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Original poster

Today I returned my husband's christmas gift-how would you feel?

151 replies

SootySweepAndSueToo · 27/12/2025 16:29

I need some perspective in this situation as I'm feeling quite emotional.

This christmas i bought my husband of 13 years a watch. Background: he loves watches, always looking at them online, when we go shopping we always have to stop and look in watch shops, he picks out ones he likes best. He's been having a rough time with work and car issues (nothing financial related and we're not struggiing thankfully) so I bought him a watch he'd picked out, I thought he deserved something nice to cheer him up. It's not super expensive but is a nice make.

On opening it, he saw the box and said "oh no". Throughout christmas day he kept saying he wouldn't wear it, he already has a watch, he doesn't like the leather straps etc. This carried on into boxing day when feeling a little upset I told him not to worry I'd return it which he agreed to. He even went to his parents to print off the return form, which I filled in, packaged it all up to take to the post office today. Today he states he didn't mean to upset me but wants to keep the watch however won't wear it. I've told him no, it's being returned he doesn't get to keep it just because he knows he's upset me.

I am upset but need some perspective, am I being too emotional about this? Was it a bad gift? How would you feel? Or do I need to get a grip?

OP posts:
Original poster
SootySweepAndSueToo · 27/12/2025 18:29

Thank you all for the varied points of view, really gratefully received. I agree I need to get a grip, I do think it is the tactless reaction that has upset me more than the returning of the gift per se.

Definitely haven't been buying him a watch every year haha, and no watch phobia has been mentioned. Perhaps it'll be socks from now on!

OP posts:
WildFlowerBees · 27/12/2025 18:36

I don’t think the op needs to ‘get a grip’ and just because kindly is written in front of it doesn’t make it anything other than a shitty comment.

Op your husband doesn’t like it fine, what isn’t fine is the way he told you and kept telling you, it was tactless and unkind. I don’t think YABU.

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MummaMummaMumma · 27/12/2025 18:44

If he doesn't like the watch, for whatever reason, he should be able to say so. If you choose a suprise then you should be prepared that the person may not like it. What's the big deal?

cocobanana922 · 27/12/2025 18:49

He's being honest with you, he won't wear it. Would it be better if he'd pretended he'd loved it but never wore it? To spare your feelings? I can see why you would be disappointing that he didn't love it though.

Honestly I think so many people say they "choose thoughtful and meaningful gifts" but at the end of the day it's hard to buy someone exactly what they want unless they specifically ask for it and then it's not you who is even choosing the gift. People think they are such good gift givers but more than likely the recipient probably doesn't want it. Look how many threads there are about people receiving their definition of a crap gift, but I bet the people that bought them these gifts thought they were doing a good job too.

TwoTuesday · 27/12/2025 18:49

Send it back, that's what he gets for being ungrateful and for printing out the return slip (!) and letting you pack it all up. It's too late to be worrying about upsetting you now, he should have thought about that before.

Barrenfieldoffucks · 27/12/2025 18:54

MummaMummaMumma · 27/12/2025 18:44

If he doesn't like the watch, for whatever reason, he should be able to say so. If you choose a suprise then you should be prepared that the person may not like it. What's the big deal?

He can be polite about it surely?

If we're a child and had reacted this way everyone would be commenting how badly mannered they are

Mine are told to always react gratefully, then quietly address issues later

ManManManManMan · 27/12/2025 19:08

Did he actually ask for it and want it? My partner has a habit of buying me things she thinks I want and it pisses me off. I’d rather buy my own rather than get something random.

WhereIsMyLight · 27/12/2025 19:10

You can like things and not want them indefinitely. You can also like things in the shop/online but not when you get them home. DH returned one of my Christmas presents (before Christmas because he checks with me) and I’m thinking I might be returning something I bought for myself. When I was younger I liked camper vans, I bought some camper van things. I then got camper vans for years and years after. I can still look at camper van things and think they are cute but I don’t want just those as presents and I don’t really want camper van things, even if they are cute.

His reaction is the problem. He was ungrateful. I struggle to hide my disappointment when I get a present I don’t like but I also struggle to hide my disappointment when I think I’ve given a perfect gift an it just falls flat. Gift giving isn’t love language and so when I don’t get it right (because we all get it wrong sometimes) it’s more of an internal reflection.

I don’t know what else has gone on, if this is the first year you’ve got it wrong, if there are bigger problems or he got you something and he felt the effort don’t match. If generally he’s grateful for gifts, then chalk this up as misunderstanding on both sides. If this is part of a larger pattern of behaviour (him saying he likes something and being ungrateful or him make a scene about something that should be small and dealt with privately). Or if he is always getting unthoughtful gifts for you, despite you saying what you would like, but can’t deal with a slightly wrong gift from you then that’s a bigger problem.

YerMaw16608 · 27/12/2025 19:13

There is some unknown story behind this, I think. You appear to have bought your husband a gift he appeared to want. Then he appeared - strongly - not to want. So you (possibly in a huff, understandably) said it's going back. He went along with this then said he wanted it after all but wouldn't wear it. Some folk just just collect watches, so this is maybe not as barmy as it looks. But you then insist it's going back... No-one else can have the foggiest what's going on here! Your DH needs to say why he's acting oddly. Then you can either go along with it - or solve whatever's bothering him. His problem, not yours, but of course that means 'both of yours'.

4forksache · 27/12/2025 19:16

What a waste of money if you aren’t allowed to return things for the sake of not upsetting people. I have too much respect for money to want to keep things I’m not in love with, or be upset with people who are truthful.

I want people to love what they get, not just tolerate it because of people’s sensibilities about being grateful for what you get etc. And I’m not going to waste people money on expensive gifts to me, by keeping them when they aren’t my taste.
Change them for something you really do love.

topcat2014 · 27/12/2025 19:17

Least said, soonest mended. DW returned her engagement ring.. we still talk about it 20 plus years later (we did get another)

2026isgoingtobebetter · 27/12/2025 19:24

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

TappyGilmore · 27/12/2025 19:34

I think something like a watch is too personal that it may not be the best gift if the recipient hasn’t chosen it for themselves. It appears in this case like your husband was admiring it but didn’t actually want to own it.

But he was rude in the way he communicated with you about it. It would have been best to thank you, and then tactfully mention later that he’d rather return it.

My DD is very particular about gifts and is now 16 so in my view that’s old enough to have manners, even if the gift is something that will be returned or re-gifted later. This year, I think I managed to get everything just right! The only return is an item of clothing which she liked but needed to be exchanged for a different size.

mathanxiety · 27/12/2025 20:00

He's rude and weird.

I'd be upset too, and confused.

CurlewKate · 27/12/2025 20:00

It’s not the returning- of course presents can misfire and it’s best to be honest and return them. It’s the way he went about it. There are kind and polite ways- a couple have been suggested on here. His way was shit.

herbalteabag · 27/12/2025 20:04

I think you should stop overthinking it, it's better that he felt able to tell you rather than pretend he liked it still and then never want to wear it and it would be too late to take it back. It's not a big deal really, even though you're disappointed you'll take it back and have forgotten about it soon enough.

OP posts:
ChiliFiend · 27/12/2025 20:08

I'm not surprised your feelings are hurt. It's interesting to see the mixed reactions on here; I wish I could be like one of the people who genuinely wouldn't care, but I'm like you - I've had a couple of Christmases where my husband hasn't liked my present or where I've got the wrong version of the thing he wanted and I felt really upset (the worst was when he opened it in front of other people so we had witnesses to the whole exchange and it was awkward and embarrassing). This year I've got him several smaller, safer things, which worked well - it wasn't all riding on one big gift.

Again - I don't know why I care so much - he's a lovely, kind person who isn't bothered about getting presents. But I get it.

iamnotalemon · 27/12/2025 20:15

He could have returned it himself for starters

Rictasmorticia · 27/12/2025 20:37

SparklyGlitterballs · 27/12/2025 16:36

I don't get it. Why does he spend so much time looking at watches online and picking out ones he likes if he doesn't actually want one?

Some people just enjoy looking at things they are interested in.My DH is mad about cameras. He would spend lots of time in camera shops and browsing on line without actually buying a new one.

Maybe like some people look at clothes, shoes, handbags and jewellery.

ItsDrActually · 27/12/2025 21:43

Fair enough, you might have got him the wrong watch, or he's already bought it himself or something.
What's really not on, is the reaction. 'oh no' isn't acceptable, even when it's the most awful gift that you wouldn't donate to a charity shop. I've taught my students who are going into professions where grateful clients are known to buy thank you gifts that you say 'thank you very much' and hide the laughter or despair. One year on receipt of the 20th bottle of special offer prosecco from Waitrose, it was VERY difficult to do this... I did wonder how I could get the station shop changed to not a Waitrose for the final couple of days we were open!!!

DisorganisedMummyTurningOrgnaised · 27/12/2025 22:13

Ironically this has happened to me with watches too… I’ll take note when DH
points one out and then buy it. Either he tells me when he opens it that though he loves it, having mulled over it, he won’t wear it OR after a while and realising he’s not getting on with it, he asks if he can sell/return it. It used to hurt me, but the truth is, he’s kept expensive gifts that he’s never worn and that hurts even more… he’s very practical and a minimalist, so I’ve learnt not to get offended by it anymore. It’s a bummer when you’ve thought you’ve gotten the right thing to be wrong, but better for him to have something he’ll use.

ultracynic · 27/12/2025 22:37

I’d have sent it back too, but what did he say when you told him he’d pointed it out in a shop?

Neemi1201 · 27/12/2025 23:23

Don't worry OP. I bought my DH a beautiful, expensive watch for his 40th a few years ago, which I thought he'd love. Yes, he loves looking at watches, but it didn't mean at the time that he was ready to part with wearing his sports watch! So I returned it, no harm done.