SIL thinks I made her sick :(

[FlappingAboutTheFuture]

SIL and family came round after an activity on Saturday and had dinner with us.

SIL is strictly wheat and gluten free, awaiting testing but already knows she has a severe intolerance. I take that seriously but I know lots of family members don't and SIL is quite sensitised to the idea that someone isn't taking it seriously. Which I understand, so I do my absolute best and have successfully made meals for her in the past and she does, sort of, trust me with food now.

I made a meal of: jacket potatoes, grated cheese, baked beans, houmous, guacamole, and salad.

I checked the ingredients on the beans and houmous, no wheat or gluten. I made the guacamole myself so know what went in it (avocados, lime juice, fresh coriander, fresh chilli, fresh tomato). I even checked the ingredients on the mustard that went into the salad dressing to make sure that was GF (which it was!) - salad dressing was lemon juice, olive oil, fresh garlic, and mustard.

So as far as I could establish the meal was completely wheat and gluten free but apparently SIL spent all of Sunday and yesterday being sick and rang DP past night to quiz him about what was in the meal. Obviously our kitchen isn't really a 100% safe environment as we do eat wheat and I'm an ingredients cook so there could be all sorts of cross contamination, but I did my best and she was the one who said eating here would be fine so long as the actual meal itself didn't have wheat or gluten. I feel terrible now but I'm sure it wasn't my fault but I don't think SIL will ever trust me again...

Cordial might have had barley in it, there are regular recalls of foods due to undeclared gluten/wheat/barley and cross contamination - also of specifically gluten free products 😑- but other than that, it's likely more that she's frustrated that she's been glutened (and the symptoms are pretty unmistakeable) and can't work out how.

Allergy to sesame seeds?

Dear SIL - I am so sorry that you were ill on Sunday. I can not imagine what you are going through. I hope that you will trust me again, to cook for you, but also I will understand if you would prefer to go to Nando's next time instead. I wondered if it might have been the butter - and some cross contamination. Of course it is also possible that simply being in a kitchen that does not have a dedicated gluten free space with dedicated utensils, might be the issue. I hope you know that I love you and would never be less than meticulous in terms of how your food is prepared - though this time, it seems that something did go wrong. Let's talk so that we can work out what to do next time. All my love FatF

Oh, sorry for the second post.

I am convinced that baked beans are being contaminated at manufacture. Used to be absolutely fine with Heinz, but once they changed the sausages in beans and sausages from gluten free to even cheaper ones with wheat, I've had just plain beans and felt like I was going to die - literally - within 20 minutes, I was crying, puking and shitting all at once with the worst pain and the worst smell I had ever experienced. Thought it must be a coincidence, but had some about three months later and had exactly the same reaction again. Tried a supermarket brand and the same reaction again (I suspect that they were also made by Heinz, as they do supply some supermarkets own brands),

At the same time, I can eat significant quantities of plain tinned beans, all the hummus I can make, cook all types of beans from dried and not a single issue. But a tin of baked beans? Awful.

As a coeliac, I and think I've inadvertently been exposed to gluten, I find it hard to strike a balance between trying to investigate what caused it for my own future information and upsetting the person who hosted me and kindly went out of their way to accommodate me.

I know what a minefield it is trying to avoid gluten in this country and so just want to figure out where/how I was exposed to gluten in order to help me be more cautious in future.

When you said mustard, I immediately wondered if the mustard was already open and someone had dipped a knife into it spread it on a sandwich and dipped it back in. Or was it a new jar?

How is having an allergy or an autoimmune reaction “attention seeking”?!

I'm sure someone else will have pointed this out @FlappingAboutTheFuture and I CBA to read the whole thread, but mustard is a common allergen that your SIL might want to keep an eye on. You were really thoughtful and careful so I'm sorry she blamed you.

I just wanted to ask if she also ate out that day as you mention that you offered eating out or at yours and as you were eating out later, they chose to come to yours?

If she also ate out, might the issue lay there and not in your home?

You really did your best hon.
So don't feel guilty. But don't invite her around again for anything to eat. Too risky.

Don't let her hold it against you.
Ignore her and enjoy your life and family

Good luck
👍😻
X

I forgot to quote you in my last post. How on east is having an allergic or autoimmune reaction make you an attention seeker?!

DD's friend has a severe gluten intolerance and always brings her own food to any dinner or party. .

I have a friend who says she has coeliac disease and requires everything gluten free for every meal. I have aways bought in expensive GFcakes (from a shop which makes the most divine GF stuff) and other foods when she comes for coffee & cake with the girls. Last time just she came, she had a quick coffee, because she had another appointment, and took all the cakes, for both of us, home with her. As she left she said, "oh lovely to have cakes from xyz, such a treat. I do find flour makes me feel a bit bloated..." Well yes, me too, and most people, too. We're not coeliac though.

Apologies as I've not read the whole thread, but I was told to not use products with maltodextrin in by SIL when catering for DN.

Not sure if this has been mentioned previously,

Im gluten intolerant mustard sets me off badly

Hey, you did your best and went far beyond what many people would do.
My husband is a coeliac (we've been together over 35years).
Sometimes, when you eat out or in other people's homes you can get 'glutened'. It happens.
You've told her what you made and it all sounds fine to me.
Btw it's very easy to go to the same restaurant a few times and then get 'glutened' there. As you're totally relying on the staff. Fortunately coeliac disease doesn't result in anaphylaxis when exposed.

Sounds as if you got lucky and she won't come for dinner again. She sounds like a rude ingrate.

This^^ it’s rife just now.

Is she used to eating hummus? Either the chickpeas and / or garlic if she's not used to it and ate a decent amount.

As there's no gluten or wheat in the meal how does she actually think you made her ill?

It's probably a bug, lots of it going around atm.

She might not be being rude. One of the reactions I have had (especially to hard cheese and broad beans) is to get out-of-control angry - I could hear myself and want to stop but could not. Husband bundled me into bed, told me I was having an allergic reaction, and I needed to sleep it off. When I woke up, I was OK.

Gluten cross contamination happens so easily. Could have been the butter.

People that have serious allergies need to bring their own tolerable food, simple. Maybe their own plate, cutlery, etc.
She's causing drama over her own, not easy, but controllable issue.
Not your problem OP, you did as much as you did and were extremely thoughtful x

Oh for goodness sake don’t entertain her nonsense any longer. How does she even know it was gluten? It might have been food poisoning from poor food handling at the chain or a bug . She hasn’t even been diagnosed as coeliac yet.

I think you need to always eat out from now on. The fact she has jumped to blame you rather than the restaurant, means she doesn't trust you and you are just setting yourself up to fail.

If she is that sensitive/ill, she really shouldn't be risking eating out so much. My best friend's mum has celiac and she wouldn't eat out often at all, and definitely not twice in a day.

You also need to avoid- Wheat , Barley and Rye free.
I learnt this from a friend who is Coeliac.
If you tried your best thats all you can do and she needs to appreciate that.

So your SIL is more likely to believe the gluten free promises of an anonymous chain against you who has personally checked everything in the meal you made? Look what happened to that poor teenager who died on a flight after eating a well known chain’s sandwich which was meant to be nut free. Mistakes happen sadly.

Heard it all now