Feel bad that I’ve wasted a friends money

[Bellagetdown]

I’ve got a friend who is really in to astrology. I don’t mind it, but tend to steer clear as I’ve noticed that when I go through bad patches, I read star signs and watch readings for a bit of hope. Which always gets me down, as no one would watch a video entitled, “Aquarius, life is going to be really shit and you’ll probably lose your job and get divorced.” It’s all click bait titles about how your life will get better.

Anyway, this friend has been going on at me for months asking me for my time of birth. I don’t know it. There is no way of knowing it. Everyone who knows what time I was born died years ago and I can’t remember if my parents ever told me. I don’t have any old hospital records with it on, no baby book etc.

She kept asking, I kept telling her that I didn’t know. She kept telling me to call the hospital I was born in to see if they had records (I’m about to turn 47, very unlikely).

She was round for some drinks a while ago, and kept on saying, “shall we go in the loft? I bet there is something?” (There really isn’t).

Later that evening I just made up a time and told her. I made up a fictitious family member and said I’d text them and they did remember and it was 7pm. It made her really happy and she didn’t mention it again.

Yesterday, she handed me a beautifully presented, leather bound fully personalised birth chart, Astro cartography thing.

And now I feel so guilty because she’s obviously spent a lot of money on it and it’s all bollocks based on a made up time of birth.

She was so thrilled to give it to me and now I feel like a massive prick.

I'm curious as to what she thought she might find that would have your time of birth on?

I have my hospital tag that has it on but that's it.

It's quite small so if it was just in a box in the attic it probably wouldn't be found quickly!

Time of birth is on the birth certificate of both my UK (Scotland) born children.

She hasn't wasted her money in her eyes.
Its all bollocks anyway, just chuck it in a drawer and make it your new year resolution to learn how to clearly tell people to shut the fuck up and stop badgering you about shit.

And now I feel so guilty because she’s obviously spent a lot of money on it and it’s all bollocks based on a made up time of birth.

Mate, it would be bollocks even if it was based on your actual time of birth. Just smile and nod and say thank you. Her choice to waste her money, not yours.

Ah, thank you, so maybe just England then.

Oh for the love of fuck. I’ve never questioned her on her internet useage.

I’m usually good that. Just not when helping someone through a really hard time in life.

It really hasn’t been the year it tell her to fuck off about anything.

They aren’t on mine or my kids, I looked for this exact reason!

It would be a complete waste of money even if you did know the time you were born so honestly, don’t worry about it! As you say it’s all made up nonsense anyway because nobody would buy it if they didn’t make it positive and hopeful.

Tbh @Bellagetdown it's done now. You obviously aren't going to tell her, so there's no point fretting.

She was trying to get DH to help her get in the loft to look for anything with it on ....... she wouldn’t take I don’t know for an answer for MONTHS.
Well, she's very pushy then! It's not exactly reasonable to insist someone looks in their loft for something they don't have for something they don't want!
You could probably look online to see how much she might have spent on it and try to gift her something of similar value back. I imagine she will be asking you what you thought of it and how true it is etc so this 'playing along' may go on. She may have had a tough year but at what point do you assert yourself and get her to calm down?
I used to be into astrology as a teenager but I grew up and got over it.

Yep, not surprised!

Ok, first of all, it's doesn't matter whether you gave her the correct time or not,you'd have received a book full of bollocks either way, because astrology is bollocks.

But ignoring that, you haven't wasted her money. She wanted to give you what she felt was a nice gift, so that she gets warm fuzzy feelings from the act. As far as she knows, she gave you a nice gift, you liked it, she got the warm fuzzy feelings. Job done!

You seem very invested in this thread. Are you the Mystic Meg-loving friend? 🤔

I’ve told her many times over almost 40 years that I’m not interested in astrology.

Shes had MANY periods before of saying I need to find out my time of birth as my rising sign is important. She knows I don’t care.

I feel bad becuase I got pissed at a party I was busy hosting, lied to her to shut her up, and now she’s spent money I know she can’t afford because of that lie.

Genuine question: how do people who believe in this account for things like daylight saving time? If you’re born at 3am the day the clocks have gone back, surely it’s “really” 4am - which, if you believe in this stuff, should make a notable difference? Or if you’re in a country with more than one time zone, getting diverted to a different hospital (as happened to my mother during labour) could mean your child is born an hour earlier or later than they “should” be.

If someone believes in astrology then logic is not going to be their strong point 😆

You are being weirdly OTT about it, to be fair.

Well yeah, it would be like a friend who’s really into football who talks about a lot, and your eyes glaze over, but it’s thier hobby so it’s what they like to talk about.

She’s always enjoyed astrology, even at primary school she was into it. It’s her main interest in life.

We have many other things in common. Just not that!

She doesn’t think it’s money wasted. She is proud as punch to have done that for you. You can see it as your gift to her.