If you notice your friend has lost some weight…

[XGiveMeStrengthX]

Friendly reminder folks:

Your comments will be very likely to make your friend feel judged.

It’s bloody hard shifting significant amounts of weight and takes calorie restriction along with consistent exercise. This is regardless of whether they have used weight-loss drugs.

So, be a supportive friend.
You really don’t need to comment unless invited.
If they don’t ask for your opinion, then keep it to yourself.
It’s rude to talk about other people’s weight loss or gain for that matter.

Thanks 🙏

Years ago I went from ten stone down to nine stone and my cousin told me I’d lost a ton weight. Bloody rude!

I think I’m going to just stop talking to people at all… according to this forum pretty much any innocuous small talk can offend someone, somewhere.

Ok then @Smartiepants79 👍

I've spent the last year grieving - and it's my weight loss everyone bloody talks about.

It's not innocuous @Smartiepants79 it's lazy and thoughtless.

Jeez! I thought it would be appreciated if I’d noticed! Losing weight is not easy (unless you’re unwell and hadn’t been trying)

What is safe to talk about with friends these days?!!

Some people post on MN complaining that people don't sayanything when they have lost significant weight.

On a sidenote ; it's not hard to lose weight with the wli. That's why everyone who has tried before and never been able to suddenly arrive to shed weight. It takes away the food noise, you are not hungry and have to remind yourself to eat. Even if you eat crap and don't exercise you will lose weight because you eat so little. So not hard at all.

Just to offer a different side to this (which I do recognize is good advice and what I have always done, not mentioned it!)

Ive lost almost 4 stone in the last year and could count on 1 hand the number of people who have commented! I feel like I look significantly different and wish people would comment, but they are all being too polite and have not! 🤣

Nah. All you need to do is not make personal remarks about someone's appearance.

I dunno actually as I’ve lost 45 pounds since may last year and no one’s mentioned it at all. Which makes me feel like it’s not noticeable. All that hard work and not one compliment!. But yeah i don’t comment on peoples weight as you never know the reasons behind it I suppose

I had cancer a few years back and lost weight.

The amount of people saying "you look great now, don't lose any more though" as if it was my choice was absolutely mental.

I never comment on weight loss unless the person mentions it first.

This! Also @XGiveMeStrengthX have you not seen the multitude of “HOW DARE PEOPLE NOT COMMENT ON MY WEIGHTLOSS!!! They’re sooo jealous!!”

I don’t get this.
if I had worked really hard to lose weight I would really appreciate a comment from a friend (or even an acquaintance) to say they had noticed.

My best friend has struggled with an eating disorder all her adult life which she herself attributes to comments about her weight as a teen (negative when she initially gained followed by positive when she lost). I would never ever comment on someone's weight uninvited no matter how sure I think I might be about whether or not they're happy about it, I just think it fuels society's simplistic "fat sad and unhealthy, thin happy and successful" narrative.

If I lose weight this year people better notice and tell me!

If you can’t think of a topic of conversation that doesn’t involve comments on their weight, I’d be rethinking either your friendships or your conversational skills.

I’m sorry for your loss @Timeforabiscuit💛

Exactly @DoNotDerange!!
It’s really not hard is it?

And you can let them know that 👍

This is what I was going to say.

The OP isn't the spokesperson for everyone whose managed to lose weight.

I'll hazard a guess that MN posters know their own friends better than the OP does.

Yep. As well as making women in particular, feel judged no matter what they do!

I think you have to know your friend. One of my friends has worked bloody hard and lost 6st (she still has more to go). She was really upset that some of our close friends have never mentioned it. To her it feels like they are “not acknowledging one of the biggest achievements of her adult life”, those are her words not mine.

I have also lost a noticeable amount of weight and it doesn’t bother me either way. Some acknowledge it which is fine, others don’t, also fine. I have noticed that less people comment than I had thought would. I wondered if it was political correctness and not wanting to objectify people 🤷🏻‍♀️

Really @DoNotDerange - for the vast majority of people I know, losing weight and staying healthy is something to be proud of. Not mentioning something positive would be seen as rude. It obviously wouldn’t be the topic of conversation for the whole time that we’re together.

I am slightly overweight and am trying to shed a few lbs. I would be disappointed if nobody notices and mentions it once I’ve achieved this.

You don't speak for everyone, OP.

I'm a part of other online WLI communities and rarely a day goes by without someone complaining that nobody has noticed and commented on their weight loss.

And there's plenty more people (like me) who don't care either way, and certainly don't feel judged.

ETA: I just saw your comment about 'women in particular'. My (male) partner is losing weight with me, and has received FAR more comments despite having lost less than I have.

I would never comment on someone’s weight loss (or gain). You don’t know the reasons behind it and wouldn’t want to make them uncomfortable. I’d only ask if they brought it up themselves.
and just to add, it is noticed, but again not my place to comment.

It can also be cultural.

Many people from different cultures have absolutely no problem talking about weight gain or loss.

It's not taboo for everyone.