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Original poster

Today I returned my husband's christmas gift-how would you feel?

151 replies

SootySweepAndSueToo · 27/12/2025 16:29

I need some perspective in this situation as I'm feeling quite emotional.

This christmas i bought my husband of 13 years a watch. Background: he loves watches, always looking at them online, when we go shopping we always have to stop and look in watch shops, he picks out ones he likes best. He's been having a rough time with work and car issues (nothing financial related and we're not struggiing thankfully) so I bought him a watch he'd picked out, I thought he deserved something nice to cheer him up. It's not super expensive but is a nice make.

On opening it, he saw the box and said "oh no". Throughout christmas day he kept saying he wouldn't wear it, he already has a watch, he doesn't like the leather straps etc. This carried on into boxing day when feeling a little upset I told him not to worry I'd return it which he agreed to. He even went to his parents to print off the return form, which I filled in, packaged it all up to take to the post office today. Today he states he didn't mean to upset me but wants to keep the watch however won't wear it. I've told him no, it's being returned he doesn't get to keep it just because he knows he's upset me.

I am upset but need some perspective, am I being too emotional about this? Was it a bad gift? How would you feel? Or do I need to get a grip?

OP posts:
FortnumsWeddingBreakfastTeaPlease · 27/12/2025 23:46

MrsLizzieDarcy · 27/12/2025 16:50

DH loves Lanx shoes, has got several pairs so I bought him a pair of their trainers. He hasn't even taken them out of the box to look at, he just said "oh no, those aren't for me". I'm absolutely fuming as everything I ever buy him, I send back. You think I'd have learned by now.

It's the easy dismissal when you've spent hours pouring over things that hurts.

*It's the easy dismissal when you've spent hours pouring over things that hurts."

This. He didn't have to be a twat about it.

DH is bloody clueless at presents. Amplified by the stark contrast into how much thought and effort I go to when buying mine. However, after a couple of years I realised it wasn't deliberate and I could either spell it exactly what I wanted (which takes all the magic out of receiving a gift IMHO) or just accept that he's crap at it, and deal with it. So he takes the kids out with him and I get quite the eclectic mix of what they all think I'd like. He'll spend hours traipsing around, with all the children in tow. So when, this Christmas morning, I unwrapped my fucking awful glass tortoise, I look at their excited faces, and declare "oh, it's beautiful!" We've set a budget of a few hundred, so I know he can't ever waste an obscene amount of money on random shite, but I would never be so rude to undermine all their thought and effort in such a blasé and ungrateful way. If something was truly terrible and hundreds in it's own right, I might gently tiptoe around "do you know, I think I'd love it more in a different colour" then swap it at the shop for something else on my own. They would all be really gutted if I was as openly ungrateful as your DH. It comes from a good place, and it's really not nice to open a gift and turn your nose up, declaring "oh, no."

SouthernNights59 · 28/12/2025 00:42

HopingForTheBest25 · 27/12/2025 17:21

All the people telling the OP to get a grip, have no manners!
And fuck returning it and then having a 'nice' day out where the OP buys him something he really wants - arsehole behaviour doesn't deserve a reward!
Now if it was expensive and you (as a family) can't afford to write that off by him pretending to love it, to spare your feelings, then there are tactful ways of engineering a return. But he has completely trampled all over the OP's feelings by saying 'oh no' and rushing to get the return slip printed. If that was my dh, it would be the last gift I ever bought him tbh.

Those saying it's his to do with as he wants, are missing the point - this is about manners and consideration for the effort his wife made, not about the gift itself.

I agree with this. However, I have been on MN long enough to know that manners and consideration for others are traits which are very much missing in many posters so it's not really a surprise to see some of the responses.

Camille99 · 28/12/2025 01:06

I'd be much more upset if he said nothing but never wore it. Well I wouldn't be upset I'd just think it was a waste of money. I'd be happy if he told me to return it instead of not saying anything.

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Vaxtable · 28/12/2025 02:05

I would be hurt. I would return it and not buy anything else and would not stop at any shops selling watches when out with him.

SunnySideDeepDown · 28/12/2025 02:25

Id be stopping the wasted time in watch shops too. You were very thoughtful op, do return the watch.

Shitmonger · 28/12/2025 03:00

I bought him a watch he'd picked out

He’s an arsehole and he’s doing it on purpose. Don’t bother trying to buy him anything nice in the future, and don’t humour him by browsing watches with him.

I have a family member like this. They’ll tell you what they want, pick it out, and then when they unwrap it react like they can’t imagine why you’d buy that for them. The last time they did it to me I called them out by repeating the conversation where they’d asked for it back to them word for word. That took the wind out of their sails. And I haven’t bothered since.

BeanQuisine · 28/12/2025 03:49

He might have just thought the gift was too extravagant, saying "oh no" when he saw the box because he didn't think you'd actually splurge that much money on a present.

When he "chooses" watches in shop windows, it's just a bit of harmless fantasy.

user1492757084 · 28/12/2025 03:56

I would ask him which watch, of similar value, in that shop would he actually wear?
Does it just need a different band?

I would be returning it if he would never wear it.
It's good to be honest.

My brother has two watches - one for every day and a special one.

Hippobot · 28/12/2025 04:14

That's a really unkind way for anyone to react to any gift. He could have approached it far more tactfully if he really didn't like/want it.

iKuartz · 28/12/2025 04:20

I am autistic and I am exactly like this. I don't mean to, I try not to, but the only person who can satisfy my fixation is myself. Buying gifts for me (especially if you are buying things I really like) is hard because I only want specifically what I want, and normally if I can afford it, I have it. Also, surprises are really hard for me. After many years of disappointing my mom she finally accepted to ask me what I wanted before buying. This has made receiving gifts sooo much easier and for her, giving them much less disappointing. I am sorry you went through this. Maybe don't take it to your heart, if you can. He probably meant no harm and is sad to have hurt you.

Thoseslippers · 28/12/2025 06:14

I think he's being a dick tbh. I would keep jewellery from my husband even if I hated it, and id wear it sometimes when wuthering him. Because its meaningful that he thought of me and what's the harm really? If it were clothing that absolutely didn't fit or was uncomfortable then id understand. But a watch or sons jewellery? You can wear something that isn't quite to your taste from time to time surely. To show gratitude for the thought

PersephoneParlormaid · 28/12/2025 06:28

No need to be upset, it’s a waste of money as it’s not wanted, so return it.

BessieSurtees · 28/12/2025 06:34

All this angst about a gift, my DH and I have been buying gifts for each other for nearly 40 years and we still get it wrong sometimes, even when we have invested time planning or looking for it.

And what is the best way to react, straight away up front, or days later when the dust has settled? Either way it's going back.

As for keeping something I don't like to please my partner, why would you do that when you would both be happier exchanging it for something you / they would love and wear or use?

FlamboyantlyIncognito · 28/12/2025 07:12

The way he said 'oh no' says to me he's already bought it for himself and now he's got a predicament on his hands..... He's upset because he can't wear the one he's bought.... I bet he's out of time to take his one back so it's a double loss so to speak.

I have to say this; is he always like that? Seriously ungrateful and a bit weird (why did he have to go to his parents to print off the label on the same day? There's nowhere open to drop the parcel off at? There's plenty of time.) He needs a proper speaking to imo..... His behaviour sounds like he's a got a touch of the tosser about him or perhaps he's starting to lose it mentally.

Does he not realise he's behaved quite appallingly towards you?

You took so much time over it - v thoughtful and literally exactly what he wanted judging by all the window-shopping time he'd invested in it.

He owes you a massive apology.

stolenpromises · 28/12/2025 07:49

DH bought me a pair of expensive trainers. I am not sure why as they really aren’t me They are being returned and it was very difficult to say I didn’t like them. They were £130 so it needed said. The hardest part is saying you don’t like something. He’s taken it to heart a little but I have tried to be kind. It’s hard at Christmas.

Owly11 · 28/12/2025 07:56

Clefable · 27/12/2025 16:32

He sounds very untactful. Even if he didn’t want to wear it, you don’t open something and immediately say ‘Oh no!’ and then keep going on about it.

Later on once dust had settled and he’d had a chance to properly look and think about it he could have said something like ‘I am grateful you bought me such a thoughtful gift but I’m really attached to my current watch and am worried I won’t get the use out of the new one. Would you be upset if we returned it and picked something else?’ But he’s not gone about it in the best way!

This! He has behaved like a dick. I would frankly enjoy sending it back after his ridiculous performance that stretched over many days. Send it back, buy him something cheaper and use the rest of the cash to treat yourself.

SoftBalletShoes · 28/12/2025 07:56

I'm not understanding why he said "Oh no" and was so keen to return a watch that he had picked out. You say in your OP that he picked it out.

Sadza · 28/12/2025 07:59

Don’t be upset. Your husband loves watches and knows what he likes which makes it really hard to choose for him. I think printing the return so fast was just him being concerned about an expensive refund.

Tamtim · 28/12/2025 08:23

I don’t think a lot of men understand the level of thought and action we put into gift giving because it’s not something they think about. I’d be disappointed by his reaction too. Him going on and on about it was really unnecessary.

Fontet · 28/12/2025 08:24

I returned my husband's birthday gifts. No issue.

CorvusNoir · 28/12/2025 08:30

You can’t go wrong if he’d already ‘picked it out’, surely ?
So what’s with the ‘oh no’ ?

He’s behaved like an arse.

DemonsandMosquitoes · 28/12/2025 09:02

My husband got me (amongst other things) an expensive hot chocolate maker. I won’t use it and kindly told him so. He may as well get his money back as it sit in the cupboard.

Rattysparklebum · 28/12/2025 09:04

I have to be really careful about saying I like something as DH will take that as it’s something I want, I like the style of velvet sofas in bright colours with dark walls but it would look awful in our 1970’s house, I liked a dress I saw with a gorgeous print but the big flouncy sleeves were not my style and I had to quickly make that clear to DH so I didn’t wake up to it under the tree on Christmas Day.

I learnt this lesson after after there was ‘An evening with Take That’ on the tv one year, never been a big Take That fan but like a singalong to their songs and just casually mentioned I’d like to watch it, for Christmas I got tickets to Take That in a city nearly five hours drive away 😂, however I always accept a gift thinking about the thought and love behind it and your DH was not kind.

candlelarbraa · 28/12/2025 09:48

Last time dh bought me Christmas gifts I returned them - they were thoughtful but impractical and I wanted practical. He wasn't offended - we just decided that buying gifts was a waste of his time and mine.

PeonyPatch · 28/12/2025 09:52

It’s fine, he simply doesn’t like it. What’s wrong with returning it for something he does? Better than keeping it for the sake it and letting it gather dust at home. I think the only criticism I have is that he should have kept it to himself on Christmas Day and then mentioned something to you on Boxing Day or the day after. People change their minds, I know I do. I can understand you feel a bit disappointed though OP, but don’t take it personally. Happy Christmas x