Tried it once ...... never again!!

[NagathaCrispy]

Just caught a bit of the Winter Olympics on TV and was reminded of the one and only time I tried skiing. It was one of the worst and most terrifying experiences of my life and I will definitely not, never, ever be doing it again!!

Ditto, my only experience of scuba diving .... still having nightmares years later!!!!!

Both these activities are on my "Tried it once but never again" list. Anyone else got a Never Again experience?

People like the King George bit because it’s the easiest bit to understand and it’s not rapping.

Just remembered something else - massage.

I has one at a very nice spa hotel in Spain but the masseuse didn’t speak English and I don’t speak Spanish. I was lying face down with my head through that hole in the bed just listening to her footsteps echo round the room but couldn’t see her.

I felt like I was being attacked while blindfolded, never knew when it was going to stop or start and far from being relaxing it was like someone just pummelling and squashing my back. Hideous, but I was way too English and reserved to say “Stop!”

Another time I had an Indian Head massage and spent all night throwing up - toxins apparently? I’d rather keep hold of my toxicity, never again.

@dayswithaY You see, I loves a massage but one I’ll never do again is a fourhanded one. I thought it would be double the bliss but I couldnt relax at all because I didnt know until I was undressed that one of the masseurs was a man. I spent the whole time tensed up wondering whose hand was going where.

It felt like the worst threesome ever. When I got up the bloke gave me such a look of disgust too.I dont think he’d seen a wobbly British body before.

@Sidebeforeself A fourhanded massage? I’d be silently screaming.

Weirdly, I felt judged by my masseuse too.

The rapping is precisely the reason I gave up on it. I hate rap.

Give me a proper old fashioned tune any day.

*Vinvertebrate *
Oh my god that's horrendous!
I'm even more glad l legged it now. Even more than when l was told after our night out that one of the women in our party was sitting near the stage and one of the strippers came down and put his willy in her drink....😱

What an entitled pig!

ItsAJourney
Oh god, no. I know it's ridiculous, but l'm scared to death of butterflies and moths. I can't imagine being stuck in a tunnel thing with hundreds of them!
Weirdly, l'm also scared of house spiders, but l've held a tarantula. That didn't bother me at all because it was 'furry' and didn't scuttle.

Bluebootsgreenboots
Mr katseyes was invited to the eldests for dinner one evening.
Eldest's wife is Japanese, they're both amazing cooks, and he said later that the food was fantastic.
However. He rang me, ranting (likely fuelled up on sake), on the way home, that they'd given him 'some shit with fucking frogspawn in the bottom.'
It probably didn't help that l couldn't answer him for laughing. The eldest (who loves winding his dad up) told me later that he'd given it to him deliberately because he knew he'd hate it and go off on one, but he'd have to be polite while he was there. And he was right. 😂

*raspberets *
She loved it, apparently, the scruffy mare. Talked about it for weeks after.
I'd have thrown the drink over him.

Any attention aye!

scruffy mare

In my family we use 'dirty cat'. Works especially well in a Brummie accent. And, yes, she's a dirty cat.

I've never been to a stripper show as such but years ago,my cousins mates hired one for her birthday party

The same birthday party where grannies,grandads,mum,dad,aunts uncles,cousins and her friends where attendees

Im stuck behind some curtain (god knows why),just off the stage with his creepy mate was trying to chat/touch me up and there's me trying to.push him away

Shes sat on the stage,her mates cheering her on,while she down to her underwear and imitating blow jobs and various sexual positions with this bloke who is covered in enough baby oil to make him slide off the stage if he slipped,being cheered on by her mates and mum (!) while the rest of us where trying not to look (my poor father was traumatised-hes no prude but didnt want to see his niece doing this and the rest of us where mortified)

I vowed there and then I would never go to see any show with a stripper in it

Im not a prude but I really didnt need to see that

See also ann summers parties-one was more than enough for a lifetime

Yeuch.

Vintageblueribbon
Nooo! Oh that's awful! What were they thinking?!

Oh massage! I forgot about that!

I love getting a good sports massage, and go for a thai massage on occasion. But I will never again go for an ayurvedic massage.

I had the ayurvedic massage in India and the masseuse (female, thank heaven) spoke virtually no English. I'm used to stripping down to shorts or underwear for a massage, but in this one I had to take EVERYTHING off then put on a pair of cotton disposable knickers. Then she massaged me ALL OVER (except my vulva!!) - I have this vivid memory of lyung on my back with my eyes closed, just wanting it to stop and having no shared language to tell her,whilst she quite vigorously massaged my naked boobs.

So - never again!

Oblivion at Alton Towers!

As very very naive virginal teenager I agreed to go to a house party . As it was explained to me it was selling things in someone's house ....I thought was a cancer charity and as I'd lost my dad to cancer as a young teenager i felt i should go to.support it.

It was in this occasion in my development that I learned that there was a difference between Sue Ryder and Ann Summers. 😳

Oh I loved the annual school trip to Alton Towers, the children were so shocked that I, in my 50s, loved the Oblivion, I used to tell them I'd push them out of the queue to get on again! It was a joke, before the self-righteous squad sharpen their mental pencils. I still, now in 70s, love white knuckle rides.

*Mauvish1 *
We stayed at a beautiful hotel in Egypt, one of my friends went for a massage in the spa.
That evening, over dinner, we asked how the massage had been and she said "Well.... it was good, except.... she did my boobs!" - accompanied by appropriate gestures.
We couldn't believe it. I don't think she could, either.

I have never been to an Ann Summers evening, are they terrible?

@Mauvish1 i had some kind of colon-cleansing detox Ayurvedic massage at a spa retreat in India where the “finale” involved the masseuse ramming a digit up my bum. I was rather surprised. I had a coffee enema at 6am the next day and tbh my arsehole has never been the same since that holiday.

I’ve also got a new “never again” experience from today, namely polynucleotide injections in my face. Think bubonic plague rash in the shape of an eye mask, fading to the look of a woman who just lost a serious bar fight. <chefs kiss at mirror>

That'll be the subconjuctival/ retinal haemorrhages. Jumping twos-up increases the risk of detached retina/s so I suppose you got off fairly light.

Note to readers, always wear at least one sports bra if bungee jumping - another risk that's usually not mentioned in the safety talk is that of damage to the suspensory ligaments of the breasts.

The pretend injury. 😂💀

I might suggest this one to him.

Take a bandage with you! Just in case of course 😂