If you notice your friend has lost some weight…

[XGiveMeStrengthX]

Friendly reminder folks:

Your comments will be very likely to make your friend feel judged.

It’s bloody hard shifting significant amounts of weight and takes calorie restriction along with consistent exercise. This is regardless of whether they have used weight-loss drugs.

So, be a supportive friend.
You really don’t need to comment unless invited.
If they don’t ask for your opinion, then keep it to yourself.
It’s rude to talk about other people’s weight loss or gain for that matter.

Thanks 🙏

I wonder if men feel judged their whole lives in quite the same way? Hope your DH saw the funny side too.

Real friendship isn’t just about honesty or curiosity; it’s about empathy**

I’m talking about the other direction: not keeping it secret that you’re taking steps to lose weight and expecting your friends to ignore the results.

I suspect it was a cultural difference and she thought it was an acceptable thing to comment on my weight gain. Despite the fact she was someone I'd barely known 10yrs earlier and simply worked in the same building with.

"You look nice"
"That colour looks great on you"
"Wow, have you had your hair done? Looks fab"
"Looks like you've been working out, your arms are really toned"
"Your arse looks fab in those jeans" (I'd say that to my friend of 45 years and my sisters).

All personal, all about appearance.

Indeed. My closest friend sent me a concerned text msg a day after we'd had dinner together. She gently asked about my low weight and eating.
She was right. I was under the care of the eating disorder team at the time. It was difficult, but I absolutely wasn't offended.

Met a friend the other night, she looked great which I told her. Later she told me she lost 2 stone on WLI. I just said again that she looked really well

All things to say to an acquaintance. A friend you know

I wish I kept my mouth shut when I noticed a family member had lost weight. He has cancer but i I had no idea. Wish I had never said it 😔

I absolutely agree, op! If you want people to comment on your weight, tell them. I hate people talking about my weight and I’ve just lost about 5 stone. I find it embarrassing, patronising-I had no be woman say “good girl” and another say that I was much prettier now. Don’t say anything unless invited to.

If it's not due to a medical issue or grief etc, then I'd be gutted if I put lots of effort into weightloss for nobody to mention it.
It doesn't have to be "whoaaaa, you look great!" Just something to acknowledge it

Amen!

Then bring it up in conversation. Signal that you welcome comments. People aren’t psychic.

I’ve lost 3 stone this year and apart from my family, only 1 friend has commented on it. I don’t want a big fuss but I would love it if people noticed. It makes me feels like all the hard work isn’t noticeable. Maybe I’m weird…but I really do want people to say something.

I’m sorry - how is this rude?

Just last week someone was on here complaining that no-one has commented on her weight loss after working really hard.

Some even suggested friends were perhaps jealous!

So which one is it - shut up or compliment?

It’s shut up. if people want praise for losing weight then they can bring it up in conversation.

@activetoday just bring it up and draw attention to it if you want the attention.

Shut up. If someone wants compliments on theur body, they need to signal those are welcome.

People are quite mad about weightloss. I kept getting compliments from people about having lost a lot of weight some years ago, even after I’d told them it was because of cancer. Like it was worth the chemo to hsve gone down several dress sizes.😱

Compliment if it's a friend you know has been trying to lose weight. Shut up if it's an acquaintance who you've no idea of they want compliments or why they are losing weight. Some of these comments on here make me think some people have no friends, only acquaintance s.

I don't think you can make a blanket statement, as many people WOULD like their weight loss acknowledged.

I've appreciated people noticing my weight loss, but I don't like them saying it in front of other people... just a one on one is fine and not to make a big deal about it.

I find it motivating when you're trying to lose weight, to have people notice. It doesn't dominate the conversation.

It's rude in YOUR opinion.
I don't find it rude when people mention my weight loss. I definitely wouldn't bring up my weight loss first, as that seems like bragging to me, so I'd wait for them to notice and comment.

What you and the OP think is your preference...NOT FACT... and other grown adults really don't need online strangers telling them how to interact with their friends.

I think it depends on your relationship with the person. For some people it's okay to comment and can be encouraging. If they're not a really close friend though, probably best not to say anything.

I think it’s ok to say if your friend has previously spoken about being on a diet. Otherwise it’s best not to..

people who are wanting others to comment need to just bring up the topic themselves

personally I find it rude like they are saying they thought I looked crap before but didn’t say anything then

I think that since everyone is on wli you can't really say "well done" anymore. Or it would be "well done" for seeking medical assistance to help you with your weight. Whereas before people who wanted to lose weight struggled because it was down to will power.

I don’t like anyone talking to me about my body.
Ive lost a lot of weight and acknowledge it’s noticeable. I don’t appreciate anyone bringing it up. It’s not anyone else’s business and no one brought up when I was fat that I had put weight on most likely because they thought that would be rude. People think it’s complimentary commenting on losing weight reinforcing that thinness deserves praise. I lost weight for health reasons, blood pressure, stroke risk factors run very high in my family.

I would be a bit put out if someone in the office announced that I had lost a lot of weight which is great as I used to be a bit of a porker!!
That is completely different to discussing my weight with close friends, or them commenting on it, in exactly the same way as we do about lots of things. I actually found it very odd that she said nothing seeing as we have been friends for 40 years.