What is an experience you never want to experience again in your lifetime?

[sooo4455]

The most stressful time in my life started about 7 years ago and went on for 2 years and my mental health took an absolute battering and im still not over it. And now im super paranoid about it happening again.

I had bedbugs and a rat problem under the bath at the same time and pest control were useless.
i had a toddler at the time and their was 7 of us and I was advise to put everything we owned (twice) in the garden while they tried to get the bedbugs under control. I had to wash every soft furnishing and beds, draws, wardrobes had to be emptied and placed outside in bags in the sun. Only thing that was allowed in the house was furniture. I had postnatal depression at the time and I just remember sitting in the garden with everything we owned (twice). With the rats they were running around under the bath and were huge. My bathroom is downstairs and they’d chewed from the outside in, the smell was not normal and the noise all day from them scurrying around 🤮
It finally got resolved after 2 years but at that point I was shot to bits. I don’t think people realise how traumatic it is the live with a bedbugs. I’m so paranoid about getting them again I try and stay away from public transport and hotels or I will research the shit out of them before booking and even then I’m hyper vigilant and can’t sleep.

What is something you never want to go though again?

Taking a boat trip in Portugal with family to see the dolphins in the Atlantic and being continuously sea sick leading to a panic attack on a small boat. Ended up in hospital, then had an hour and a half walk home after I’d discharged myself. Never setting foot on a boat again, ever. My poor family were terrified I was going to jump out of the boat. 🥺

I feel for both of you here tbh - my brother is like this with my mum. Was always like it growing up and it was horrible to live with. He went through a severe health episode in his mid-20s which triggered his predisposed schizophrenia which made the whole thing 20x worse. 10 years later and she has to live with him as his unofficial carer but he is awful to her. Used to be very physically threatening, and while that has stopped still makes very violent and abusive verbal attacks on her. She already has a very weakened psychological state due to her own life occurrences, and seeing the impact it has on her is devastating. I wish I could save her, and have her live with me, but she blames herself entirely and refuses to leave him. Almost like a self-inflicted punishment. Its really depressing and affects me and my sister, as well.

I hope both of your situations turn around, its such a niche situation to be in that so many people dont understand. I see you and I know how it is. Stay strong, I really do hope it gets better.

My daughter dying

3 friends dying last year, one suddenly and the other two from cancer 😔 all under 60. Unfortunately there's going to be more of that as I get older.

Saying goodbye to my dad before he went into heart surgery, I had been holding it together for him and my mum until then but after i'd left the ward I fell to bits. Thankfully he came through it.

Attenpted sexual assault by someone I thought was a friend - I had to literally fight my way out of his house.

Thank you so much, it impacts the whole family. Your poor mum hope she gets the strength to not have to live her life like that, scared and trying her best. So hard letting go, she is lucky to have a lo ong daughter who is on her side ❤️

Witnessing my 26 year old nephew dying as a result of a White Collar Boxing match. It was a one off. He was only doing it as a personal challenge to help him focus on something different due to a difficult break up and to raise money for Cancer Research.
3 two minute rounds. One punch killed him. He was fit and strong and insisted on doing it despite all of his family begging him not to. He didn’t think it would happen to him. Who would?
Please, please, please discourage anyone you know who might want to do this. It’s a shoddy organisation who don’t look after the boxers.

A back to back labour with no pain relief (multiple requests for an epidural were declined) Gas and Air did nothing as did pethidine. I was wringing and biting down on a towel. Had a window been open I would have jumped out of it, anything to have stopped the pain. I am aware how awful that sounds. I couldn't help but think that will stop the pain.

Rats were a trauma and we still aren’t 100% rid. It does shred your nerves

1. Any day when my so-called dad was alive. He might have gone through abuse as a child, but there was no reason to repeat it with his own children. Thankfully, the one of us that has children has turned out to be a good parent.
2. My schooldays! I was horrendously bullied. I was glad to find that those people who said, "Your schooldays are the best days of your life!" were lying to me! Life has (mostly) been better since!
3. The days when my manager thought it was appropriate to try to bully people out of a job. He hates women. Since I reported him, his behaviour has much improved... it's still a shame he didn't admit to any of it and get sacked, though. That would have perked us up no end!

I’m so sorry. My sister lost her 26 year old son. It breaks my heart every day thinking about it. Would you like to tell us about your daughter?

Me neither - they must be doing it wrong!! 😉

Dear Lord, this is horrendous. I would have thought this would be national news. Sorry for your loss.

I get that you have to protect yourself theres only so much you can take. I get the social worker thing as well. Our social worker told me I have PR so i can't kick him out. Even though it was effecting my other children quite badly. was willing to try and I did it got worse. Then we had a different social worker she was a bit better. Tried to help me put boundaries in place. Bring ds into the conversation. My ds kept saying there was no food in the house when there was. Demanding take always getting aggressive/violent if I said no. Socal worker used to check cupboards and bedrooms. She was only able fir a few weeks or so it was decided needed his own social worker. Not the whole family
I did kick him out in the end. This time no one went on about me having PR he was put into supported accommodation.

And it was actually the best choice . I don't think things would have changed otherwise.

Im sorry you are still struggling mentally it takes time to heal. I still get worried over tones of voice. If a tone is a bit firm or abrupt I feel tense. I get the dentist thing. I think being in a dentist chair can give a feeling of trapped. Then there the sudden movements that you can't quite see.

I wish thongs were better for you.

If people found lockdown a relief it’s usually because they find “normal” life challenging in a way many do not -,not because they are arseholes or don’t have empathy for others.

I have always thought this must be so awful. I had morning sickness in my second pregnancy for less than three months and it wasn't all day long so I would have moments free from the nausea but I always remember thinking how awful this condition must be.

Your experience mirrored mine almost, you have pr was the one liner that always came out when I begged for them to be rehoused, not listened to and not seen. Thank you so much xx

I went through something extremely traumatic as a teen. But I'd go through it again if it meant not losing my dog. That pain, the sudden loss of being absolutely fine to dead the next morning... It's changed me as a person worse than I'd ever expected. But I have another dog now and still dread the day she goes. I just hope beyond hope that it's from old age and expected this time, so I have time to come to terms with it first.

Aww thank you so much ❤️ I do try to be there for her the best I can and help her through his episodes. It really is tough and like you say does affect the whole family. Its such a shame when things turn out this way. Thank you for your kind words, wishing you all the best ❤️

I have no idea what to say to you but I truly hope you’re son is doing okay 💐x

Chronic alcohol addiction. I have been through and experienced some terrible things in my life, but when I reached rock bottom from the addiction and third detox, I wasn't far from death. The feeling of withdrawal was something indescribable. Now living a good full life sober for the past few years and would never touch it again.

Where to even begin? I have a diagnosis of CPSTD so I have a whole menu to chose from. If I think about it the worst thing that i have ever been through is still raw and recent, a young family member was taken ill around this time last year, they were dead 7 weeks later. I still can't take it in and it haunts me. It is the first thing I think about when I wake up and the last thing I think about when I try to sleep. there are no stages of grief in my opinion, you just grow around it and incorporate it into your being. I still think that if I message or phone them they will get back to me, I can't bring myself to delete their number and sometimes I just stare at the photos on my phone thinking "this time last year the hell was just starting"

Im so sorry your mum is going through that. Its so hard for her. And for you to watch. 💐

Giving birth to my stillborn son. I will never forget that day as long as I live.

Watching my dad die from cancer. There is no way that I would go through that, I've warned DH that if I get cancer/terminal illness I will be taking an early exit with an OD.

Finding my husband dead. I'd been talking to him less than 10 minutes before.
My son trying to kill himself, he nearly succeeded. We are still struggling with getting proper, effective psychiatric treatment. Every day is difficult. And sad.

An arson attack on my home