Friend keeps sending long voice notes instead of messages

[GirouxSein]

A friend has started sending voice notes for everything. Some of them are 5 minutes long and I often can’t listen straight away. It then feels rude when I reply hours later.
I know it’s probably meant to be more personal, but I find it a bit overwhelming and honestly prefer a normal message I can skim when I’m busy.

I use them occasionally if responding to a group chat whilst out walking with the pram...wouldn't do a group call and also don't have 2 hands free to type. Don't expect people to be able to listen straight away but my input to the conversation is there if they want to/are able to listen. Also if telling a long involved story (again no expectation for immediate reply). Sometimes they are just funnier as text doesn't always relay tone. Others in the group do the same...mostly texting with maybe 5-10% vn's so I don't think they find it annoying.
I use the transcription on whatsapp to get the general idea of a message if I can't listen but honestly it's not very good for a group chat full of Scottish Mums...an awful lot could get lost in translation 😂

Tried and tested. It works and is satisfying! 🤣

Just found the option to transcribe voice notes - thank you!

I don't get why voice notes are so much more inconvenient than a text. You don't have to stop what you're doing to listen to a voice note (can walk, cook, hang washing, whatever), but you do have to stop to read a written message.
They also don't need responding to immediately and I don't see why people think that.
One friend of mine in particular favours voice notes and never texts me. I personally hate sending them and will always text back, but that's fine; I explained to her early on that I don't like doing voice messages so will always respond with a text, and she didn't find that to be a problem either.

A friend sends me 10-minute voice notes from abroad. It’s nice to hear her voice but I’m usually strapped for time and can’t find a quiet spot to listen. I’d happily chat to her for 10 minutes but I get restless and agitated just listening.

Then when I finally get a moment to reply, I have to listen again to find the main points. Aaaaaargh

Tell your friend you don't like voicenotes and won't listen to them and to write it instead, that's what I do. Why do you have to tiptoe?

You can also put on your profile no voice notes to make it clear it's not personal - that's what a mate of mine does.

I would do this if I could. If I’m at work, I can’t listen until I get a break.

I didn't realise they were so hated, i love getting a voice note. Especially a long one i can listen to while folding the washing or tidyimg up or enjoying podcast style with a cup of tea!

Just tell her. It’s very selfish

It's to do with how people process information and also what they're likely to be doing when they receive them. You only don't have to stop what you're doing to listen to a VN if you aren't already somewhere around other people and noises. Even if I were equally comfortable with both forms of processing information, which I'm not, it's likely to take me more time to get myself into a position where I can listen to a VN then it is to read.

A 'friend' has recently started to leave me voice notes instead of text messages. I've known her for over 20 years, not a close friend, but she knows me well enough to know I am DEAF!

The voice notes are literally falling on deaf ears. At my request, DH listened to them for me.

When I see her next week, I will be asking her not to leave voice messages again (for obvious reasons).

I end up not responding for days.

So don't listen to it until or unless you're somewhere quiet. That's what I do. It's not hard, unless you really do feel compelled to listen to them straight away, in which case you're not helping yourself.

I love voicenotes, sending and receiving. I call them podcasts, and I mean it positively! Would much rather listen to a podcast from a loved one that from anyone else. However I don't have any notifications whatsoever turned on my phone so I respond to messages (whether text or VN) when I choose to, I don't set an expectation with anyone that I will respond to their messages straight away.

I am a freelancer and use them with my clients and lot as well for catching up async, as they do with me. Much easier than emails that get lost or having to schedule meetings.

If I am ever unable to listen I just use the transcribe option- do this a lot with work ones so I can copy into a doc and make sure I've not missed any action points.

It absolutely is hard for some people to process information delivered in that way.

But that aside, you asked why it's more inconvenient than a text or what's app, and that's the answer. It's because some people will need to either move or wait, and if they wait that's one more thing to remember. This of course can sometimes take more time and effort then reading a message. Inefficient admin, as someone described it upthread.

Also, people tend to self edit with text, so you get the message they’re wanting to send, rather than the message and their thought process.

It also makes it easier if there’s a vital bit of information in the middle of several messages - you can instantly scroll to it instead of having to re-listen to several minutes of other things

i always reply with: i can'T listen summarise in writing
and then ignore if that doesn't happen.

I'm amazed that people think sending voicenotes is rude and entitled when they're happy sending messages like this to loved ones.

This too!

For those more inclined to ramble, voice notes are a method that makes that more likely.

I meant it's not hard to grasp the idea of it being easier to listen to a message when you're somewhere quiet.
Things like WhatsApp show all messages as unread/un-listened-to; you don't need to remember to listen to it, your phone indicates that you've got something to listen to.
I think people are making heavy weather of this.

Thank you so much. I never knew about this. I have a couple of people who I work with who constantly send them even if it's only 16 seconds or something and it's an absolute nuisance because I then have to find somewhere quiet to be able to listen to them and it's usually just "Yeah, that's ok" kind of thing.

I miss the laughing emoji. Excellent advice! I wish WhatsApp would allow me to switch the option off at source so people couldn't send me a VN at all.

Exceptions upthread acknowledged, but if you can't be arsed to call me to speak at a convenient time for both of us or type your words, don't contact me. Typing involves effort for everyone. I don't need the additional life admin of having to manage someone's recorded inner thoughts.

(Again, others might get mutual enjoyment from VNs but its clear its a marmite form of communication and worth making sure the recipient is a fan too before directing your personal podcast in their direction)

But apparently it's hard to grasp the idea that some people's typical circumstances mean it'll usually take them longer to sort a quiet place to listen to the message than it will to read it? Because this isn't a complex point! And yes, you do still have to remember to check and act on any phone notifications.

And as a PP explained, for messages that do include important information, people are more likely to self edit if typing. For those who are ok with both communication styles, which isn't everyone, it's also usually easier to locate a piece of information you might need in a typed message than an audio one. There are a lot of factors you're not acknowledging here, and maybe that's why you don't get that voice notes can in fact be more inconvenient than texts.

I love a voice note - both giving and receiving. Much more meaningful than text and easy to listen to in WhatsApp. Each to their own though...

I don't see why it's such a problem to wait till you have quiet to listen to a message. Why does that need 'sorting'? Just listen when you have time. If that's longer than the sender wanted, if it's urgent they'll contact you again (maybe call or text this time) and if it isn't they'll wait.