Do we need titles Miss/Ms/Mrs/Mr etc?

[NuffSaidSam]

Do we still need these? Does anyone know what the purpose is?

I've just been asked by the TV license people and it's made me wonder if it's necessary anymore (the title, not the TV license).

I think I'd be happy to go without.

How about John Smith, xxx Surgeon, or Jane Smith, Physician?

It's complicated by the fact that unless a medic also has a PhD, the title is honorary and related to the job name. Surgeon or Physician does that just as well. Dr and Professor should be used for academics as far as I'm concerned, some of whome may also be medics, but the title relates to their academic achievement, not the role.

Agree. People just think this formality in schools is needed because it's always been that way. Nothing bad would happen if children called their teachers by their first names. In exactly the same way that making children wear ties to school when hardly any adults wear them to work is ridiculous and unnecessary.

Both a niece and a nephew in this family have PhDs (science but not medicine based) and neither uses the Dr title.

Waitrose lets you use Mx. I just found this interesting.

I do take your point about the Master/Mr thing. It is problematic that ‘Miss’, like ‘Master’, can sound like it refers to an under-18. I also gave no issue with people having the option to refuse to disclose their title in certain situations, especially if they have grounds to believe that will lead to discrimination. Sad if that is the case these days. I don’t agree with women having to hide the fact they are wives and/or mothers in the workplace.

Thank you for your kind comments about my education. I did work incredibly hard in the sense that nobody in my family had been to university, and I went to a secondary school which went into special measures ahead of me starting my GCSEs. We had to campaign hard to keep it open, there were no spaces at other local schools, so quite stressful! The teaching varied enormously, I taught myself the majority of my GCSE Chemistry at home using revision guides, as we didn’t have a consistent subject specialist for 2 years. I quickly realised I genuinely hadn’t been taught huge chunks of material, so needed to rectify that on study leave to keep my grade up. I was the only one to attend the excellent sixth form I did. Our secondary experience was make or break for lots of my friends sadly, especially those who were borderline C/Ds. I think some would have passed more at a different school.

I am hugely grateful I had the opportunity to attend university, I’m still studying now, it is appalling women ever weren’t allowed to. I think women should do whatever they want, whenever they want, when it best suits their lives and families.

I am proud of my academic achievements, but genuinely would rather have failed them all than have my DH and/or children feel I had failed them if that makes sense. I’d rather have my children. I do think striving to be a good spouse/parent/extended family member/community member is still something to be proud to try hard at, dedicate time and energy to, and do your best at. That’s all we can do, give our best.

But women don't have to display their marital status. They can call themselves Ms. So what's the problem? Yes, it was definitely highly sexist for women to have to display their marital status. Now we don't. We have the choice.

I think the judgement women heap on each other about this is absurd. There are reasons for being Ms and reasons for being Mrs. None of those reasons is entirely invalid - they are just differences in priorities. I don't base my assessment of what kind of person a woman is based on the title she uses. I'm a teacher, so my female colleagues and I are called by our titles umpteen times a day (often incorrectly, which is not a big deal). Often female teachers are just called 'Miss' (no surname). For some reason Mrs isn't used in the same way. It wouldn't remotely occur to me to even take an interest in which of my colleagues chose Ms or Mrs if they are married.

As a professional (corporate law) it has, for at least the 20 years that I have been practising, been entirely normal and respectful to address fellow lawyers and representatives of corporate clients by first name only, right from the first meeting.

As a consequence, if I am addressed by someone like a doctor or public official using my title I feel patronised, and if someone in retail etc uses my title it feels smarmy and salesy.

I’m very much in favour of abolishing them @NuffSaidSam .

I would eliminate all titles including professional - none are necessary. A woman certainly doesn’t needs to display through a title that she is married particularly when there isn’t a corresponding one for married men. You know whether you are married are not, no one else needs to know.

Happy to abolish them, though nominally I'm still Mrs. I stopped addressing letters and cards to Mr & Mrs (etc) X years ago in favour of first names, and no professional (e.g Dr) has called me by anything other than my first name for years (well, apart from when I've been called mum in company with my kids).

However I work in a school. Regardless of titles, every woman is addressed as Miss. I never bother to correct (nor care about it - I wouldn't mind if they used first names, personally, but it's not a thing).

I think regarding being chosen by a man as an achievement and something to be proud of and show off about is sad and regressive.

This is something I've changed my mind about over the years. I used to buy into all that nonsense, but now I hope titles which indicate marital status die out naturally eventually, even though I won't be around to see it.

As other posters have said, I was called ‘Miss’ regardless as a teacher by young children (as well as ‘teacher!’, mum, nana and even dad on occasion 😂). It didn’t bother me even when I was a Mrs.

That would be a good solution.

Having said I’m in favour of abolishing titles, I have no issue with forms of address prescribed by rank eg junior police officers or soldiers addressing a superior as Ma’am or Sir, or children calling their teacher Sir, Ms (pron Mizz) or Mr or Ms Smith. (I’d abolish anything that signified marital status).

(NB I would not include in this making nurses call Doctors Dr X while Dr X calls them Debbie, yuck.)

I like being a Mrs and I’ll always keep it unless I remarry.

I got married in hospital, dh died 8 days after and so being a Mrs and having his surname is very important to me

I totally get why people don’t though. It is patriarchal bullshit. I’m aware I sound hypocritical 🤣

I think that might also relieve the pressure many young women feel to settle. Oh, the ignominy of being late 20s in the late 80s and not being partnered.

Also, whilst I was happy to be Mrs His Name in 1991 and am acquiescent about it now, I'd chose to be Ms Roses Hellebores now and my dil doesn't have any truck with it and dd certainly won't. Friends who adopted their husband's name, I still address traditionally, newer friends or those who didn't, I address as John and Jane Smith. Times and traditions change.

Absolute nonsense.

You can talk to someone about the weather, your transaction, the shop you're in, the queues, your/their plans for the week ahead, or pay a compliment about their service/top/hairstyle all without needing to know their title or pronouns.
If you treat people differently because of the way you perceive them, that's a you issue.

When I’m asked if I’m Mrs or Miss I always say I don’t mind
seems to throw them a bit ( married but never took my husband’s name )

I like being a Mrs and I was happy being a Miss. I’m fine with titles thanks.

Whenever I am forced to answer a question that either makes fuck all difference, or is covered by the concept of equality, I tend to give a random choice.

Fuck 'em.

Why do you like now being a Mrs - does it make any difference to your life than if someone referred to you as Ms or Miss?

Whenever I have to pick a title for a form (only ever happens when ordering something from a UK based shop, which I rarely do now post-Brexit) I pick a random title.

Yes. Being called Ms irritates me.

I didn’t mind being called Miss when I wasn’t married. I don’t get called Miss now. It’s obvious from the rings on my finger that I am married.

I’ve been married nearly 30 years but have never worn rings (don’t like them) - I don’t need any identification that I’m married.

My children’s arrogant headteacher used to do this. He was a useless headteacher so I’m afraid I annoyed him by calling him Mr. Probably very rude of me. On the other hand tho my DH is a Dr and really doesn’t care if he’s called Mr or Dr. Doesn’t need the title to bolster what he lacks elsewhere.

My DC's headteacher's said "oh do call me Andrew/Jane". So of course I said "do call me Roses".

@Parker231, I suspect you are an outlier there. My wedding ring is very important to me and and I never take it off, despite wearing little jewellery generally.