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Original poster

Today I returned my husband's christmas gift-how would you feel?

151 replies

SootySweepAndSueToo · 27/12/2025 16:29

I need some perspective in this situation as I'm feeling quite emotional.

This christmas i bought my husband of 13 years a watch. Background: he loves watches, always looking at them online, when we go shopping we always have to stop and look in watch shops, he picks out ones he likes best. He's been having a rough time with work and car issues (nothing financial related and we're not struggiing thankfully) so I bought him a watch he'd picked out, I thought he deserved something nice to cheer him up. It's not super expensive but is a nice make.

On opening it, he saw the box and said "oh no". Throughout christmas day he kept saying he wouldn't wear it, he already has a watch, he doesn't like the leather straps etc. This carried on into boxing day when feeling a little upset I told him not to worry I'd return it which he agreed to. He even went to his parents to print off the return form, which I filled in, packaged it all up to take to the post office today. Today he states he didn't mean to upset me but wants to keep the watch however won't wear it. I've told him no, it's being returned he doesn't get to keep it just because he knows he's upset me.

I am upset but need some perspective, am I being too emotional about this? Was it a bad gift? How would you feel? Or do I need to get a grip?

OP posts:

HewasH2O · 27/12/2025 16:32

I would definitely be hurt and would do the same as you & return it. He's taken all the leasure out of finding him something you thought he would really like.

Clefable · 27/12/2025 16:32

He sounds very untactful. Even if he didn’t want to wear it, you don’t open something and immediately say ‘Oh no!’ and then keep going on about it.

Later on once dust had settled and he’d had a chance to properly look and think about it he could have said something like ‘I am grateful you bought me such a thoughtful gift but I’m really attached to my current watch and am worried I won’t get the use out of the new one. Would you be upset if we returned it and picked something else?’ But he’s not gone about it in the best way!

DressOrSkirt · 27/12/2025 16:32

I wouldn't really feel any way about this. Sometimes we get things wrong, there's no point him keeping it if he's not going to wear it.

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Jellycatspyjamas · 27/12/2025 16:33

You gave it to him as a gift, it’s up to him what he does with it - wear it, keep it. If he wants to return it he can, but I wouldn’t insist he does much less return it for him.

Rhaidimiddim · 27/12/2025 16:33

Get a grip. He thought he liked it, decided he didn't when he had it in his posession and actually having to image himself wearing it, then said so.

Rictasmorticia · 27/12/2025 16:36

I would return it, but would not be upset about it. Relationships are based on honesty. As long as he was not nasty when he said it, I would let it go.

I bought myself a really eccentric witch ornament once. The following year I bought a second one from the same potter. People got the idea that I ‘collected’ witches and I got bought loads. Hated them all

SparklyGlitterballs · 27/12/2025 16:36

I don't get it. Why does he spend so much time looking at watches online and picking out ones he likes if he doesn't actually want one?

pictoosh · 27/12/2025 16:36

Kindly, get a grip.

Why hang on to something that won't be used? Waste of money surely?

I hate the pressure that Christmas gift giving and receiving brings. That he doesn't need another watch is no reflection on you.

HeadyLamarr · 27/12/2025 16:37

It's nothing personal.

You gave a thoughtful gift that unfortunately wasn't quite right for whatever reason when he opened it. It's far far better that he's honest and returns it than keeps it and doesn't wear it - which would both hurt your feelings and waste your money.

I misfire sometimes as well. Everyone does. It's ok. Don't take it to heart.

ItsDarkNow · 27/12/2025 16:38

My husband got me earrings. They are lovely but I won’t wear them. I am planning to return them and get something else, he doesn’t mind in the slightest.

moose62 · 27/12/2025 16:42

I get why you are upset. I would wonder why he suddenly didn't like the watch when he had picked it out and was obsessed with watches.
Even more odd to let you pack it all up to return it and then say he would keep it.
I would return it, give him the money when you get paid back and not buy him another or refer to it again.

tripleginandtonic · 27/12/2025 16:45

It's his present, stop being so controlling over what he does with it. If he wants to keep it and not wear it that's up to him.

Tighteningmybelt · 27/12/2025 16:46

I’d prefer them to be honest. I’d return it goo

OhDear111 · 27/12/2025 16:50

I’ve been married over 40 years. Top tip: choose a present together! Don’t assume you know what they want. Look together and choose together. Yes, it’s not a surprise but you avoid disappointment and stress. Earrings, necklaces etc - choose together and try and avoid on line unless your partner is browsing with you.

MrsLizzieDarcy · 27/12/2025 16:50

DH loves Lanx shoes, has got several pairs so I bought him a pair of their trainers. He hasn't even taken them out of the box to look at, he just said "oh no, those aren't for me". I'm absolutely fuming as everything I ever buy him, I send back. You think I'd have learned by now.

It's the easy dismissal when you've spent hours pouring over things that hurts.

gollyimholly · 27/12/2025 16:50

I think it's ok to do whatever it is he wants with the watch given it's for him. And I would try not to feel upset, it isn't personal to you - it's the item. DH and I return gifts we've given each other if it doesn't live up to our expectations and we appreciate that it's the thought or effort behind it. It's not like I made the cufflinks with my own bare hands or he made the handbag... Sometimes DH will have bought the exact item in a link I've sent and it just doesn't look right in person etc. Try not to feel too bad about it OP x

PermanentTemporary · 27/12/2025 16:52

What @Clefable said. He’s been incredibly tactless. The thought of him printing out the return form on the same day!

Yes to returning it from me.

Figcherry · 27/12/2025 16:53

I would assume he’s already bought it and doesn’t want you to know.

Arlanymor · 27/12/2025 16:53

It's a bit sad when we've spent time thinking about what to get someone and it doesn't turn out to be their cup of tea - but we've all done. Once you've had the refund why don't you both go shopping in the January sales for something he will love? Make a day of it - go for lunch afterwards - don't take the car and have some bubbles!

GrillaMilla · 27/12/2025 16:53

I think he was tactless to mention he didn't like it as soon as he saw it.
Better to accept graciously to spare hurt feelings, and then further down the line tell you actually, could it be swapped.

Livpool · 27/12/2025 16:53

I don’t see the problem? It would be weird if he had to keep it to placate you

MrsKeats · 27/12/2025 16:56

MrsLizzieDarcy · 27/12/2025 16:50

It's the easy dismissal when you've spent hours pouring over things that hurts.

That’s incredibly rude.

Luckyingame · 27/12/2025 16:58

I'd hate others choosing for me.
Simple.

teawamutu · 27/12/2025 17:05

Rhaidimiddim · 27/12/2025 16:33

Get a grip. He thought he liked it, decided he didn't when he had it in his posession and actually having to image himself wearing it, then said so.

There are ways of doing that that don't scream 'rude, ungrateful bastard'. He didn't choose any of them.

BoxingDayBoxers · 27/12/2025 17:08

I wouldn't be too upset, sometimes we get it wrong.

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