£3 million liquid net worth at 28, depressed and unable to relate to anyone

[YourHangryMentor]

I am sorry in advance if this sounds insensitive given how some are struggling but I don't know where else to post. I'm at £3 mil liquid now (mainly own business started at 20, if I sold this it would be a considerably higher number) and don't know what the hell I am doing with my life anymore.

Split from DP a few months ago, don't work anymore (I used to work as a medical doctor), spent christmas alone other than a visit to brother. It's almost like life is too easy now and there's no reason to get out of bed anymore, I have little passion for anything and I've still got another 60 years of this to go. When I was younger I was an extremely driven person but now I'm just a shadow of that.

My childhood wasn't bad enough for me to be taken into care but it was terrible and I don't see them anymore. I'm only close to my brother who has always had mental health issues but they have worsened significantly since he was signed off with "fibromyalgia" and does nothing all day.

I want DC but am still in shock from my ex-leaving, it was related to money even though I never criticised/cared about his income at all (consultant dr so not low at all) he kept being insecure and making issues whenever I wanted to do anything expensive and pay for him. I am lucky to have close friends who don't care but have had plenty of nasty/catty responses from random people for no reason whatsoever.

I don't really know where I'm going but I just feel so lost. Wondering if there's anyone here who went through the same thing? Merry christmas.

I’m intrigued as to how you build a multi million business in less than a decade. Can you expand on that?

3million is great but not enough to retire and never work again unless you are going to be v frugal

Only on MNs 🙄

@YourHangryMentor you've got a lot of amazing qualities.

With your medical skills, are you allowed to offer anything free of charge? Or does the legal framework make that impossible?

So it would be like setting up in private practice, but without the fee. I totally get that you don't want the bureaucracy of the NHS. But could you do something private and your fee would be zero, so it would be a massive contribution to society in that way.

I mean, you could even do it quietly, by contact only or something. I realise there may be a lot of holes in this plan but if anyone can make it work, it seems like it would be you

Im sure it would be harder, that would be what would create the challenge!

I only finished foundation (the first 2 general years) so don't have one yet, unless I went for GP I've got a long way to go. I would be a bit rusty but I'm sure that would be possible.

Don't really have any, it used to be making money but now I've done that I don't know anymore.

A few people have suggested Doctors Without Borders which sounds more interesting than bog standard NHS work, going to have a look into that.

You need to find a purpose, do you have a pet? I find having someone else to care for keeps me going when life feels unbearable

My 2p...

Great you have the therapist- check they are still challenging you and meeting your needs.
second find a good life coach.

You need to 'set your course" - by this i mean work out what you intrinsically enjoy and what you want.

E.g.
Children, imo give immense joy and purpose (if circs arent suboptimal which for you they wont be)

You could have kids solo....kids without a partner is totally achievable for you.

You could do what I did at 29 and say "i dont want a sperm donor, i want the whole package or nothing. I made a conscious decision to deprioritise my career and focused on OLD. I treated it like a part time job. It took 3 years but I did it!

Work
What parts do I enjoy (lofe coach excellent for this
E.g. if you "a builder" maybe consider selling your company and set up another company.
If you like advise giving you could sell and go into a consulting role.

Personal Dev
Do you want to learn something?
Do pottery? Master yoga?
health is wealth imo. Your baody starts going tovhell in a handbasket at 40 which i did not know!! (Work on flexibility, muscle ratio, strength, endurance)
In you shoes id def have mini goals around that irrespective of everything else.
Travel wise Make a bucket list of destinations and start crossing them off.

There would be nothing stopping this legally but I'd need to train for a good while longer before I could do anything of value.

And also train as a doctor. I’m puzzled too.

Look at Tony Robbins - life coach specialising in high achievers who wobble and lose focus once they’ve achieved their goals. Worked with Tiger Woods and similar. He’s got a good simple approach to evaluating life satisfaction on I think 5 factors- job/purpose, love, community/belonging/giving back, maybe family… can’t remember, but it helped me when I was in a rut. He does seminars with coaching sessions and has loads of books etc

I think you need a project or a focus. Is there anything you're passionate about? Personally I've worked with people who were previously homeless and innovative housing for homeless people interests me. Also people with mental health issues can wait years for the right therapy or not get it at all. These are the kinds of projects I might be thinking about setting up or sponsoring if I was very wealthy, maybe in conjunction with a local charity.

You might want to consider a job coach on top of your therapist. It's a different focus so wouldn't be duplicating what you're getting with your therapist. I got one between jobs and she was such a help. In my dream job now and made the switch whilst having another 40 more years of work ahead of me. Career coach/job coach rather than life coach which in my experience isn't as focused on purpose and is more like therapy (only in my experience).

What do you enjoy? You are in an incredible position to be able to prioritise what makes you happy and gets you excited.

At 28, I was also in a position to not need to bring in much of an income to survive (not your sort of rich, but just enough family help that I had options). I quit my job and went travelling for a year and worked abroad. I met Dh through this work. I did a PhD. I did work I really enjoyed and got me excited. Got married, had dc, we’ve been fortunate with business decisions that we are financially quite comfortable now (I’m in my mid 40s). I’ve left my previous career and am retraining in something that I’m passionate about.

You don’t have to do the same thing forever. But you’re young enough still that you may not even know ‘what you want to be when you grow up’. Take time out from life. Go travelling. Go learn to scuba dive. Volunteer saving orangutans. Or learn mandarin. Or do a 6 month yoga course. Do something to shake things up, change the scenery, meet people, learn something new. Life isn’t static. What makes you tick now will be different than what makes you tick in 20 years. You can do both. You’re in a wonderful position to be able to experiment and take risks and not just survive.

boo and indeed hoo

Can I ask what your business is OP? Just interested for dd1 who is dr but looking to do something else .

I've not started looking to actively yet but I feel like you're onto something here. With previous partners I waited for them to pursue me instead of actively looking and maybe being less selective than I should have been, ex was always kind to people but he always had a massive ego.

Regarding the last bit I could look for new hobbies. I spent too much time watching TV than I like to admit though I do plenty of exercise, at least 2 hours a day on average.

In your situation I think I would speak to an IFA with a view to selling the business, investing wisely and going travelling. You sound burnt out… take some time off to relax and explore your options. Good luck 😉

I get bored so easily. I've tried ignoring it, fighting it and pretending I'm happy with a great work life balance even if it means a dull job. Finally in my 40s I've embraced it and used it in my work to do demanding jobs that I switch every 1-2 years to keep me energised. I've switched to nhs as there's so many different things you can do and worked my way up. I know you say nhs isn't for you and that's fine but with £3m in the bank you can afford to experiment and find what works for you. Maybe consultancy? That's why I'd do if I could afford to take a risk and miss a few pay packets.

I have a child and she's wonderful but she doesn't scratch my ambitious itch and I wouldn't expect her to. Making sure she can do the things she loves and never is hungry or cold is an extra reason for me to work though and that spurs me on

How about volunteering abroad for a while? Like medicine sans frontiersI

Please tell me this is AI or a joke?

And have 3m liquid net worth but has not yet sold her business and does not need to work despite the business still being owned by her.

The business must either run itself or she has good people working for her.

Selling stuff online, I don't want to be more specific than that sorry. I got the marketing down really well which allowed it to grow rapidly.

The hard thing is you need to think of something before everyone else and then have the courage/commitment to see it through.

Agree with people who have said it's time for you to invest in yourself - time and money.

It sounds like you could with a bit of a radical reset before you make any drastic moves like seling the business. I highly recommend the Hoffman Processs - something like that might work for your situation.

What's wrong with doing it for your own benefit though?
Would you need to get your registration back? I'd work on that then be a volunteer doctor somewhere. Even if the main beneficiary is you, well, what's the problem with that? Others are still benefiting from your doctoring as well.

I think it’s really interesting that you start your post by explaining that you have a lot of money and yet you’re still unhappy. So your premise is that having money should make you happy. That’s completely understandable, as modern capitalist society has convinced pretty much everybody that more money means more. Bu, of course what people have discovered over the years is money does not equal happiness.

But what it does mean is you do have the means and the freedom to now go and figure that out. All of the suggestions of therapy are spot on. Best of luck. You will dig out of this rut.