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Feel bad that I’ve wasted a friends money

187 replies

Bellagetdown · 27/12/2025 10:57

I’ve got a friend who is really in to astrology. I don’t mind it, but tend to steer clear as I’ve noticed that when I go through bad patches, I read star signs and watch readings for a bit of hope. Which always gets me down, as no one would watch a video entitled, “Aquarius, life is going to be really shit and you’ll probably lose your job and get divorced.” It’s all click bait titles about how your life will get better.

Anyway, this friend has been going on at me for months asking me for my time of birth. I don’t know it. There is no way of knowing it. Everyone who knows what time I was born died years ago and I can’t remember if my parents ever told me. I don’t have any old hospital records with it on, no baby book etc.

She kept asking, I kept telling her that I didn’t know. She kept telling me to call the hospital I was born in to see if they had records (I’m about to turn 47, very unlikely).

She was round for some drinks a while ago, and kept on saying, “shall we go in the loft? I bet there is something?” (There really isn’t).

Later that evening I just made up a time and told her. I made up a fictitious family member and said I’d text them and they did remember and it was 7pm. It made her really happy and she didn’t mention it again.

Yesterday, she handed me a beautifully presented, leather bound fully personalised birth chart, Astro cartography thing.

And now I feel so guilty because she’s obviously spent a lot of money on it and it’s all bollocks based on a made up time of birth.

She was so thrilled to give it to me and now I feel like a massive prick.

OP posts:
dairydebris · 27/12/2025 11:00

Big hug and a kiss, thankyou friend, this is very kind of you.

Clefable · 27/12/2025 11:00

Even with the right time of birth it would all be bollocks anyway so I wouldn’t worry.

somanychristmaslights · 27/12/2025 11:02

Even with the right time, it’s bollocks anyway? I wonder how much difference in the “results” it would make in changing the time.

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JDM625 · 27/12/2025 11:02

Why would you make up a fictious relative and birth time? You already told her you couldn't find out. 😕

Bellagetdown · 27/12/2025 11:02

dairydebris · 27/12/2025 11:00

Big hug and a kiss, thankyou friend, this is very kind of you.

Oh of course. I thanked her and told her how much I loved it. But it’s obviously very expensive.

OP posts:
Smartiepants79 · 27/12/2025 11:04

It’s all bollocks anyway. Even with the correct time down to the last second it’s still bollocks.
It’s made your friend happy. It’s her money and her choice. Just say thank you and have a read through for fun and then put it on the shelf and forget it.

LongBreath · 27/12/2025 11:04

But it’s utter nonsense anyway, and wouldn’t have been any less nonsense with the correct time of birth. It’s not on you that she believes in such crap, and is prepared to waste money on it.

Bellagetdown · 27/12/2025 11:04

JDM625 · 27/12/2025 11:02

Why would you make up a fictious relative and birth time? You already told her you couldn't find out. 😕

Because she wouldn’t stop.

She was trying to get dh to help her get in the loft to look for anything with it on. I had a house full of people and she wouldn’t take I don’t know for an answer for MONTHS.

I was also quite drunk and just wanted her to stop bugging me about it.

OP posts:
IPM · 27/12/2025 11:04

I wouldn't feel bad that she's wasted her money.

But I would feel really bad that I couldn't stick up for myself to a friend, and simply tell them "I don't know and that's the end of it".

Do you kowtow to everyone or is it just her?

Please learn to stick up for yourself if you can.

wateraddict · 27/12/2025 11:05

She really wanted to give you this to give you both joy. It’s complete on her side and it is a kindness to yourself to let it go. Distract yourself and try not to dwell on it. All is well.

Patty101 · 27/12/2025 11:05

Your friend obviously got a great deal of satisfaction out of giving it you, so don't worry about her wasting her money. She is happy now so I would just leave it at that.

IPM · 27/12/2025 11:06

Bellagetdown · 27/12/2025 11:04

Because she wouldn’t stop.

She was trying to get dh to help her get in the loft to look for anything with it on. I had a house full of people and she wouldn’t take I don’t know for an answer for MONTHS.

I was also quite drunk and just wanted her to stop bugging me about it.

So both you and your husband have trouble telling her to just leave it as that's the end of it?

Schoolchoicesucks · 27/12/2025 11:06

You don't have anything to feel guilty about. She is happy that she has been able to give you your "proper" chart and you have thanked her appropriately.

If you don't believe in astrology then the chart she has given you is no "better" than one that had the actual correct time of your birth on it. If you do believe in it then this is still as good as it will get for you because no-one knows the actual time.

Doing this for you has made her happy.

popupandsayhi · 27/12/2025 11:07

I absolve you from this. Job done. Have a lovely day

Wanderinggoose · 27/12/2025 11:07

Your friend is ridiculous by not letting it go and she wasted herown money. You are not at fault at all

Bellagetdown · 27/12/2025 11:07

IPM · 27/12/2025 11:04

I wouldn't feel bad that she's wasted her money.

But I would feel really bad that I couldn't stick up for myself to a friend, and simply tell them "I don't know and that's the end of it".

Do you kowtow to everyone or is it just her?

Please learn to stick up for yourself if you can.

This went on for months.

I would have been more firm but she’s not had a good year.

But I did keep telling her she had to let it go as I didn’t know and couldn’t find out. Again and again. She wouldn’t and it came to a head during a busy party at my house and I lied to keep her quiet.

OP posts:
Toddlerteaplease · 27/12/2025 11:08

Clefable · 27/12/2025 11:00

Even with the right time of birth it would all be bollocks anyway so I wouldn’t worry.

This

Wanderinggoose · 27/12/2025 11:09

Bellagetdown · 27/12/2025 11:07

This went on for months.

I would have been more firm but she’s not had a good year.

But I did keep telling her she had to let it go as I didn’t know and couldn’t find out. Again and again. She wouldn’t and it came to a head during a busy party at my house and I lied to keep her quiet.

Was she always into this or just turned recently when she had tough time?

Topseyt123 · 27/12/2025 11:10

It's a nice gift even though it is based on utter bollocks. I'd just be suitably appreciative and leave it at that.

It's your friend's own money. If she wants to blow it on this then let her. You can't influence it.

Mmr224 · 27/12/2025 11:11

Bellagetdown · 27/12/2025 11:04

Because she wouldn’t stop.

She was trying to get dh to help her get in the loft to look for anything with it on. I had a house full of people and she wouldn’t take I don’t know for an answer for MONTHS.

I was also quite drunk and just wanted her to stop bugging me about it.

I'm sure time and date of birth are both on your birth certificate if you really want to know?

IPM · 27/12/2025 11:11

Bellagetdown · 27/12/2025 11:07

This went on for months.

I would have been more firm but she’s not had a good year.

But I did keep telling her she had to let it go as I didn’t know and couldn’t find out. Again and again. She wouldn’t and it came to a head during a busy party at my house and I lied to keep her quiet.

Lots of people haven't had a good year.

This is no excuse to hound your friend for months and refuse to listen to them, just because you've had an idea for their Christmas present.

Bellagetdown · 27/12/2025 11:12

IPM · 27/12/2025 11:06

So both you and your husband have trouble telling her to just leave it as that's the end of it?

I told her for months. I kept telling her in person and via texts that I didn’t know and to drop it. I then ignored it when she brought it up again, until she came for the party where she was fixated on it once again.

Dh told her no, she couldn’t go in the loft. I told her there was nothing in the loft. There was a lot of “but pleeeeae” so I lied to shut her up in the end.

We had a house full of guests, not really the time to have an argument with someone or kick them out.

OP posts:
Bellagetdown · 27/12/2025 11:12

Mmr224 · 27/12/2025 11:11

I'm sure time and date of birth are both on your birth certificate if you really want to know?

It’s not on any birth certificate I’ve ever seen!

OP posts:
Bellagetdown · 27/12/2025 11:13

Wanderinggoose · 27/12/2025 11:09

Was she always into this or just turned recently when she had tough time?

She’s always been into this, I’ve known her since primary school. She had a poster of mystic Meg in her room when we were teenagers.

OP posts:
Rantymare · 27/12/2025 11:13

Even if your fake auntie fanny was real she could've easily got the time wrong or mixed you up with a sibling or cousin or just made up a time to shut you up

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