Sick of comments about how I eat :( does anyone else do this?

[upstairsdownstairscardboardbox]

I will start by saying I am a size 8, 5 foot 2 woman with no ED and no issues with over or under eating at all. I am very healthy at 50, and happy but am looking for others similar so I can better understand my eating.

I grew up in a very large family by usual UK standards. I was the only girl with 14 brothers. Food was basic, nutritious. A lot of boiled floury potatoes and bread and butter etc. Treats were few and far between but arrived all at once in abundance. So no fruit for months then 30 unripe peaches my dad snagged from a farmer type of thing, or the raspberries we grew came to fruit all on one day. Never any sweets or chocolate bought in but I'd make a cake and we'd eat it before it cooled etc. We were ravenous and constantly looking for opportunities to blag food, we'd even take our cute youngest brothers all clean and smart with picked wild flowers to the neighbours to blag kitkats and jaffa cakes -god what must they have thought 😂

Does anyone else struggle to eat slowly and put the cutlery down between bites, chatting and well, being civilised. I do this, of course, but feel like I am being restrained and I do not really enjoy meals as a consequence.

If I eat alone or have a sandwich in front of the TV with DH or DC I eat really quickly and then I thoroughly enjoy it. My fav is to put whole things in my mouth and this has started to attract bemused comments from adult DC who have apparently never need another living sole (other than my bros) put a whole chocolate in their mouth at once or eat a whole profiterole in one. A bag of crisps eaten politely I always refuse, but alone, when I can stuff them all in my mouth in 3 goes I enjoy little more.

I know I am odd, it's ok, I am happy as I am and make myself behave well enough to get invited to fancy restaurants and parties, but I think this eating came from my competitive childhood and wondered if anyone else had the same?

Thanks for reading my waffling on!

I am curious now. That is very very unusual to have that many children, was it for religious reasons (if you don't mind my asking!?)

I can often feel like I eat fast, but actually I think my husband and his family eat incredibly slowly. His parents have got worse as they’ve got older.

In my case it’s pretty much because me a my brother would race to get second helpings. We were incredibly hungry, tall, skinny, sporty teenagers.

On my own I can demolish a sandwich in seconds 😂

You sound like my Labrador!

My friend projectile vomited in a fancy restaurant. I think I'd be tempted to do the same if anyone bitched about what/how I eat -not that I have poor manners.

I was youngest with 6 brothers and I still work hard not to inhale my food. I also still have the urge to eat all the goodies the day of shopping as if you waited the better food would be gone in 1-2 days. We had mostly healthy wholesome food but a box of cereal purchased on Saturday was gone by Sunday afternoon.

I also noticed that even today in my late 50's if I'm eating w/one of my brothers I instinctively circle my arm around my plate. Several of my brothers would regularly take food off my plate as a child and we all ate with an arm around our own plate. They were like hungry wolves.

I remember my father once bought a stand freezer and a side of beef -what he estimated to be 3 months of meat was gone in a few weeks, brothers would defrost and cook and eat entire roasts in the night with their friends. He never bought meat in bulk again 😂

I don't eat like an animal but still am always first done at the table tho I try hard to slow down, put my fork down, take drinks etc. I understand exactly what you're describing.

Only 3 brother here but yeah, you ate fast or you didn’t eat, Sunday dinner was a race to see who could blag one of the spare Yorkshire puddings. Everything came in packs of 4 and there were 6 of us in the house so we were either 2 short or there were 2 left over for the first ones to nab them. Mum was a big fan of cooking up a pile of food and putting it in the middle of the table for everyone to help themselves so there were some foods like roast potatoes where if you weren’t the first to serve you had very little chance of getting any.

Hi @upstairsdownstairscardboardbox
Having read all your posts, but not everything else on the thread, could I just ask whether any of this bothers you ? Are you happy with your fast eating with your family and, I guess, preferring to avoid eating with other people or in a restaurant, if at all possible? I would imagine there is probably some kind of CBT type therapy could help you eat slower and enjoy food that way more, but that would be pointless if you are happy as you are.

I also was a skinny little kid, like really small for my age, with no fat on me to be found, my sister was quite a bit bigger and we had to always finish our plate, I hated that, so as an adult,mi serve all meals on the table, buffet style, and you take what you want. And I mean all. Even soup gets brought in the pan and dished out! I am weird, but its just my way now

To me it's odd that you eat quickly when alone and there's no chance of someone taking your food.

I would have thought being able to take your time would be a treat!

I'm sure some childhood habits can be hard to break but they often naturally change with the passing of time & different circumstances.

I don't enjoy eating quickly/feeling rushed.

I bite chocolates in half.

I don't care if others do or don't though.

I can't fit a whole profiterole in though!

Several of my brothers would regularly take food off my plate as a child

I think it's awful that they were allowed to do this.

@diddl I eat fast now when I am alone because I enjoy it, I cannot imagine anyone stealing my food these days

😂DC and DH are weirdly protective of me and when I recently had an OP they were the first to the buffet to get the best of everything for me and putting themselves second, it was very sweet and kind.

It was actually better as when I go up myself my temptation is to take ham bread and cheese and make a big inelegant sandwich - I DON'T! I pick away like all polite people, but when DC got my plate the temptation was removed and I felt less deprived 😂😂

So do I. This nonsensical idea that boys need more food than girls and are allowed to jostle to get it. Not very gentlemanly, is it?

Mealtimes are when families are forced to sit in close proximity to one another. It's a known trope that arguments happen over meals, along with the 'this is where you will be trained to be a civilised human being' narrative - and if there's a less than happy atmosphere, the need to get the food down, be invisible and escape out of range of scrutiny, uncomfortable questions, being forced to have conversations and outright criticism (not even going to go further than noting that being within physical reach also puts some people within hitting distance) becomes foremost in the mind.

And then there's being able to retreat and actually eat without being commented upon, judged and criticised.

My ex believed that women should sit and nibble a single biscuit for at least 20 minutes a time and that at least 45% of any meal should be left with a 'oh, I can't possibly eat a single morsel more' after picking at it for at least 35 minutes because it was 'ladylike' and 'what good families do', along with drinking alcohol from lunchtime (I don't think people who do that tend to include multiple 500ml cans of lager, but he did). But his mother taught him it was expected of women to be like that, so I suppose his firmly entrenched misogyny wasn't entirely of his own doing.

@ABeerInTheSunshineMakesMeHappy I am very happy as I am. I feel for 7 of my DB who like PP have struggled with weight as a result of the same stimulus. 11 of them are pre diabetic 😬It's so hard to show restraint when you can get 24 pastries at Costco for £9.99. I think modern life as we live it now is a recipe for disaster and I am happy and grateful that I can limit and have what I suppose are "mini binges" where overall my sugars/cals stay low and don't effect my health.

My son fell in love with his now wife due to her loving food so much. He said he’d have an eating partner for life. Are they the size of elephants? No. They’re both very slim and healthy, very active, but my goodness can they eat.

I eat fast now when I am alone because I enjoy it,

That's fine then!

If you didn't I would think it was subconsciously eating fast just in case it was taken iyswim.

My eldest ds and myself are slow eaters my youngest ds (24) omg, gone in seconds. I think that when he was younger he was just desperate to get back out to play so he rushed it and this has carried on till adulthood even though he doesn't play outside with his pals anymore 😂

@upstairsdownstairscardboardbox Does anyone else struggle to eat slowly and put the cutlery down between bites, chatting and well, being civilised. I do this, of course, but feel like I am being restrained and I do not really enjoy meals as a consequence.

Why would I stop eating my dinner for no reason? If I'm at the table and there's food in front of me, I'm going to eat it. So I would actually think it's more strange and unusual to randomly stop eating in the middle of a meal.

My fav is to put whole things in my mouth and this has started to attract bemused comments from adult DC who have apparently never need another living sole (other than my bros) put a whole chocolate in their mouth at once or eat a whole profiterole in one. A bag of crisps eaten politely I always refuse, but alone, when I can stuff them all in my mouth in 3 goes I enjoy little more.

I like shoving food in my mouth too, but you just have to be careful with this, as indeed there have been cases of people dying due to shoving too much food in their mouth at once and choking.

@NeverDropYourMooncup DH says the opposite - enthusiastic eating shows and appreciation and appetite for pleasure which is sexy 😳

I'm the same size as you and I also eat very quickly but there's no reason for it except that I'm greedy and not a very relaxed person. I don't enjoy eating quickly though and feel sad when I've finished my meal because I didn't savour it.

My dad also ate quickly so maybe it's genetic!

Just like you in my table manners, it was how we grew up. As kids we were hungry and The Parents were cash poor but asset-rich. We had a big garden which my gm tended with love, she had a very large veg patch, an equally large fruit patch and we had at least 6 apple trees right at the bottom. So we had lots of lovely fresh veg, fruit in season, very nutritious. Bread and meat, butter etc severely curtailed but if we got hungry between meals mum would suggest we go and pull a carrot - it’s not that filling.

DD is appalled by me at meals, and she and dh both now pretend that they can’t understand anything I say unless my mouth is absolutely completely and utterly empty before I even voice “mm hmm” through closed lips (I’m exaggerating a little but not much). Dh used to marvel at how my family managed to talk all through a meal without even seeming to eat and yet always finished before anyone else. I’ve not changed, but have to try. It used to be that if I did have a mouthful and dh was pronouncing on something, then he’d at least understand “mmm ‘ang on”, but no longer! Yes, he’s gaslighting or something, but it’s pretty mild and is,probably good for me to try a bit harder.

It does mean that food can get cold before you’ve finished though 🥲

Who is making the comments then? I thought you said it was your DH and children but then your later posts suggest they are fine with the way you eat.

DH is like you - he had two older brothers & they would & still are very competitive at the dinner table. Each trying to finish first so they can nab seconds etc.
DH regularly eats whole Crème Eggs, & seems to inhale his dinner & most other foods. I have to remind him that boxes of chocolates etc are for everyone & not just him, as otherwise he’d eat the lot. I put it down to his upbringing - his parents have encouraged it.
it does annoy me sometimes, especially when we’re out as he doesn’t try & slow it down.