£3 million liquid net worth at 28, depressed and unable to relate to anyone

[YourHangryMentor]

I am sorry in advance if this sounds insensitive given how some are struggling but I don't know where else to post. I'm at £3 mil liquid now (mainly own business started at 20, if I sold this it would be a considerably higher number) and don't know what the hell I am doing with my life anymore.

Split from DP a few months ago, don't work anymore (I used to work as a medical doctor), spent christmas alone other than a visit to brother. It's almost like life is too easy now and there's no reason to get out of bed anymore, I have little passion for anything and I've still got another 60 years of this to go. When I was younger I was an extremely driven person but now I'm just a shadow of that.

My childhood wasn't bad enough for me to be taken into care but it was terrible and I don't see them anymore. I'm only close to my brother who has always had mental health issues but they have worsened significantly since he was signed off with "fibromyalgia" and does nothing all day.

I want DC but am still in shock from my ex-leaving, it was related to money even though I never criticised/cared about his income at all (consultant dr so not low at all) he kept being insecure and making issues whenever I wanted to do anything expensive and pay for him. I am lucky to have close friends who don't care but have had plenty of nasty/catty responses from random people for no reason whatsoever.

I don't really know where I'm going but I just feel so lost. Wondering if there's anyone here who went through the same thing? Merry christmas.

OP I agree that you need to find some purpose. What kinds of things do you find yourself following and watching on social media or telly?

Why not try ‘ the journey ‘ therapy . It will help you find your life’s purpose. It’s incredible . www.home.thejourney.com

1. freeze your eggs
2. see a therapist, doctor for depression.
3. someone will come into your life & you will be transformed. Usually when you least expect it.
4. study for a PhD
5. take time out to travel the world. It expands your mind in ways you can’t yet comprehend.
6. get some hobbies that take up your whole brain all the time.
7. the absolute best advice is to help out in charities. Once you realise it’s not all about you, that others have it a million times worse than you, that you are giving yourself to others, this produces amazing happiness in yourself. They aren’t expecting anything, but you are changing their lives with untold gratitude. It makes you want to get out of bed each day & gives you a bounce in your step, for no other reason that you are making people very happy indeed. All your problems just fade away. You also make amazing friends who know the real you. You might even meet your life partner. These people won’t care your back story. You will just end up happy all day long.

You definitely sound depressed if you you really can't see what an incredibly lucky situation you are in. Could you take a year or so out and go and work for Medicine Sans Frontiers or a similar organisation. You need direction and perspective. Good luck.

Start volunteering. Do something to make life better for other people. Doing this will help you to understand who you are and how you want to spend those precious years you have ahead of you.

If medicine is your calling but you're too much of a square peg for the nhs (not the only one!) then get yourself away with drs without borders or Boots on the Ground. You want purpose and meaning? You'll not look back. It'll go a long way to put your upbringing into the right compartments too (although a solid round of trauma therapy never goes amiss!

How about joining a GP Practice. A good one. And making a difference to your patient group?
We have a fantastic GP Practice where we live and although it works with the NHS, it goes above and beyond considering the local population and their needs, working at odds with some of the skewed (NHS) vision....and it's made such a difference to the community. Small companies offer free or donate as able time/groups once a month for wellbeing, etc....

Or something along these lines where you feel a sense of purpose

Why not try ‘ the journey ‘ therapy . It will help you find your life’s purpose. It’s incredible . www.home.thejourney.com

Wow. That website is something else.

Hi,
There's a property in Lancashire, 1,35 Mill.. 22 acres... Lancashire Rescue Centre it could be called...predominantly a kennel free dog rescue...got a 4 bed detached house for a pet shop and cafe..all profits back into charity. People with disabilities, older people, lonely people could volunteer,. Off grid properties at the bottom of the land, people in crisis with really poor mental health problems could live with the dogs that are not suitable to mix..be an amazing thing... I'd absolutely love to be involved.. got a barn, pop an agility set in and could be rented out to generate money for the rescue. Semi rural. Not sure if you are passionate about helping vulnerable beings, but hlad of your money could do something incredible that would save and improve so many lives.
Good luck. Maybe go away for a few days. Put your phone down. Book a spa day. Look up at the stars, breathe deeply and relax, if you can. You are young. You can be ok. Sending you a massive hug. X

Travel. Meet new people and enjoy life

There are a number of things going on with you here and it’s probably far more than can be fixed in a simple post but I’ll give you my view as someone who has been in a similar situation previously.

1. life is about purpose. Purpose often leads to fulfilment. Sit down and write some ideas down for things you think you might enjoy doing and/or might get you out of your comfort zone e.g. could be literally anything from getting a simple job to working/helping others. Step 1 is writing the list of possibilities. Step 2 may be as simple as exploring one of them and so on. You only need baby steps to feel like you’re heading in the right direction. One small step at a time is all you need.

2. connection with others. This is key to fulfilment. Improving your friendship circle is important to give you options in your free time. None of my friends know how much money I earn so money here is irrelevant. Write a list of potential hobbies. Join local clubs. Volunteer. Anything to get you out of the house. We all need friends and we’re never too old to make more.

For me, doing things for others generally gives me the most fulfilment. Whether it’s family members or people in the local community.

Dont think that your current situation will continue forever. It won’t. Life constantly evolves without us ever realising.

If you feel unable to even start here. Consider seeing your doctor. Something short term may be all you need. Good luck.

What about writing about your journey so far? I would love to know how you got to where you are now, the adversities you faced etc. I think it would be inspiring. It might also be theraputic and give you insight on where you need to go next in your journey. Then you could write a second book about your journey to fulfillment when money wasnt the answer? I hope you find something to motivate you in the new year.

I think you could join a gym, go to various classes, yoga, pilates, zumba, in fact anything that suits you and you will find friends. Keep yourself busy. Since joining gyms, now and in the past ive travelled to Canada, Spain, Dubai, Abu Dhabi ,concerts and made lots of friends, just try it and give it a go.

OP, your situation resonates (if still sadly unrelatable on account of me not having the £3m in the bank that you do ;) There are enough trust fund babies & high net worth entrepreneurs who've gone before you that have faced your same dilemma. I'm sure you can apply yourself to find some best in class guidance on how to resolve a worthwhile path.

Plenty of decent advice on here, but putting others ahead of yourself & figuring out what you want your 'legacy' to be has got to be at the core of getting some of that original motivation back. Still no small mission to figure out WHAT that spark will be, so I wish you all the best figuring that out without spiralling to drink/drugs/depression/ other destructive behaviour which is also so common as a path for those born into this much monetary reward without any effort needed...

I was taught that a proper rounded education includes:

academic - you seem to have sorted out intellectual achievement & extrinsic reward fairly well already.

physical - seems you're on top of this daily. I'd back up others saying freeze some eggs now though, it buys a lot of options against all sorts of things that may happen over the next 15-20 years. Some people go all out on intense adrenaline sports & the thrill of the chase to get that early risk/motivation rush again, but you don't technically have to take up base-jumping or wing-walking. Yoga & some time in the weights room is plenty for long term health ;)

creative - this seems to be a missing piece for you. Perhaps setting up your business fulfilled this element previously, but there's plenty of science behind the need to create something new to keep the human brain ticking along in a well balanced way - whether that's music or writing or sewing or flower arranging or whatever other outlet you can think of, pick something & start doing it. You don't have to be good at it, just choose something & start.

spiritual - again, plenty of research that shows that humans just have a void if there's nothing filling this. Doesn't have to be religious, humanist is totally legit, but ties in with the sense of purpose/philosophical why am I here thing. Lots of people use meditation just to stay in the moment & not spiral out on the existential 'what next' route. That can help. Others look at buddhist/ayurvedic/daoist type religions which can be a bit less proscriptive about how to live - or more, but in a much less western way. No-one else can tell you exactly which path will help you find your peace here, but sound a few out...

community/charity/education/giving back - plenty of people have suggested this is where you'll find answers. Given your background, understandably most of your path so far has been focused on overcoming your upbringing, achieving material/financial success & attaining a level of security you never had growing up. But now you've got that 'empty/unmotivated' feeling loads of the trustafaraians also find themselves with.

Again, plenty of research showing that 'paying it forward' is the most likely way to bring satisfaction & fulfilment to your life now. It doesn't sound like you spend a lot of time with young people. MSF would be a good option given your technical skills - and offer you a path to complete your training outside the strictures of the NHS.

But you could also work with the CAB/small business bank/charity fund or grant allocation committees/business skills outreach to schools/university technology accelerators/angel investment funds to apply your proven skills to help a new generation. Which level may depend on how local or global you want to be about it, and how happy/altruistic you are about the wealth you already have vs whether you want to use your skills to invest to increase your yield or simply to educate others etc

The advice to take a year away isn't bad either - you have the means. By all accounts you can't have taken much time 'out' at any point in your life so far. You probably have all manner of emotional & physical stresses locked up in mental patterns & how you hold your body. Do a retreat. Do the somatic releases. Do the CBT/trauma reconciliation. Find a good coach who's taken millionaires along this path with sensible outcomes before (rather than some dodgy svengali who will relieve you of all your cash).

There are no easy answers & no-one can tell you exactly what to do - the balance you need still has to come from inside yourself. But hopefully the above might give you some worthwhile pointers on where & how to start?

Good luck, firmly in the category of 'nice problem to have' for most of us, but still needs to be taken seriously by you so you don't unravel. Hope you can enjoy the journey 🤞

Volunteer work ? Train people up abroad ?

Totally thinking out of the box here but what about using your medical degree for something like Doctors Without Borders, or the hospital ship that travels around Africa? We have a thing in Australia called ‘royal flying doctors’ who fly on planes to remote places to help people. I’d imagine it’s very rewarding and full filling. There’s also Aussie doctors who have travelled to Palestine to work in their hospitals.
I know very random ideas but thought something is working but more for the experience instead of money might be helpful

There is something very odd about this post. However I will answer. Stop feeling sorry for yourself. There is an enormous need in all kinds of voluntary medical work. Use your skills. Go and organise clinics in refugee camps if you want to be in business and finance, Charities certainly need help. Just get off your backside or else you will end up like your brother. As someone said to me when I was going through a long dose of depression, 'you won't get better until you decide you want to. So you either get back on the horse and get back onto the race track or stay in your stable mucking out for ever!' See you in the 3.15pm at Kempton Metaphorical Park!

Read her post. She went into finance and started her own business. So she is highly intelligent and has amazing skills. But is severely depressed. But many posts are giving good advice .

@YourHangryMentor one further thought for you...you're more likely to get relevant advice from peers who have been in the same position. Mumsnet isn't going to be awash with these!

There's an article here where Steven Bartlett talks about advice he got from the founder of Spotify on how to figure out what to do next when he sold his first business. https://www.forbes.com/sites/liendepau/2025/01/22/the-best-advice-steven-bartlett-got-after-selling-his-business/

Are you tapped into any enterprise groups/entrepreneurs networks where you can connect with others who have actually been through this first hand? The Diary of A CEO podcast also has some interesting conversations with business founders about what makes them tick/how they plotted their paths. If you're not a regular listener, maybe have a scout through some of the early ones for ideas? Then perhaps reach out direct to some founders who have been open about going through similar wobble periods?

It's not as uncommon as you may think. Lots of sports people have similar 'oh shit, what do I do NOW' moments after major tournaments, olympics, retirements etc. Not all of them navigate it well.

There are lots of things you can apply yourself to which don't have to revolve around making more money - that will depend somewhat on what your personal & moral definition of 'success' looks like. But figuring out a new challenge to apply yourself to, whether that is totally altruistic or or plotting a path to £50/100/500m of personal wealth will be what gets you out of bed for the next decade.

Personally, I don't see the appeal of just making tonnes of money so you can keep up with a richer set of Jones's with a superyacht/3rd home/jetset lifestyle or whatever - all with the attendant risks to personal security, family kidnappings etc. - just doesn't sound like a great life! There will always be someone richer out there.

So there's probably more value in figuring out who your friends are, how you want to live your life, what you value at the core of your being, and from there considering what you can apply yourself to to make a difference in the world.

If you need a bit of escapism, the film 'Champagne Problems' might take you away from your champagne problem for a couple of hours this Christmas though ;)

I'm curious as to why you disparage your brother , saying he has "fibromyalgia"? ( your inverted commas).
It seems to me that you both just have different responses to trauma. You thrill seek, constantly missing the ultimate dopamine hit that money-making once gave you, now unable to find pleasure in human connection or the small things of daily life. His trauma has been held in his body and made him ill.

Think of ways to help others. It will make you feel a lot better.

get a normal job like working in a cafe or something. You need to be plunged into a different setting, meet different people.

You're goal and accolade driven. I get it. You need the high that achievement brings. Your choices, now that you've arrived at your original goals, are either to engage in therapy to find out who you really are, or to keep accomplishing things.
My dad was a doctor. He then set up a locum service. He then went into anti-ageing clinics. After that, he set up many different businesses. After he had accrued his wealth, he did did a degree in Russian, then Italian, then psychoanalysis, then a degree in philosophy and now is studying jazz piano while attending the gym daily, swimming 3 times a week and skiing at every opportunity.
Driven people need to keep driving to enjoy life.

Similar net worth. I've been you, though it hit me older. I'd say you are depressed and advise therapy. I had a great therapist who not only dealt with depression but was used to working with high achievers/CEOs. Sorted me out in less than a year. Don't let it fester.

I hear the word lazy a lot with those who are ‘naturally academic / clever’ and tbh from my life experience seeing others and reading your replies, this word doesn’t fully fit for what is actually happening with the desire to be ‘lazy’. It’s more closely linked to a desire for non stressful situations, safety, security and routine. Choose a boring healthy routine and stick to it and see how things go for a while; not just days or weeks but months to years. Get rid of the excess adrenaline and cortisol from previous situations and consciously make an effort to not chase too much high energy stuff and it’ll allow the brain to chill out and you can process thibgs better and you’ll see a positive difference in your life. The younger the better so that by the brain gets more solid around 28! If early years were chaotic then there will always be a bit of residual but no one gets everything in life and the sooner you invest in your headspace, the more resiliant you’ll be. I took the less travelled path in my teens and 20’s and found similar issues by your age but 30’s have become easier due to putting in the work in my 20’s; therapy, extensive reading and research, charity work, travelling, studying psychology, philosophy, psychology, eng lit, polotics, computing, languages, business. Nothing is forever; good or bad. Parent yourself and look after yourself and that’s ok. No need to go chasing the next money making high or boundary breaking unless you really want to but i wouldnt recommend it. I know others will not agree with this as this is how society gains so many useful advancements… but you’ve done more than most so take a bit of time. Took me a looong time to accept the change when i clocked out mentally. Still get backlash from my family who don’t like that I’ve removed myself from the status of high achiever. Still struggle myself from the loss of that title and the place in society i had but i actually really love my quiet life and giving myself all the subtle things i was never afforded as a child. I even dont hold myself to things like perfect grammar or spelling when i used to be really nitpicky. Its great to release these expectations and just live. Plan for what you want once the routine starts to show you your options. You’ve got this :)