Page 5 | Do you have sex in the house with your DH when kids around?

Bigfatglasses · 2025-12-30T05:33:15+00:00

We did when the kids were very little but haven’t done for years. I remember walking in on my parents at it in their bedroom when I was about 6 and DH did on his parents too when he was 10 or 11. As a result, we never have done - only when kids out or we on a kid-free weekend away. I am told this is not normal? Normal to me though - but my kids are all away at uni now so we are making up for lost time!

Kickinthenostalgia · 30/12/2025 23:08

Always at night, never in the day and we always made sure dc were asleep beforehand. I walked in on my parents when I was about 11, scarred for life… 😂 I obviously don’t want to scar dc, now they are older they’ve always knocked since they were about 8/9. But I also not sacrificing my sex life either 😂

whattheysay · 30/12/2025 23:09

We always have because when they were little we went away from them very much at all and now they are grown there’s always someone around when we’re at home together so we do it when they are sleeping. We wedge the door shut and we are silent as I would hate if they heard us. If we didn’t have sex when they were in the house we probably would have done it about 10 times in the 25 years we have had the children

falalalalaaaah · 30/12/2025 23:13

Diamondsbutnoknickers · 30/12/2025 23:06

We have always had a "if the door is closed, knock" policy and try to be quiet and when the children are sleeping/busy. Never outside our room if they are home.

I've posted about it before. My parents used to have loud sex and/or sex everywhere in the house (including on my bed). They'd also insist on having sex in the shower which was on a very thin wall next to my bedroom and once in a tent we were all sharing. I lost count of the amount of times I heard/walked in on them.

It is absolutely disgusting and they should be ashamed of it.

The irony is that we werent allowed in their room and would never have dared gone in uninvited so it's not like they didnt have privacy.

It really messed me up sex wise and I have a lot of hang ups and anxiety about it even now. I'm really angry with them.

I dealt with similar as a child.
I hate it when people minimise the trauma it causes.
It made me have a really bad view of men and sex for years.

mondaytosunday · 30/12/2025 23:15

This is not normal - I mean do you go years without having sex? We had sex with young kids and teenagers in the house. We don’t have locks on the doors.

freakingscared · 30/12/2025 23:22

Yes I do it with the kids in the house , we do it mostly at night after kids are asleep or early morning but no way would I go without sex for massive periods of time simply because we have kids . I’m sure people can control how noisy they are .

GeorgeBeckett · 30/12/2025 23:28

I don’t think it’s normal to only ever do it if they’re away. That would be very infrequent.

Ours are little but at the weekend they are allowed to go downstairs and have breakfast and watch TV whilst Mum and Dad have a lie in. It’s their little treat and slice of independence and they love it. We’ll hear them coming upstairs with enough time to throw the duvet over.

MidnightMusing5 · 30/12/2025 23:28

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz · 30/12/2025 21:23

You said you walked in on your own parents… and it’s not hog deal if children see their parents have sex.

pp is right that it could be classed as abuse to expose children to sex. Obviously if it’s a pure accident, then you can’t flagellate yourself or you’ll make it worse. But making no effort to prevent is problematic.

Not trying to come across as sanctimonious here, but children shouldn’t be exposed to adults having sex.

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A local foster carer told me her two of her foster kids (siblings) were in her care because mother was having sex infront/ in ear shot of the children so yes it is child abuse.

Thepossibility · 31/12/2025 02:49

Of course we do. We bought a door wedge for this purpose. We don't get to go away without the kids so otherwise we'd be celibate.

Blizzardofleaves · 31/12/2025 04:45

It’s really tricky. I wouldn’t want to embarrass my teens/afuit dc so we are very considerate, there’s someone at home more often than not, and it is awkward finding the time and space to be romantic, and the energy!

Blizzardofleaves · 31/12/2025 04:46

Children or teens listening to sex is absolutely child abuse.

StarlightLady · 31/12/2025 07:50

Younger of 2 sisters here. Looking back, l heard my parents from time to time. They are both deceased now, but l came from a loving home and my mum was the one some of my best friends turned to for support when they felt they couldn’t confide in their own parents. They also had a lock on their bedroom door and, when locked, we were taught not to disturb unless an emergency.

ln my later teens they also respected my privacy and that of my sister. They knew we were both on the pill.

l had friends that were far more damaged by parents constantly arguing and shouting.

Sunshineandgrapefruit · 31/12/2025 07:53

Yes because it's part of normal daily life. If we waited until no kids were around we would never do it and that's not good for a relationship.

Sunshineandgrapefruit · 31/12/2025 07:57

Obviouslykeeping it down and not anywhere they are going to walk in on.

whattheysay · 31/12/2025 08:21

Diamondsbutnoknickers · 30/12/2025 23:06

We have always had a "if the door is closed, knock" policy and try to be quiet and when the children are sleeping/busy. Never outside our room if they are home.

I've posted about it before. My parents used to have loud sex and/or sex everywhere in the house (including on my bed). They'd also insist on having sex in the shower which was on a very thin wall next to my bedroom and once in a tent we were all sharing. I lost count of the amount of times I heard/walked in on them.

It is absolutely disgusting and they should be ashamed of it.

The irony is that we werent allowed in their room and would never have dared gone in uninvited so it's not like they didnt have privacy.

It really messed me up sex wise and I have a lot of hang ups and anxiety about it even now. I'm really angry with them.

That is awful I’m sorry you had to endure that, we are paranoid about the children hearing us and I can’t imagine deliberately doing that to children. I do very much think if parents do things like that it’s abuse.

Maryberrysbouffant · 31/12/2025 08:38

This thread reminds me of a friend who crept into her parents room late at night to get something (can’t remember what) and out of the corner of her eye in the darkness saw her dm on all fours on the bed and DF stood behind her…scarred for life 😂

Diamondsbutnoknickers · 31/12/2025 09:52

whattheysay · 31/12/2025 08:21

That is awful I’m sorry you had to endure that, we are paranoid about the children hearing us and I can’t imagine deliberately doing that to children. I do very much think if parents do things like that it’s abuse.

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They never did anything to me in the traditional sense which was why I was struggling to see what my issues were. I posted on here a while ago because there was lots of other gross stuff as well. People on here did feel it was abuse and that kind of helped me see it differently.

I'm not going to do anything about it. They'll deny it and nothing will be achieved.

My children have very limited contact with them anyway (I moved hundreds of miles away as soon as I could) so I dont feel like they will be exposed to it.

I'd be mortified if my children walked in on us/heard us and we do everything we can to avoid that. Hiwever I dont think it's the end of the world if they accidently did despite our best attempts. I think in my issue it's the amount and that they must have been getting off on it and their reaction when I did walk in on them having sex eg on the living room floor with everyone in the house.

Stressymadre · 31/12/2025 10:00

Do people think it changes things if one of the adults is not a parent (so a step mum or step dad)?

Stressymadre · 31/12/2025 10:01

I ask because I won't have sex with the kids in the house because my partner is not their dad and well, they go to their dad's EOW so we just make up for it then!!

Wynter25 · 31/12/2025 10:03

My partner is not kids dad but still have sex in the house. Obviously wait till bed time

Wynter25 · 31/12/2025 10:04

Stressymadre · 31/12/2025 10:00

Do people think it changes things if one of the adults is not a parent (so a step mum or step dad)?

No but my partner is a dad himself just not dad to my kids

Familystar · 31/12/2025 10:06

No way when the kids are in the house it can really traumatise them for years not worth the risk.

Lamentingalways · 31/12/2025 10:29

FlipFlopVibe · 30/12/2025 22:49

Would you have sex in front of a blind child, on account of them not being able to see it? No you wouldn’t (I hope), it’s inappropriate and there’s laws around exposing children to sexual acts

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There’s no law against having quiet sex in a locked bedroom whilst your children are awake ffs. I don’t appreciate you implying I’m some sort of deviant, fuck off.

Lamentingalways · 31/12/2025 10:31

Sunshineandgrapefruit · 31/12/2025 07:53

Yes because it's part of normal daily life. If we waited until no kids were around we would never do it and that's not good for a relationship.

Honestly, what are all these people talking about? Teenagers are awake until the early hours! Are they just in completely sexless relationships? Making out you’re some sort of weirdo for having quiet sex in your own locked room! Weirdos. No wonder half their husbands are fucking their colleagues.

ClawClip1 · 31/12/2025 10:32

Night or during the day while they are at school. and even then it’s not often at night. Teens are too aware

Fruitcakewithcheese · 31/12/2025 10:34

Familystar · 31/12/2025 10:06

No way when the kids are in the house it can really traumatise them for years not worth the risk.

I expect it's far more traumatic if their parents split as a result of a sexless marriage

Quietly behind a closed door is absolutely fine