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Original poster

Today I returned my husband's christmas gift-how would you feel?

151 replies

SootySweepAndSueToo · 27/12/2025 16:29

I need some perspective in this situation as I'm feeling quite emotional.

This christmas i bought my husband of 13 years a watch. Background: he loves watches, always looking at them online, when we go shopping we always have to stop and look in watch shops, he picks out ones he likes best. He's been having a rough time with work and car issues (nothing financial related and we're not struggiing thankfully) so I bought him a watch he'd picked out, I thought he deserved something nice to cheer him up. It's not super expensive but is a nice make.

On opening it, he saw the box and said "oh no". Throughout christmas day he kept saying he wouldn't wear it, he already has a watch, he doesn't like the leather straps etc. This carried on into boxing day when feeling a little upset I told him not to worry I'd return it which he agreed to. He even went to his parents to print off the return form, which I filled in, packaged it all up to take to the post office today. Today he states he didn't mean to upset me but wants to keep the watch however won't wear it. I've told him no, it's being returned he doesn't get to keep it just because he knows he's upset me.

I am upset but need some perspective, am I being too emotional about this? Was it a bad gift? How would you feel? Or do I need to get a grip?

OP posts:
Nanny0gg · 28/12/2025 20:28

ItsDarkNow · 27/12/2025 16:38

My husband got me earrings. They are lovely but I won’t wear them. I am planning to return them and get something else, he doesn’t mind in the slightest.

Were you rude about them?

No? There's the difference

Nanny0gg · 28/12/2025 20:29

He was rude

Well done for sending it back

PUGMEISTER21 · 28/12/2025 20:43

HewasH2O · 27/12/2025 16:32

I would definitely be hurt and would do the same as you & return it. He's taken all the leasure out of finding him something you thought he would really like.

I used to be my Ex-wife clothes for Xmas and she would never wear them and not take them back either which I was offended by. I would rather she took them back and got something she liked than just leave them gathering dust. Thats just a waste of money otherwise, go take it back but go find something together that he likes.

Interested in this thread?

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Christmas
Shade17 · 28/12/2025 20:48

Oldwmn · 28/12/2025 18:59

Wtf is it with men & watches? It's for telling the time with, end of. However, I am rather utilitarian.
You say he picked the watch. Why won't he wear it? I really don't understand any of this - smh

The last thing I use a watch for is telling the time. I’ve got a phone for that. I don’t even wear one day-to-day, they’re just nice to own and look at and handle. I select one to wear if I’m going out somewhere and just enjoy the way it feels.

August1980 · 28/12/2025 20:56

Hmm, I opened my gift - a pair of short black Barbour boots size 4 and tried them on. I didn’t like the way it looked on my feet re the front looked narrow and back looked wider - just out of proportion. Put them back in the box then and there and said I didn’t want them. He asked did you want a bigger a size, another colour - said no and that was that.

he isn’t upset I didn’t like his gift and I not upset he went off piste and bought something that wasn’t on my list… we have been married 10 years and been together 4 years before we married….honestly way too much drama for just a gift!!

Minjou · 28/12/2025 21:04

Rhaidimiddim · 27/12/2025 16:33

Get a grip. He thought he liked it, decided he didn't when he had it in his posession and actually having to image himself wearing it, then said so.

He didn't have to be such a dick about it though

exse24Londoner · 28/12/2025 21:44

SootySweepAndSueToo · 27/12/2025 16:29

I need some perspective in this situation as I'm feeling quite emotional.

This christmas i bought my husband of 13 years a watch. Background: he loves watches, always looking at them online, when we go shopping we always have to stop and look in watch shops, he picks out ones he likes best. He's been having a rough time with work and car issues (nothing financial related and we're not struggiing thankfully) so I bought him a watch he'd picked out, I thought he deserved something nice to cheer him up. It's not super expensive but is a nice make.

On opening it, he saw the box and said "oh no". Throughout christmas day he kept saying he wouldn't wear it, he already has a watch, he doesn't like the leather straps etc. This carried on into boxing day when feeling a little upset I told him not to worry I'd return it which he agreed to. He even went to his parents to print off the return form, which I filled in, packaged it all up to take to the post office today. Today he states he didn't mean to upset me but wants to keep the watch however won't wear it. I've told him no, it's being returned he doesn't get to keep it just because he knows he's upset me.

I am upset but need some perspective, am I being too emotional about this? Was it a bad gift? How would you feel? Or do I need to get a grip?

it sounds as though he was mighty clumsy. If he likes it then why did he not want to keep it - in any event, I would definitely return it but don't feel insulted. When Christmas is over & the heat gone from the subject, gently ask him what was going on for him - how did he feel about it & if he liked it then why didn't he want to keep it? I'd say its important that you don't feel emotional when you have this conversation

LHP118 · 28/12/2025 21:54

SparklyGlitterballs · 27/12/2025 16:36

I don't get it. Why does he spend so much time looking at watches online and picking out ones he likes if he doesn't actually want one?

Some individuals are like this. They may like things in theory, but not in practice. I got quite a few gifts wrong when I first knew my OH. Glad he was truthful. Imagine long-term relationships where 30 years down the line you're being bought things you'd never wear because you weren't truthful.

The issue is the way he acted. Reacted. No tact or empathy....

Mmmm19 · 28/12/2025 22:23

I can tactless like this (getting a bit better finally) due to getting really anxious that I feel guilty I don’t like it / already have similar and someone has wasted their money - I find it really hard to engage the other part of my brain that knows accepting it graciously is probably more important

Monty27 · 28/12/2025 22:34

Enjoy the refund, treat yourself to lunch with a pal.
He might learn some manners in the meantime, if you're lucky.

EvilNextDoor · 28/12/2025 23:21

A lot of drama over a watch.

My DH tries his best with presents but sometimes it doesn’t quite work, he’s never been upset when I’ve returned anything and vice versa. However I guess we just handle things differently and are not rude about it. He never buys me jewellery unless I am with him as I’m quite peculiar about what I like.

Puffins4eva · 29/12/2025 00:23

Get over it and move on .

changeme4this · 29/12/2025 04:41

I feel for you! In my early years with DH, I bought a limited edition autographed item of a team he followed. Cost what I think was a lot of money.

upon opening it, he declared it was the worst present he had ever received. His team lost that year, but at the time of ordering, no one was to know that. It was also part of a series he has (from me 🤦‍♀️).

it was around then I realised DH has no filters and I had to hardened up somewhat. I’ve given him some grief over his responses at times in the last 31 years. It’s been noted.

sending hugs. You did the right thing as you read it. There’s a sing about these types, goes along the lines of not knowing what you’ve got until it’s gone…

Tryingatleast · 29/12/2025 08:30

I’d ask him what’s the story? Why oh no? That seems like a weird reaction- this has got to be something else doesn’t it? Is that what you’re thinking l?

RavenPie · 29/12/2025 09:17

He’s being a twat about it. You both sound emotional - maybe because you have so much other stuff going on that this small thing is feeling like too much. He should have had a normal adult response to getting a bad gift - ie fake pleased and then maybe 27th “darling, I’ve been thinking - I really don’t think I’ll wear that watch so would it be ok to return? You don’t mind? I like it but….”
And you should have had a normal response to missing the mark. We all get bad gifts sometimes, and we all buy them. It’s not a big deal. Pp have mentioned witches and owls - my sil has a problem with elephants because she bought an elephant ornament in oxfam when she was a student in the ‘90s. Mine is cats. My DH (34 years knowing each other) regularly points out my “favourite” actress or “favourite” car or shows me nonsense adverts for jumpers or shoes saying “this is perfect for you!” Or insists I’ll like a tv series because I LOVED a different one, which I liked a normal amount. He has about a 40% hit rate and what he does get right I don’t necessarily want to own. We don’t have the same taste so we don’t always get it right despite being together since our teens. We do know to say “I thought about getting you this for Christmas” before committing and we do know you have basic manners and kindness towards each other. I think in an ideal world I would like a Hallmark Christmas where my family and friends spontaneously buy me the perfect gift and I get to watch their delighted faces as they unwrap the perfectly chosen surprise gifts I’ve bought for them but in reality I don’t have a Hallmark family - I have a bonded group of delightfully flawed ever changing individuals with evolving tastes, needs, and desires who are allowed to casually say “that one is nice” or “the one in the end is my favourite” in a casual, non-committal way that doesn’t cascade into a “but you said…” argument or disappointment.

coolcahuna · 29/12/2025 09:24

He's handled that so badly. There are ways to do this..a discreet word a few days later without the gift giver been made to feel terrible. My brother doesn't like any gifts I've ever given him so I've stopped now, pointless!

Pushmepullu · 29/12/2025 09:51

Sometimes the thought of having something is more exciting than actually having it.

HairyToity · 29/12/2025 09:54

I'd return it too. We don't buy each other gifts, we just choose our own treats as and when. Christmas is an expensive time of year, and we spend it on kids rather than each other.

BatsInHibernation · 29/12/2025 10:05

When I read it, I felt like he was worried about the money you had spent. What did he get you?
Has he definitely not got any concerns regarding money? He was VERY keen to get it returned.
You said he has car worries but they are not financial. Maybe he is worried the car is going to wipe him out a bit, or he needs a new one.

CluelessAboutBiology · 29/12/2025 10:17

@SootySweepAndSueToo Return the watch asap, then decide if you are going to:
a) buy him a replacement gift for a similar value
b) buy him a gift for a substantially lower value
c) keep the money and spend it on yourself

optional extra gift - buy him a book about manners.

@NomNomNominativeDeterminism genius

@DemonsandMosquitoesI had the opposite a couple of Christmases ago. I was hoping for an expensive hot chocolate maker, possibly the same brand as you’re referring to. I got a poxy air fryer, despite never having expressed an interest in them. I hid my disappointment though, and thanked him.

BunnyLake · 29/12/2025 17:44

I’d have to just be philosophical about it I think. I’d be more pissed off than upset at his performative watch gazing in shop windows. I wouldn’t be joining him in that anymore!

Abracadabra12345 · 29/12/2025 19:01

My DH is rubbish at choosing gifts but there again, I’m very picky as it’s for my hobby. He has his own serious hobby and is picky too. So if I’m out and see something I love but can’t justify the cost, I’ll buy it and charge it to his account and he’ll stash it away to giftwrap. He does the same though usually it’s something he sees online. By the time Christmas comes, we’ve often forgotten what we’ve chosen so it’s a surprise.

Neither is disappointed and we are guaranteed to love our gift! 😁

My AC on the other hand are great at choosing presents though I will give suggestions if they ask and I always ask them. Why have unwanted tat and disappointment?

I think the watches socks are a winner for next year, OP, and perhaps ask him for suggestions/ links so it doesn’t happen again?

PorridgeEater · 30/12/2025 15:58

Somewhat puzzling that you said you bought him a watch he'd picked out but then he really didn't want it - not sure what happened there.
His reaction was disappointing (if a little too honest) but it's not worth keeping something he doesn't want - you were right to return it

Rictasmorticia · 30/12/2025 16:27

Following all the many threads on this subject over Christmas, gave me courage to give back the box of chocolates my son gave me. I did it politely and he was fine about it.

MeanWeedratStew · 30/12/2025 20:02

You can dislike a gift without being a twat about it. He chose to be a twat and has realised it too late. Tough shit - his gift has now been returned, and in OP’s position I wouldn’t bother getting him another one. Rudeness should have consequences. All gift-giving occasions from this point on would yield a gift card or cash from me, there’s no way I’d put myself through another dickish response to a proper gift.

And yes to PP who said they wouldn’t join on his watch window-shopping ventures anymore. I’d go and browse at something else while he gazes at watches.