So this is a long one, and I am going to try to cut it down. I am 48 and have been asked to be the Maid of Honour for my friend of 30 years. She has always been single and has been to all our weddings, births, birthdays etc. She is a lovely person, but has had some significant childhood trauma, coupled with drinking, which means she falls out with people a lot and says some really awful things. I personally have never really been subject to this as I have managed to dodge it. Anyway, three of us and various younger girls have been asked to be bridesmaids. She is really excited and we're all so happy she has finally found her person and is settling down, as I know she has always craved this stability. Her fiancé is a great guy, and we all really like him.
2 weeks ago, we had it all booked that we would do the bridesmaids' dresses, trying on at her house (she does not want to go to a shop). So we all shared ideas for dresses, and she gave them a yay/nay. Based on this, I went ahead and ordered various sizes of the same dresses for us all to try on. I also threw in a wildcard, as I liked the look of this. Fully transparent and she saw this in the messages. Anyway, the other bridesmaid and I have a chat group separate to plan the hen/stag stuff, etc. We agreed on the other chat to order all the dresses and to take the stress away from the bride to be as she has so much other stuff going on. We are paying for the dresses. So that night we ordered about £1000 worth of dresses between us all, and made sure we rearranged all the kids' activities, etc to ensure we are all free on the day that she wants to have the dresses tried on. We then messaged her like- Surprise, we have sorted this all out and are looking forward to the dress trying on. There was one particular dress she really liked, and one of the other brides made called the online company, and they shared the return period (only 14 days) and the order times, etc. So we shared with her that we will order that particular dress later in the week, which gives us enough time for it to arrive, try on, and return if it is not suitable. These were the 4 dresses she liked in various sizes. It was not any other dresses, aside from the one wild card, which I thought would be fun.
And she went absolutely mental at us, claiming that we are trying to take over the organisation of her wedding. How dare we do this, who do we think we are. Fuck this shit, etc., and she cancelled the dresses tying on. Even the next morning she demanded a list of the dresses we ordered, and it was the exact same list we had sent her anyway. This has really upset me and I feel emotionally drained.
It was really bad and shocking. I was absolutely flabbergasted. Knowing how she is, we sent some messages and said no one is trying to take over your wedding organisation, etc. But she didn't apologise and is still telling me she deserves an apology for us doing this. I am beyond fed up with the situation. I feel like I don't want to be a bridesmaid or Maid of Honour anymore.
I just don't know what to do.