Regrets, do you have lots, a few, none?

[NovemberMorn]

I don't have any, not any serious ones anyway.
I accept I have made mistakes, probably a few bad choices, but they have all been a learning curve.
We can all muse about the sliding doors theory, but in the scheme of things, what's the point of having regrets?

I have a lot of regrets. I've never understood how people can just rationalise away regrets as pointless. I know they are, but that doesn't stop them eating away at me.

I regret having another child.

It’s an awful thing to admit and it’s nothing to do with her personally. I’m just a very poor parent to two children. I have become someone I don’t even recognise myself. I’m foul to my children and I hate myself for it.

I have some that I could have changed and some that I couldn't.

I wish I'd been a better mother. But I know my strengths/weaknesses and I'm just no good at it. It isn't in me.

I wish I hadn't moved to the part of the country I live in. This WAS within my control. But I'm trapped by house prices now.

I had a fab job 10 years ago that I wish I hadn't left. That was a bad decision.

Equally, I had a hugely well paying job 5 years ago that could have changed the trajectory of my life, but it meant only seeing family once or twice a year. It wasn't sustainable. But...

Wish I hadn't bothered with any of my LTR. They were all crap in one way or another.

I've lost sight of key concepts at work a few times. I know the theory really, but I've let emotion get in the way, when I absolutely shouldn't have done. I regret it and I'm 100% to blame for it. Didn't lead to dire consequences or anything, but I'm still ashamed now.

Nearly forgot! A huge, huge, huge one. I went virtually no contact with my mother for the last 5 years of her life. She badly hurt me (and had also been a not great mum), but I really wish now I'd made more effort to at least stay low contact. I do understand her/her life and know she was a victim of her past (as we all are). I cringe now when I see others going NC with their families. Not saying everyone doing it is wrong. But some people will end up with the regret I carry. And it's huge.

I regret so much.

As I get older I regret some of my choices. More because of the impact it has on my own children. At the time I didn't have the foresight to consider the long term effects. I realise just how naive I was. Maybe even selfish for pleasing myself.

Do you feel able to explain more @LemograssLollipop ?

None. I personally believe that in life, things happen for a reason and try to take the positives from bad things that have happened and move on. Some things have scarred me but they have shaped me and made me what I am today.

if I had done things differently then I wouldn’t have the life I have now - be it good or bad.

Perhaps im just too logical and rationalising it but to me, regret is a useless emotion.

I do have a few ‘head on desk’ moments about things I’ve done but there’s nothing I can do about it now. I just tell myself that I did the best I could at the time.

I regret the times I was angry and unpleasant to the people I love.
I don't regret the mistakes I made that were due to my youth, ignorance and naivety, because I couldn't have helped it. But I deeply regret the times I've been unpleasant and should have known better, and seeing as everyone behaves like that sometimes, I find it odd when people say they don't regret anything in their lives.

None really, because I just don’t see the point in dwelling on the past and beating myself up over things I can’t change.

Non, je ne regrette rien

My biggest regret is that I didn’t value myself more (at all) when I was younger.

A few. More if I had my time again, I wouldn’t do it that way kinda thing. I might make some better choices. But nothing I would ever dwell on. I know my life wouldn’t be my life now, if I hadn’t made the choices I made back then, and I bloody love my life and the people in it so in that sense no regrets. I’m content that I’ve figure things out eventually so that part 2 of my life will not contain any

I regret nothing, although there are a couple of things I would do differently. My choices at those times were based solely on my belief that I didn't matter, and everyone else's wants and needs were more important.

I should have realised sooner that I mattered too. It took a good therapist to help me reach that point.

From a salary point of view, I regret being a SAHM. I was a techy in the defence industry, 5 years out was too long to pick it back up.

That said, I am 15 years into a completely different field. The money is rubbish but I love the people I work with and enjoy my job.
I wouldn't have looked twice at this job prior to having my children.

It’s 25 years tomorrow since I met the biggest mistake of my life.

I regret every decision I made from 15 onwards!

I have achieved so little in my life, its actually embarrassing.

Thank you, I was beginning to think it was only me who felt this way!

I was once asked if I’d “overheard” a conversation in another room and for some reason I said “yes” even though I hadn’t and I have wondered for nearly 30 years what was said.

I regret lots of other things. I could have been a decent person without the hardship.

I regret watching season one of Fleabag.

Mostly I regret not standing up for myself more.

I wish I had talked to my parents more and written down what they told me about family history. Once they're gone, all that knowledge has gone too.

I regret giving too much of myself to my stepchildren, and not focusing on my children more. My stepchildren are traumatised and broken people, but they weren’t my problem to fix, and in trying to, I missed opportunities with my own children.

Lots I’m afraid. Pretty big ones. I can’t actually believe how things have ended up, and indeed are going

I'm 50 this year and I wouldn't even try to travel in time in case I accidentally change something in my life. I love it just like it is.

There are lots of things I’d do differently if I had my time again although I don’t dwell on it. I only think about it when asked so these things don’t bother me particularly. Is that still a regret? 🤔

@hardonetoadmit I didn't return to my home town after uni. Well I did but then moved because the commute to work was too far. I've always since felt like I was never part of anything and far from family. I now see I chose my career over family although i tried hard to maintain the links. I visited often, always there for holidays and celebrations but it was always one way. Visits to me are rare and I'm only an hour away!
Family is important to me so it hurts that I don't feel like a priority for them. In really dark moments I've wondered if I was unwell, say if I had cancer, would I share that news? The reason to share would be to ask for support. If it didn't come, that would be upsetting. If it did come, I'd feel like it's only because of whatever 's wrong. I concluded l wouldn't share even though that sounds like cutting off my own nose to spite my face. Thankfully I don't have to make that decision 🙏