else. I’d never have to watch my mother die, or watch my dog die, or grow old, or get cancer, or endure any of the other horrors life has in store for me.

booked a restaurant the other day using one of them to see what it felt like.

I really need to do this!

I create detailed, nutritionally-balanced weekly meal plans for Charlie Bucket and his family, trying to come in at under 35 quid a week, and imagine taking the food round to them so they don't have to starve on cabbage soup any more (and yes, I realise they are now millionaire chocolate factory magnates but that hasn't stopped me!)

Today after shovelling a small amount of horse poo (he’s living out 247 now) I booked an event to pay for someone to judge me 🤣. It’s not called dressage/stressage for a reason

I did similar when I worked for in the emergency services and have only just realised that sometime since then I’ve more or less stopped doing it.

If I'm dieting for a holiday i lie in bed at night and drift off to imagining I have long svelte tanned limbs and a washboard stomach. Om typically frolicking on a beach. I swear since I started doing it I lose weight easier!!

I fall asleep pretending I'm laying in a hospital bed. Im not dying, but Im not in a great way. Certain Friends and DH are at my bedside, they're arguing over who is to blame for what happened to me (found collapsed in the street but not sure how) because they all pull me in different directions. I sometimes have my headphones on with hospital sounds playing. Or, DH finds me in the morning and can't wake me. I pull through but give him a scare. I think the latter is to see how much DH cares for me.

Makes me wonder even more about the Royal Family. Between hunting terrified animals for fun, abusing trafficked girls and chopping people in the windpipe which sounds like an act of ABH frankly. They are very odd unpleasant people.

You really should have sued, they're hardly brassic.

In the gym someone collapses. Im a dr and give them urgent medical care and save them. In RL I am not a dr. I don't even work in health care
Or
I collapse and I can just about speak to ask someone to give me my life saving medication. But I don't quite finish speaking before I fully pass out.

I think the medical stuff is me wanting people to do stuff for me in RL .. or show they give a shit about me.. ie I come home and DH has done it all. NEVER going to happen, NEVER Has

Quitting my job without another one lined up.

Are you actually a man?

There's nothing wrong with the word ambiguous in this context - it is perfectly clear.

This morning I came downstairs and my car was crying to be fed. I asked him if he was a Dothraki screamer and if he wanted to move to Vaes Dothrak. That would probably be weird to other 5

I often present an imaginary cooking program when I'm cooking, I find cooking boring but necessary and having my own program distracts me.

I keep buying quilting fabric despite having enough to last about four decades at my current rate of production, when I have an optimistic life expectancy of about two decades.

Oh I do this, but not at night, usually when I am driving to work. I think my list of chosen tracks has changed a bit over the years.

My kids are pretty good at a sport they do, and young enough that I can imagine them getting "spotted" by someone on an Olympic committee- I think about whether school will be supportive of them missing lessons for their Olympics training and if we'll need to move house nearer to a training center- and of course how it'll feel when they win a gold medal and then tell the TV presenters it's all thanks to their amazing supportive parents!

Better to have lived, loved and lost than never to have lived or loved at all.