£3 million liquid net worth at 28, depressed and unable to relate to anyone

[YourHangryMentor]

I am sorry in advance if this sounds insensitive given how some are struggling but I don't know where else to post. I'm at £3 mil liquid now (mainly own business started at 20, if I sold this it would be a considerably higher number) and don't know what the hell I am doing with my life anymore.

Split from DP a few months ago, don't work anymore (I used to work as a medical doctor), spent christmas alone other than a visit to brother. It's almost like life is too easy now and there's no reason to get out of bed anymore, I have little passion for anything and I've still got another 60 years of this to go. When I was younger I was an extremely driven person but now I'm just a shadow of that.

My childhood wasn't bad enough for me to be taken into care but it was terrible and I don't see them anymore. I'm only close to my brother who has always had mental health issues but they have worsened significantly since he was signed off with "fibromyalgia" and does nothing all day.

I want DC but am still in shock from my ex-leaving, it was related to money even though I never criticised/cared about his income at all (consultant dr so not low at all) he kept being insecure and making issues whenever I wanted to do anything expensive and pay for him. I am lucky to have close friends who don't care but have had plenty of nasty/catty responses from random people for no reason whatsoever.

I don't really know where I'm going but I just feel so lost. Wondering if there's anyone here who went through the same thing? Merry christmas.

Not sure what your business is, but would you be interested in mentoring others? Business coaching - as clearly you have been very successful.

I have always suffered from mental health problems, they are far better now than in the past. A few other people suggested volunteering and I have a lot of respect for people who do this but for me it seems kind of performative since I make so much it would do far more good just grinding, making more money and donating that. I'd be doing it for myself not others.

Maybe you need to laze for a bit. Go stay by a beach somewhere warm, and allow your mind and body to absorb a sense of safety.

Keep going with the therapy. Even if you feel that you maybe didnt develop properly, your brain can heal - it just takes time. You can't rush it.

I agree that throwing yourself into a charity would be amazing. A close friend of mine has done this, at a time when she also needed the distraction. If you have the money to step back from paid work for now, do that, give your life a purpose again.

Give it away, and then you can be normal.

My partner didn't work for a year and went insane tbh, sometimes a routine is needed and hobbies too.

You need a hobby, passion, direction. Charity work.

idk if 3m is enough into old age too depends on expenses and pension plans etc.

Partner mech engineering - builds random shit and plans to build random shit. I enjoy gardening and also play with indoor growing, hydro, growing old species of plants/plant breeding, breeding backwards too. Literally the world is full of wonders, I dont know how you can not have that curiosity as a Dr. Many of my family members are and there's always research they're still chasing even in retirement.

Keep going with the therapy. Even if you feel that you maybe didnt develop properly, your brain can heal - it just takes time. You can't rush it.

I agree that throwing yourself into a charity would be amazing. A close friend of mine has done this, at a time when she also needed the distraction. If you have the money to step back from paid work for now, do that, give your life a purpose again.

Money is a means to an end, it should never be the end.

You need to work out what your “end” is. Most people never do, and are able not to dwell
in it by keeping busy earning a crust. You have the luxury of time to dwell on the point of your existence. Philosophers through the ages haven’t worked it out. You have to work it out for yourself - the money is besides the point.

I've done various things over the years but yes starting it felt incredible and I've enjoyed it less as time has gone on. I don't think anything has come close to saving my first £1k when I was about 12/13.

I can't part with it lol and I imagine running a charity is far harder since you're not actually selling/doing anything as a paid service as opposed to looking for good will.

If I'd ever had money enough to give up my present job and retrain, I'd have retrained in law. I wanted to study law when I finished my undergraduate degree, but it wasn't financially possible - I had to get a job straight away. I've always wanted to be a barrister - I think it must be immensely satisfying to spend your days arguing points of law, even if the case isn't interesting in itself, and rewarding if you get justice for your clients.

That's what I'd do in your shoes, and if I was still in my 20s. Sadly probably too late for me now even if I had the money - I don't think my menopausal brain works well enough now I'm in my 50s 😆But at 28, you are still at your peak - you're obviously super-intelligent as a doctor and successful business owner -you can do anything you want

Why not go travelling for a few months or a year, then go back to work. Even if just working in Tesco, to give you a reason to get out of bed.

I think I'd have the same problem as working in the NHS. Any hiccups or unpleasant people and I'd walk on out of there. I'm also a terrible writer/reader, really struggle with papers/essays and afaik there is no way around this in academia.

The last part is just wrong you could do it on £1 mil. £3 mil has a safe withdrawal rate of like £100k increasing with inflation through investing in basic index funds, maybe £80k after tax. More than 99% of the population when none of it needs saving for a pension or similar.

Nowt wrong with that, if others benefit as a side effect

Left after F2 (the 2nd year after med school) so would need to go back but I've toyed with this before. It would be different to say the least, I'll speak to some medical friends about it.

Thankyou

It wouldn’t be performative to work with a charity to help them to develop and implement better mechanisms for making money and using it wisely so that they are self sustaining and can help more people.

I completely relate. I have BPD from a traumatic childhood, and I hate it. I'm not rich but I know I'd still be depressed even if I was. Have you considered some philanthropy? Maybe for a charity that relates to your childhood? For example, id pick women's aid or a charity for DV. You might find a passion in doing that. I hope you're okay though, depression sucks regardless of your tax bracket.

I think I'd rather be you than me tbh. You could set up a charity, retrain into something completely different, travel, start training for a marathon. What's your medical speciality? Could you work as a locum? Then you don't need to worry about NHS politics and you can just clock in and clock out.

What's your passion? Do you have the urge to help others or do you want to develop yourself in some way?

For a charity would you want to actively help people or would a campaigning role suit you?

I worked a couple years and quit after F2.

I searched before posting this and there is a 23yo who posted similar but they worked in music industry, that was not me. That poster got a lot of nasty comments as well which I'm very happy I didn't get so thanks everyone for being so kind.

Merry Christmas.

If you'll accept some advice, the solution to several of your issues is to find a wider purpose to your life in using your time, talents and money to help others, increase the net happiness in the world or reduce the net suffering. You are in danger of spiralling into depression because you are turned inwards on yourself, you don't feel a need to strive for anything for your own sake.

Be ambitious in your goal for making the world a better place. It shouldn't be something easy to achieve - if you achieve it before you die then you weren't ambitious enough. However, if you dedicate your life to a goal, spend the time and money and talents you have in going as far as possible within your lifetime, and leave a legacy that others will be able to use in order to continue the work after you, then your life will be something to be truly proud of.

And I am 99% sure that by following this path you will along the way meet and connect with someone special, who you'd never have met if you were actively looking for them.

How about joining a gym for starters, joining some classes (as light or as energetic as you like), and getting some routine back into your life? Exercise is great for improving mental health, and I have made some great friends in the gym.
Secondly, I wonder if you would be suited to a medical position in a Clinical Research Organisation (CRO) where you would be able to manage teams, manage budgets, perform medical review, and help contribute to the emergence of new treatments? Alternatively, I know people who worked as engineers/doctors their whole lives, and now work as part-time receptionists/supermarket workers, as they craved the simplicity.
Whatever you decide to do, I wish you the best of luck. It sounds like you have worked so hard to get where you are, and now you are struggling to enjoy it.

Wishing you a Merry Christmas and a fantastic New Year.

Yes, OP. 😊
You are very young though, so try to revive your motivation, for yourself.
I know, easier said.

No. Mum was making a lot from bennies and child support but it was spent inappropriately and there wasn't the basic stuff like sufficient food or heating.

Receiving a load of money doesn't really help much, average rich kid is just gonna spaff it up the wall.

You've achieved a lot of material success, unfortunately that hasn't satisfied you. There's something missing. Probably something emotional and/or spiritual so start looking into that. Plus speak to your own GP about your depression.

@ResusciAnnie I'm with you on the posted before bit.

You need direction, look for a IFA that help you plan