Friend keeps sending long voice notes instead of messages

[GirouxSein]

A friend has started sending voice notes for everything. Some of them are 5 minutes long and I often can’t listen straight away. It then feels rude when I reply hours later.
I know it’s probably meant to be more personal, but I find it a bit overwhelming and honestly prefer a normal message I can skim when I’m busy.

I get this because I have this problem. But then I'd only send a VN in this situation for something urgent and quick. eg, "Sorry, running a bit late. See you in 10 minutes" or whatever. And ditto, if I get a quick voice note like that, usually from soomeone who is driving so can't text, fine.

But SIL does the 8 minute long voicenotes while she's walking the dog and it drives me mad. Usually, it's some really omplex issue with her ex or one of the kids so I feel obliged to listen to it properly, but it's infuriating. I do speed them up quite a lot.

I do this. This solves the problem of me not being able to type long messages (when I’ve not got my reading glasses to hand) but saves the recipient from receiving a vn!! Win win.

My sister does this, drives me mad. Sometimes she leaves me 7 minute messages. 7 minutes!!! I speed it up to twice the speed, can still sort of make out what shes saying.

That turns it into admin, frankly - and inefficient admin at that. And there isn't really a good time. I listen to music when I do housework and walk home, and I don't take my phone into the shower. (I'm not reconfiguring my home speakers for the sake of voice notes either.)

Even if I did have the time, I'd resent having to spend 5 minutes of it to get information I'd have only needed 5 seconds to glance at if it was in a message.

My friend does this but 3 x 15 minute bursts. I have find time to sit down and make notes to reply to the questions or follow up questions. I'm dyslexic. It's impossible. I have asked if we can just talk on the phone or face time. She doesn't like the phone or text. It's very hard to stay in contact. Also if say something off hand like like I'm really sad as my youngest is 11 and my ds is 18 and how things will change when he is at uni, we get into deep analysis of why I feel like that. Things just change when kis grow up and move away. She thinks it's like three years of boarding school and come back at 21 and it goes back to normal.

It's hard work. I have tried keeping everything light and holding back some of my news that be forensically picked apart. There's different types of friends in life. She isn't one to vent or mull thought with.

Does she expect you reply ASAP? I'd listen in the car for five minutes. A hour ended being impossible

My sister does this. Out of breath, calling to her dog, chatting (apologising) to other dog owners, and eventually saying the actual message.
Meanwhile i have to stop everything to listen.

I can’t stand them. I hate knowing I have a message there waiting from a friend but I can’t find out what they want until the meeting or phone call ends. And then I have to find somewhere private to listen to them. None of my friends work in busy offices so don’t understand that it might be hours before I get to their message. Just text me so I can see if you need a quick response! I’m just relieved now WhatsApp transcribes them for me.

I quite like them but only with very specific people! A friend and I are always on different schedules and really miss an actual chat. I listen to her voice notes on my commute and vice versa. But there's no expectation of an immediate response and it's more "here's my chat" and rambling rants that are designed to amuse.

I would not subject a non consenting participant to a voice note! 😆

Oh I cannot STAND this!! I was once chatting with a friend via WhatsApp messages and she sent me a voice note. I was in the hairdressers so couldn’t listen to it. Killed the conversation.

I don't particularly like them either. I do have 1 friend who sends them but we talked to her about it & understand that it's due to a medical.issue which makes texting difficult for her...so I listen to them when it's convenient & she isn't bothered if it's even a day or so later before I reply (I text back cos she can read them happily). Means we keep in touch as see each other only 4 or 5 times a yr IRL & actual phone calls are difficult to coordinate due to busy lives.
Surely you just speak to your friend about it? Depends how much you value the friendship.

I use voice notes as I have ADHD and am dyslexic. Writing texts is actually painful for me, which may be difficult to understand for some people. i have software at work to assist with writing. I speak and it translates for me. i dont have anything on my personal phone to assist with this. So all those saying I am lazy, a genX etc are wrong in my case. I am 49, have an Executive Director position and am definitely not lazy, I just communicate differently. in am open with people about this but it is easier in my position to do so. I am also a bit flummoxed as to why people think they need to listen and respond straight away? Should we not all be practising responding, unless an emergency, in a timely way but when convenient.

It's because the problem is a lot of people don't actually observe that rule, and that has a knock on effect. Others around them might be stuck trying to extract something important from several minutes of rambling waffle, in a communication style they may struggle with and never asked for. One can decide to wait until such a time as it's convenient, but that doesn't mean there won't then be consequences flowing from that.

You all need to move with the times! My 90+ year old nan can send a voicenote. I love getting them.
The pp who said her nephew loved sending short voice message and now doesn’t bother because she never replied - how sad. You’ll be moaning that he never visits and doesn’t stay in touch in a few years when you’re lonely.
I bet you were all the same when text messages came in. People were whinging that it was rude to send a text and moaning that people should call. Now it’s the other way round. What’s it going to be?
I do prefer simple messages on text - eg. Pick up is at 3pm or please bring milk.

@Angrybird76 your family/friends/contacts will know your difficulties and will listen to your messages , although you could do voice to text if you thought people were not listening.

“Op, just a simple "hun, text me instead as everyone is around i can't listen to vn" Xxx”

NetMums is the site you need, hun Xxx

I hate voice notes, they are so annoying! Take so much longer to “get the message” than just reading a text. Half the time I get them it’s when the baby is sleeping, or I’m feeding her and can’t listen anyway!

I bet you were all the same when text messages came in. People were whinging that it was rude to send a text and moaning that people should call. Now it’s the other way round. What’s it going to be?

I bet we weren't.

MN is much more similar to communication via text message than it is to communication via voice note. The people on here are a self-selecting group who like visual, typed and very interactive communication, or they'd not be posting on internet, text based forums in the first place. Audio communication with no visual element or two way interaction at all is very different.

Omg...i absolutely hate voice messages. I text anyone who leaves a voice message along the lines of. "Hi, I think you have left a voice text. For some reason I can't access these so best to leave a text in future. Thanks so much "

I listen to them when I'm doing something else.

Honestly don't mind VNs. They're quicker than typing.

I listen on double speed. And it's great to get a shot of news, and hear my friends sounding like chipmunks.

But generally, friends only tend to VN when the conversation is already happening via text. To clarify something, etc.

I have lots of far flung friends, and tend to do a voice-to-text chat into the phone, fix it up, and send it along. Because they're far away, they're often a little longer than a quick "making plans" text.

Voice-to-text is a lot quicker than actually sitting there and typing stuff up on my phone. Sometimes I type stuff up on WhatsApp web, but the phone is generally more handy...

But yes, it's very easy to see if someone is allergic to VNs - and then I don't send them.

For information on dates and times, always in text.

--

Edited for typos because I did voice-to-text here!

Here’s the transcribe setting in WhatsApp

Send a voice note right back. Waffle for a few mins about how you don't have time to listen to the voice note at the moment. Make sure to get distracted by other stuff / people while recording it. She'll soon learn.

Oh, I don't know what I'd do if he didn't.

They drive me nuts. He used to send those you speed up as well, which just confused me, so I'd message him back to ask what he said 🤦🏾‍♀️.

I think I was becoming a nuisance to him, so he reverted to texting.

I'm gonna do this if I get one 🤣🤣

WhatsApp will transcribe the note for you.