Family member sells gifts on Vinted - what would you do?

[LeChiffre26]

My SIL sells gifts we have given her and her family on Vinted. We take time and thought with gifts. It's disheartening to see this. She does not need the money! What would you do? Let her know you have seen them? Just stop giving gifts? Just give her any old thing?

Stop buying adults gifts

Waste of time, effort and money

Love this, dying to know what she said when you gave it her again at Christmas!

I am glad we still spent time, effort and £ on each other.
This year I got a lovely jigsaw, some dupe perfume, a meat thermometer, toiletries and some homemade chutney. All very welcome and appreciated.

Would you rather they held onto something they don’t want? I’ve sold a Lego set (present from uncle) on marketplace for my daughter because it was a big botanicals set which she’s done plenty of but she finds them boring as they are so quick to make. She’s used the money to buy another set instead

Personally? I ask people what they want. Then I get that. Even better if they send links.

And did that come to more than you spent on them, or the same?

Sorry OP, haven't read the thread but my immediate reaction is to buy the item you gifted to her. Imagine her reaction when she sees who is buying it . Then, gift it to her next year.

Oh, I haven't thought about it.
I'd say for about 1/2 the gifts the £ was reciprocated and the others were from my children (one adult, one teenager) and I definitely spent more on them.

A receiver’s point of view
What else would she do with the gifts she obviously doesn’t need or want? yes she could give them to charity or she could recuperate some of the money and buy herself something she really wants .
No brainer here.
Ask her what she wants rather that you deciding . It happens to me all the time, I feel so guilty but when £100 is spent on me on gifts that are chosen for me then it’s a waste of the person’s money and also I’ve lost out on a birthday Xmas gift . Little token gifts I have no issue with,

I feel so ungrateful but then all is needed by the bearer is , “is there anything you need or want for your birthday, can I put some money towards” or if it’s someone close to you, shall we go shopping and you can choose a gift from em ? You then get to spent time with that person as well as a gift that you really want from me. If you know where they shop, get a gift voucher instead. There are lots of vouchers that you can spend in different shops .

Can relate.
It's like when you mention you love a certain animal, they then make it a mission to find all manner of things with said animal on it.

Liking dolphins doesn't mean I want a dolphin mug, bath mat with baby dolphins, cushions with dolphin heads, dolphin slippers or a dolphin notepad!

Should have said something the second time it happened, but didn't actually think there'd be more themed gifts. Also didn't want to come across as ungrateful.

Sorry OP, had to get that out.

As others have said, vouchers or ask.

Match her energy next Christmas. Get her a gift voucher. Or better yet, call her out.
"Hi SIL, we've learnt that you've been selling some unwanted gifts on Vinted. How about we all save ourselves the trouble and just do cards moving forward?"

I'll be doing the same with my BIL. I went to quite a bit of effort to put together a gift I knew he'd like. He got me a small box of chocolates from a brand I've never expressed any interest in before. Definitely less than a tenner, and while I only spent about £20, he makes a 6-figure salary, which I certainly don't!
I've already started a note on my phone of ideas for gifts, and have made a note under his name to that effect.

She probably just doesn’t like the gifts, maybe it is time to switch (agree) to token presents… actually did evil Santa at our Christmas thing so people only had to buy one gift /avoid wastage

what exactly did you buy her ?
I have sold gifts online - already put a few up this year all ready. luckily this year we didn't get as much stuff as last year and we actually appreciate that
I love my best friend but she does buy stuff i don't need. I siad before Xmas I have done a huge clearout and am not buying any make up or beauty stuff this year to use up what I have. what did I get - a lovely set of face stuff of what I do like but currently have multiple of items all ready so wouldn't be used for ages at all. I would have preferred a lunch together but life is too busy her side at mo unfortunately.
my sis in law buys stuff for the house for us every year but stuff we don't need or want or would use. last year was a set of placemats ( that didn't match our decor nor our taste) this year was a fancy cheesboard set with knifes and all my husband is allergic to milk. all lovely gifts and expensive unfortunately though no use to us so all sold 🤷‍♀️
we have moved a good few times in the past couple of years due to renting now finally in our own home. moving makes you realise how much stuff you have I am still clearing out nearly a year later
both families now do kris kindle. you buy for one person and there is a limit. on my side we used an app and you could list what you wanted. I listed for both me and my husband vouchers. it was great he got some new shoes he needed with the vouchers and I am building up mine to buy something I have my eye on later on.
so we have things needed and wanted
my sis family more direct you actually put links in what you want. so she got a book new make up and a paire of runners. not much cost but exactly what she wanted and needed
she also states for her kids - though ignored by his side if family- no toys for Xmas vouchers for shoes and clothes and a small book or something instead.
Xmas is expensive enough as it is but people don't want loads or stuff. they want something meaningful or even your time

I would just buy her & her family a big box of chocolates going forward, nothing else.

Make her a low ball offer on Vinted in a passive aggressive pro move 🤭

Tell her you're donating the money you'd spend on her to charity ❤️

I would mention to her that I knew what she was doing and consequently would be stopping buying gifts.
Sounds like you’re putting a great deal of thought into their gifts and it’s a bit of a slap in the face to then find that she’s flogging them on Vinted. She’s a CF!

That would certainly resolve the selling on.

Once you’ve given the gift it’s no longer your business what they do with it.

i sometimes sell things on Vinted and I don’t need the money either. Mostly, with unwanted gifts, I regift them.

i can see how this is upsetting for you given the time and thought you’d put in but I don’t think I’d let it bother me, just change what I’d do in the future, I think I’d save myself stress and either ask directly what they’d like, or give a gift voucher instead. I wouldn’t stop giving gifts, just because I didn’t like what they did with them.

I think the comments re calling her out on Vinted are nasty. What about the fact that you are watching her account? Does she know that? Surely secretly watching what she is selling is unacceptable?
What do you want her to do with the presents that she doesn't want? Do you want her to just keep them unused cluttering up a cupboard? Next Christmas either suggest that you stop presents or ask her what she would like.

I’m just sorting out my Christmas gifts to list on Vinted/Charity shop. Money/gift vouchers is the way to go.

I’m sorry I ever mentioned liking Ferrero Rocher/Emma Bridgewater. I’ve currently got 10 boxes of the chocs in the cupboard and loads of mugs I just won’t use.

I am sick of gift vouchers. Usually it is not enough money for something I would buy or is at a restaurant where it is difficult to get a booking or they run out before I have had chance to ho. I don’t see the point of them, I would rather have nothing. I have £500 worth all for different places in small amounts it will cost me over a grand to use them bearing in mind cost of dinner or tickets. I will give them away but it would have been better imo for the giver to have given money to charity.

When my SIL did this with the kids presents, I just sent a small token cash gift. So much easier and much cheaper!

Let’s just hope my mother doesn’t go to the local charity shop. Every year it’s the same bloody thing. I’ve said in the past not to, but she’s bloody stubborn, so it’s on her.

No children in our family as such now. For my Brother and his son they get cash in a card. Parents get a voucher each, job done.

I think parents and children is a separate issue

But cousins/in-laws/brothers/sisters etc just gets out of hand and produces lots of stuff no one really wants