Posted on Parenting but hoping for some more input.
My daugter (14) was severely disturbed by her father leaving us very abruptly (3 years ago) to go live overseas with his girlfriend (we were married but he had had the girlfriend throughout our marriage, unbeknownst to me). He pays nothing towards her or her 2 brothers and sees them once a year for a couple of hours. She idolises him. She complains that I hate her, she wants to go live with him, etc. a lot. I've done my very best as a single mum. Worked as much as I could. Taken them for meals out. Paid for school trips. Expensive hobbies. Music lessons of their choice. Taxied. All the usual parent stuff you'd expect. And I've reassured them they are all very much loved, and I would never leave them.
Tonight, I've emailed school as my daughter struggles with a particular subject. Within minutes she came crashing downstairs, screaming at me to delete the email. I've no idea how she read it, but suspect her dad has access to my email (he's hacked me before and was given a non-molestation order for this and other domestic abuse which I discovered once he'd left - putting trackers on my devices, car, etc.). Cue a huge meltdown, during which time I prised her phone from her hands as she needed to calm down urgently. She then berated me for a good 30 mins. at which point I just gave her the phone back. I was sick of the upset. 30 mins. later, Police arrive with a report of assault on a child. She had reported me (possibly with her dad's input). Police were great. Spoke to her alone and told her I was simply parenting and that she hadn't been assaulted. SS now involved as I'm struggling with her volatile emotions. I feel awful, can't sleep and have no idea how to approach things in the morning. I daren't leave my bedroom. Please help.