Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Original poster

Feel bad that I’ve wasted a friends money

187 replies

Bellagetdown · 27/12/2025 10:57

I’ve got a friend who is really in to astrology. I don’t mind it, but tend to steer clear as I’ve noticed that when I go through bad patches, I read star signs and watch readings for a bit of hope. Which always gets me down, as no one would watch a video entitled, “Aquarius, life is going to be really shit and you’ll probably lose your job and get divorced.” It’s all click bait titles about how your life will get better.

Anyway, this friend has been going on at me for months asking me for my time of birth. I don’t know it. There is no way of knowing it. Everyone who knows what time I was born died years ago and I can’t remember if my parents ever told me. I don’t have any old hospital records with it on, no baby book etc.

She kept asking, I kept telling her that I didn’t know. She kept telling me to call the hospital I was born in to see if they had records (I’m about to turn 47, very unlikely).

She was round for some drinks a while ago, and kept on saying, “shall we go in the loft? I bet there is something?” (There really isn’t).

Later that evening I just made up a time and told her. I made up a fictitious family member and said I’d text them and they did remember and it was 7pm. It made her really happy and she didn’t mention it again.

Yesterday, she handed me a beautifully presented, leather bound fully personalised birth chart, Astro cartography thing.

And now I feel so guilty because she’s obviously spent a lot of money on it and it’s all bollocks based on a made up time of birth.

She was so thrilled to give it to me and now I feel like a massive prick.

OP posts:
Original poster
Bellagetdown · 27/12/2025 14:16

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

I think I was a bottle of white in at that point and she was trying to find a chair to stand on to open the loft hatch to look for a non existent baby book.

It was a needs must situation to be fair. It was that or lose my shit and ruin a good party.

OP posts:
WeWillWeWillRockYou · 27/12/2025 14:16

OP, I'll say it again. What is your plan for when she inevitably starts raising the subject of your chart?

DahlsChickenz · 27/12/2025 14:17

You didn't waste her money, she did. You have absolutely no responsibility for this at all. If she wants to do the equivalent of ripping up ten pound notes that's her call. Just say thank you and hide it in the loft until enough time has reasonably passed for you to bin it.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

Philosophy & religion
Sassylovesbooks · 27/12/2025 14:18

I would say that your friend had made up her mind she was going to buy you a personalised astrology chart based on your time of birth, for Christmas. She didn't give up asking you, because she was hell bent on buying it!! So you don't know the exact time, it really doesn't matter you told her a lie, and made it up. She's happy she could buy you the gift she was clearly desperate to buy you. Others are correct, the reading is unlikely to be much different regardless of which time you had chosen and let's face it, most of it is rubbish. Say thank you, and don't think any more about it.

WeWillWeWillRockYou · 27/12/2025 14:20

DahlsChickenz · 27/12/2025 14:17

You didn't waste her money, she did. You have absolutely no responsibility for this at all. If she wants to do the equivalent of ripping up ten pound notes that's her call. Just say thank you and hide it in the loft until enough time has reasonably passed for you to bin it.

The friend will not let it lie, just like she didn't let the issue of OP's time of birth lie.

MyNeedyLilacBird · 27/12/2025 14:21

My time of birth is definitely on my birth certificate and I wasn't a multiple birth- just checked as this thread got me wondering.

I'd just thank friend and say no more as it's all rubbish anyway

Original poster
Bellagetdown · 27/12/2025 14:21

WeWillWeWillRockYou · 27/12/2025 14:16

OP, I'll say it again. What is your plan for when she inevitably starts raising the subject of your chart?

I’ll have to nod along I guess and say things about mercury retrogrades.

I have actually picked up a lot from listening to her over the years. I could probably get through an evening with Russell Grant without being outed as a naysayer.

OP posts:
Yummycarrot · 27/12/2025 14:22

Bellagetdown · 27/12/2025 14:21

I’ll have to nod along I guess and say things about mercury retrogrades.

I have actually picked up a lot from listening to her over the years. I could probably get through an evening with Russell Grant without being outed as a naysayer.

Show quote history

So she will buy you more related stuff on your birthday and next Christmas if you crack on with the lie

LamentableShoes · 27/12/2025 14:25

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

What has OP risked? not finding out her actual truthful details about her own life and personality?!

It literally would've made zero difference whatever time OP told the friend. Nothing has been lost except the money which was always going to be spent.

Original poster
Bellagetdown · 27/12/2025 14:29

Yummycarrot · 27/12/2025 14:22

So she will buy you more related stuff on your birthday and next Christmas if you crack on with the lie

Show quote history

Good god. Listen, 40 years. 40. She knows I don’t really care. I don’t know what came over her this time.

But we’ve swapped birthday and Christmas presents since we were about 12. None have been astrology related. I doubt it will turn into that now. She clearly has this in mind this year, but I don’t think it’s going to turn into a thing.

For someone who is really into astrology, she has nothing of it in her home, bar books. She’s a minimalist like me, apart from a healthy set of book shelves, so I am very confident I won’t be inundated with zodiac style tat.

OP posts:
Snowyowl99 · 27/12/2025 14:31

Yip double checked and time is on our birthday certificates UK

Yummycarrot · 27/12/2025 14:31

This is odd

so despite you now thinking you can fake interest, you don’t think that will result in her buying you more gifts along these lines.

ok

Yummycarrot · 27/12/2025 14:32

so I am very confident I won’t be inundated with zodiac style tat.

and yet here we are!

Original poster
Bellagetdown · 27/12/2025 14:33

Yummycarrot · 27/12/2025 14:31

This is odd

so despite you now thinking you can fake interest, you don’t think that will result in her buying you more gifts along these lines.

ok

I’ll only fake an interest if she asks anything about that particular present.

Fuck me, I’m already in bed with a bad cold, this is giving me a headache. You’d make a very good interrogator.

OP posts:
Snowyowl99 · 27/12/2025 14:33

ParallelLimes · 27/12/2025 13:26

RTFT COLUMBO! 🙄

Show quote history

I'm well.up to date and yes all.my familys time is on birth certificate UK

Yummycarrot · 27/12/2025 14:34

Surprised she didn’t ask “exactly 7pm?”

Snowyowl99 · 27/12/2025 14:36

Pudmyboy · 27/12/2025 13:41

No, not the time, not in the UK anyway

Edited
Show quote history

On my UK certificate it is and my husband and children. Definitely there ...have checked

Original poster
Bellagetdown · 27/12/2025 14:36

Yummycarrot · 27/12/2025 14:34

Surprised she didn’t ask “exactly 7pm?”

Yeah, I think that would actually have been the straw that broke the camels back. Greatful she didn’t 🤣

OP posts:
Grammarnut · 27/12/2025 14:38

Clefable · 27/12/2025 11:00

Even with the right time of birth it would all be bollocks anyway so I wouldn’t worry.

This is true. I have (somewhere) an astrological chart done by my once best friend. I was born at supper time - well, this is vague! But hospital supper is about nine o' clock afaik, but it could be six o'clock in some places, e.g. where I was born was a nursing home not a hospital...still, chart looks good and were we still best friends (long and dreadful story) I would probably have it framed as it's attractive. OP can do the same - and who knows, maybe she was born at 7 pm. And friend is happy. Win-win.

AgentPidge · 27/12/2025 14:38

Mmr224 · 27/12/2025 11:11

I'm sure time and date of birth are both on your birth certificate if you really want to know?

Show quote history

In Scotland, but not in England. They only put time of birth if you're a twin, triplet etc. They might do it now but certainly didn't 40- odd years ago

Yummycarrot · 27/12/2025 14:40

Bellagetdown · 27/12/2025 14:36

Yeah, I think that would actually have been the straw that broke the camels back. Greatful she didn’t 🤣

Show quote history

Makes me wonder whether she did actually spend much if just took you throwing out a nice round “7pm” after months of batting her away

Sounds like she sent off to not on the high street, give your name and dob, get a “personalised” chart. For about £15 inc deliver

Snowyowl99 · 27/12/2025 14:42

CharlotteLightandDark · 27/12/2025 13:48

They aren’t on mine or my kids, I looked for this exact reason!

Show quote history

Well they are on mine and my children

IridiumSky · 27/12/2025 14:42

OP, you miss the point that it would all be (as you correctly identify) ‘bollocks’ even if you knew your time of birth to the millisecond, so it really doesn’t matter.

Everything in that folder is rubbish, made up to extract money from gullible fools. But if it makes them happy, and they can afford to finance charlatans, so what? Play along.

Yummycarrot · 27/12/2025 14:43

Bellagetdown · 27/12/2025 14:33

I’ll only fake an interest if she asks anything about that particular present.

Fuck me, I’m already in bed with a bad cold, this is giving me a headache. You’d make a very good interrogator.

Show quote history

So upshot of thread is…. You express a bit of interest and then…. Same as past 40 years, you just keep batting her away?

AgentPidge · 27/12/2025 14:46

AnnieLummox · 27/12/2025 14:07

Genuine question: how do people who believe in this account for things like daylight saving time? If you’re born at 3am the day the clocks have gone back, surely it’s “really” 4am - which, if you believe in this stuff, should make a notable difference? Or if you’re in a country with more than one time zone, getting diverted to a different hospital (as happened to my mother during labour) could mean your child is born an hour earlier or later than they “should” be.

Doesn't answer your question completely but the astrology is actually based on your time of conception, not birth, but of course no one knows the time of conception so they just have to use birth time. I imagine someone who does an actual chart will compensate for daylight saving etc. They will have charts that tell them when a planet was going through a particular sign on your birthday, and all that.