Feel bad that I’ve wasted a friends money

[Bellagetdown]

I’ve got a friend who is really in to astrology. I don’t mind it, but tend to steer clear as I’ve noticed that when I go through bad patches, I read star signs and watch readings for a bit of hope. Which always gets me down, as no one would watch a video entitled, “Aquarius, life is going to be really shit and you’ll probably lose your job and get divorced.” It’s all click bait titles about how your life will get better.

Anyway, this friend has been going on at me for months asking me for my time of birth. I don’t know it. There is no way of knowing it. Everyone who knows what time I was born died years ago and I can’t remember if my parents ever told me. I don’t have any old hospital records with it on, no baby book etc.

She kept asking, I kept telling her that I didn’t know. She kept telling me to call the hospital I was born in to see if they had records (I’m about to turn 47, very unlikely).

She was round for some drinks a while ago, and kept on saying, “shall we go in the loft? I bet there is something?” (There really isn’t).

Later that evening I just made up a time and told her. I made up a fictitious family member and said I’d text them and they did remember and it was 7pm. It made her really happy and she didn’t mention it again.

Yesterday, she handed me a beautifully presented, leather bound fully personalised birth chart, Astro cartography thing.

And now I feel so guilty because she’s obviously spent a lot of money on it and it’s all bollocks based on a made up time of birth.

She was so thrilled to give it to me and now I feel like a massive prick.

Hahaha this is brilliant. She never need know OP. You’re a nice person just forget it. You might have been born at 7pm anyway 🤷🏻‍♀️

Just accept it graciously and say nothing. Even if the time was correct it’s all just a crock of nonsense anyway.

If she doesn’t really have the money to spare, any gift would have been a waste. If, as you suspect, this is her way of making herself happy, the gift achieved its aim.

Just out of interest, when she kept hassling you about this for months on end, did you never say “Why is it so important?”? And if you did, what did she say?

😆

She’s always gone on about how I didn’t know my rising or moon sign. I’ve known her for close to 40 years. There have been many times where she’s tried to do my a birth chart and asked me to find my time of birth over the decades. I’ve never been arsed and I lost both parents very young anyway.

But she’s never pushed it like this year. I assumed she wanted a distraction from what she was going through. But you know, I have my own life and 3 children. I didn’t really stop to think it could be for a gift this time.

She never got the message, despite your heavy hints, that you weren’t interested, so don’t worry about it. You didn’t waste her money, she did.

(Hope she’s not a mumsnetter, as this could be pretty outing).

It was always going to be a made up load of bollocks anyway, so it really is no difference whether it’s the ‘correct’ time or not. It’s no more a waste of money regardless, so I wouldn’t feel any guilt.

Ive been on mumsnet since I was pregnant with my 23 year old. I’ve posted many things and read many things.

All I’ve learned in that time is that not everyone is on this forum. Most people I’ve met in life have never heard of it.

If everyone was scared of being outed, no one would post anything. And that’s the risk anyway, with anything on the internet.

(Although, I do love it when people won’t reveal their husbands hobby for fear of it being too outing. It’s cycling, Sarah. It’s always cycling 🤣)

Well, given it's all a load of shite, it doesn't matter, does it? Just say thank you and don't think about it.

You haven't wasted her money she has. She chose the gift. Just say thank you and don't tell her you made up the time. She doesn't need to know.

I love this response; it is both sensible and sensitive. Great advice.

My time of birth is on my birth certificate, on my husbands and on my twochildrens too...so easy to find out.

All is well. Your lovely friend got you a very special present she wanted to give you. You have a lovely present from that friend to keep forever. As for the time maybe it was correct as it may have been stored in your head all along from something you overheard as a young child.

You have a lovely thoughtful kind friend to cherish that is the main thing.

RTFT COLUMBO! 🙄

I don't think you've wasted her money, she did that. But she doesn't know it's a waste and she's happy. I'd leave it at that.
In reality, if you don't believe in it, then it doesn't make any difference if it's the right time of birth or not.

She wasted her own money, OP, on a load of nonsense.

Your problem now, is that she's going to bring it up in conversation. More than once. All those times she asked for your time of birth, will now be turned into how accurate your chart is because now it has your time of birth in it, what it means for your next year, etc etc.

You need to figure out how you are going to deal with this, going forward. Because this won't be the end of it.

Well obviously because her friend just wouldn't let it drop. Thought that was quite clear from the OP.

Fingers crossed your friend isn’t a mumsnetter

You say most people are not on mumsnet
indeed

but you have squat all idea whether your friend is, and yet you thought… sod the risk of really hurting, let’s start an incredibly detailed and outing thread about her.

Yeah, I’ll take the vanishingly small risk.

No, not the time, not in the UK anyway

For heaven’s sake, she’s known the woman 40 years. She probably has quite a good idea of whether she’s an MN type person or not.

We know.

WE KNOW.

WE KNOW!!!!

Well clearly doesn’t, otherwise would have clarified that the relevant post upthread