Shall I just go to the restaurant my DH booked or say something?

[reversegear]

For context we are in marriage counseling mostly for him being passive and leaving me to carry the load and me being the leader and stepping in, plus lots of other issues, but the lady said he needed to stop asking me what I want and be more decisive, she was also eluding to saying “I’ve looked at these three places, which would you prefer” she’s meaning real deep effort and thought.

Anyhow we have the meeting on Thursday and on Friday he’s like right we are out on Saturday night. Ok great that’s a start but when I said am I allowed to ask where, he gave me the name of the place we always go to and have been say 6-7 times, it’s lovely expensive restaurant but it’s the very easy simple go-to option and there isn’t much on the menu I fancy as they change it.

I feel really deflated, and a bit angry that’s he’s kind of just gone for something quick and easy, he’s not even sat down and looked at a new place.

i know this is part of the process, but everything in me wants to say something, and look at alternatives or just say don’t bother.

Or do you think I have to carry this and go along and the focus ny feeling with the marriage counselor?

For context he’s never booked anything.

I couldn’t disagree with this more

it’s not impossible to consult someone before the plans are set in stone. Do you have a preference for where we go …. I’m thinking about location x .. y .. z, do you have a preference… is there anywhere you would like to go …

so. many.options.

Someone in Paignton is having a very similar issue OP!

Maybe he’s a bigamist and his brain scrambled with the weight of it all 😮

Relationships are the method through which we make the insurmountable dramas of life surmountable. If they are a source of your troubles you are doing them wrong.

Omg that’s spooky!! I promise I’m not that OP

That post does sound really similar to yours, even down to the American spelling of ‘counselling’ (‘counselling’).

Would you rather have been taken for a carvery though?!

How weird (Paignton)

I’m sure I could have found something wrong with that!!

That’s just my terrible spelling, I guess at least I’m not using AI. Or spell check 🤣

Ha ha ha imagine, he’d have to have a helicopter, we are about 5 hours away. And I’m pretty sure he wouldn’t be able to as I’m that much!

And you’d have to organise it all! Dear, did you text wife No. 2 that we are away next weekend. Dear, don’t forget to fill up the car, it’s a long journey to Paignton, and take that overnight bag I bought you specially for these trips. 😁

Looks like someone has basically stolen your content for clicks. Happens all the time with people's weight loss before and after pics.

Practically word for word - down to the number of times they've been to the restaurant. Someone has been copying for likes and clicks I suspect.

Yes, thats why it caught my attention! Weird the things people do for likes/comments!

My post (Why do you consider that saying something, or going to the restaurant, are mutually exclusive?) meant that you can do both - say something AND go to the restaurant.

It sounds like you’re done.

you don’t have to keep working on it.
start working on letting go with your couples therapist. They can help you both extricate yourselves with Grace.

Im astonished that all of you have so misread the poster!
Poor OP! You're being so blasted on here when its very obvious why your upset!
The task you wanted your husband to complete was, book something that is special for me. Book a place that is new to me! Make me feel like you spent more than a few goddamn minutes just calling the number of the same bloody place you always go to, yes he's maybe completing the outline most basic of requirements of a booking. But the entire point and spirit of yhe request as been badly let down.
The point was to spend half an hour researching something SHE Would Like! Soend time thinking about her and her likes and dislikes, what would excite her! What would put a huge giant smile on her face.
THAT was the goddamn point of the reservation!
Not oh lets give a round of applause to the man who STILL manages to do the absolute nase minimum of requirements.
Are we all seriously dragging thsi women down for being a tiny bit upset the he still didn't give her the fee minutes worth of thought she's been begging for. And gets to get away with this charade of planning something???
Shame on you all for these.

wow the vitriol?.You need to check yourself. He did the very basic minimum. Barely thought about her, didn't do any research, didn't try to go outside of the box. He probably just did it on online from his ohone. This is not him suddenly organising or taking the lead on something and she's not being grateful.
This is hkm saying, sorry ive let you down again and i wouldn't get oo excited about how long this will last because ive just shown im only ever really going.to.do the bare minimum and thats under duress.

Wow.just wow..Tell me what part of making a single reservation at the same stupid place they always go to is, "him taking control"???
Or could in anyway be him organising something. He really didn't. Since when as a 2 second call - if that! Is him organising something!???

You're out of line..How dare you accuse someone like that when you don't know a damn thing about them!??

Mate, this thread is from March. I would imagine OP and her H have had it out by now, one way or another.