£3 million liquid net worth at 28, depressed and unable to relate to anyone

[YourHangryMentor]

I am sorry in advance if this sounds insensitive given how some are struggling but I don't know where else to post. I'm at £3 mil liquid now (mainly own business started at 20, if I sold this it would be a considerably higher number) and don't know what the hell I am doing with my life anymore.

Split from DP a few months ago, don't work anymore (I used to work as a medical doctor), spent christmas alone other than a visit to brother. It's almost like life is too easy now and there's no reason to get out of bed anymore, I have little passion for anything and I've still got another 60 years of this to go. When I was younger I was an extremely driven person but now I'm just a shadow of that.

My childhood wasn't bad enough for me to be taken into care but it was terrible and I don't see them anymore. I'm only close to my brother who has always had mental health issues but they have worsened significantly since he was signed off with "fibromyalgia" and does nothing all day.

I want DC but am still in shock from my ex-leaving, it was related to money even though I never criticised/cared about his income at all (consultant dr so not low at all) he kept being insecure and making issues whenever I wanted to do anything expensive and pay for him. I am lucky to have close friends who don't care but have had plenty of nasty/catty responses from random people for no reason whatsoever.

I don't really know where I'm going but I just feel so lost. Wondering if there's anyone here who went through the same thing? Merry christmas.

I donate to charity already but I'm not at the point yet where I could easily fund something without a serious hit to my finances. In the future though, yes. :)

@YourHangryMentor can you expand though on how you developed & manufactured the product? How you got the press & algorithm traction to your online web shop etc? No one ever discusses this part of building a business.

Money doesnt define a person]

yet your thread is about how rich you are

I think you need to forget the money ( apparently it doesnt buy happiness ) and use some of it to unlock what's happening in your head that blocking you

You seem to be making great strides with your therapist but perhaps there are other therapies out there that will work alongside ?

I wish you all the best

I’ve seen something very similar to this before ….

The money gives you freedom to pursue something you are passionate about and/or something that will enahnce your future prospects even further. I am a bit confused in honesty how you are clever enough to be a doctor, dynamic and evidently enterprising enough to start a multi million pound business yet cant think of something that gets you out of bed in the morning!

So start up a charity/philanthropic arm, then. That'll be new.

OK, if you do well, you'll become part of the conspiracy theorists' schema, but that'll show you're really making a difference.

Same. It's so transparent

OLD i really dont regret. I will warn you i had to wade through a sea of human shit to find him though 😅
Theres tonnes of threads about it on here but a lot say the same as I found which is when you meet one of "the ones" its just really nice and really easy. Which sounds so lame and vanilla but its not its really lovely. Its secure its comforting its authentic. Its something you can trust and rely on....I was never thinking "why am I on read?" "Why hasn't he replied?" I just KNEW if I text texted at 8am and he hadn't replied by noon and it was on read he was in a meeting or something. I was never anxious or left wondering. He was super consistent.
Keep that in mind if you do decide to actively date.
Also dont reveal the full extent of your wealth for a while and look to meet someone who eother has wealth (earned or generational) or has "eqivalent sucess in their own sphere"

Hobbywise you mention depression I really recommend stuff that lets you get into "flow" which sounds woo but is not.
You will be surprised at how this improves mood vs rotting on sofa avec Netflix....😅

Things that can do this are crochet, wreath making/flower arranging or pottery... theres a million other things though...
Jigsaws, Sequin art... paint by numbers (which i actually loved doing pre kids!!!)

Inhad serious health problems and 3 x heart surgeries this year. Im 40 with a 3 and 1 yo... it really made re-evaluate things...this isnt a rehearsal.
Money is energy and You have a fuck tonne of it!! (Lucky you!)
Now you just need to decide how to direct it...

Just did it. Was fed up of being broke so grafted incredibly hard and disregarded everyone around me. I would not be able to do it now. It was perfect mix of natural giftedness and a positive reaction to a terrible environment leading to extreme work ethic as well as high risk tolerance combined with extreme patience.

Sounds like you need a complete change and if money isn’t an issue why not go work / volunteer for a few months for a charity like medcin non frontiers (please excuse the spelling) or if you don’t want to do that go teach English in China or Japan. I did it, met my husband there it’s great fun!

Sorry you are feeling down, but you’re in a good place and can make it better x

OP - you’re clearly a lovely person and very bright and able, what hobbies do you have? Could you for example take a small chunk of your liquid assets and spread your passion with those less fortunate? You could do wonders with 50k in a local community.

anything you’d like to study in uni?

could you buy a small place in the country and farm/grow ?

Honestly the world is your oyster - don’t be afraid to go out of your comfort zone

beat of luck to you

Can you offer your skills as a dr in some sort of volunteer situation, maybe abroad or in a woman’s refuge or a homeless shelter ( dunno if that’s possible)

I know you said no to volunteering, but there are some roles that legally have to be done by volunteers eg school governor/trustee. It’s not about providing money, fundraising etc legally they have to have a governing body run by volunteers.

I’ve worked in the NHS as an AHP all my life and I don’t see it. To successfully complete medical training, and then junior hospital posts you need physical stamina, the time to revise and keep taking exams, you need people skills ( but admittedly a lot of doctors lack these) , you need hours in the job ( 72 hour weeks etc). How do you combine that with building a multi million business? I’ve never known any doctor to pull that off. Closest to it are probably the trendy media doctors that seem to populate daytime TV but they are not “ selling stuff online”.

Bless you. Christmas is a hard time for us with fucked up families. You're doing amazing though, I'm 28 & nc with both parents. It's really difficult is t it

Sure, didn't seem to be much competition with what I sold and I presented it all very well/explained how to use the products I was selling. Bought generic stuff and resold didn't make too much, now make a bit more selling own branded stuff but still not insane profit margins and still sell generic stuff. The thing I did really well was marketing, spamming stuff on social media, forums etc and paying people to advertise with affiliate links.

I hope that is somewhat helpful? I think a lot of it is just getting started, lots don't even give it a go.

if you really are in this position at 28, I say go away for a full year Luxury around the World, Do everything you have always wanted to do. At 28 without children, elderly parents and at least 30 years of 'business' ahead of you. Just turn yourself off for 1 whole year and you have no responsibility even if your year of 'excess' cost your £500 K it does not matter !

One thing you said that resonated with me was about suspecting you are naturally lazy but conditions pushed you to excel.

I didn't have the best childhood home environment for various reasons, but my academic abilities made it possible for me to leave home as young as possible, and was able to progress rapidly in my career with the motivation of never having to rely on my family or struggle for money again.

Then I got to a point where I had my house sorted, I could comfortably afford everything I wanted (and I never wanted luxury goods or cars or holidays, but I mean I never had to think about whether I could afford to go out or go on holiday or buy something) and I didn't really feel the motivation to push ahead, as well as other behaviours meaning I didn't progress anyway.

Then there were basically empty years of drinking too much and enjoying day to day stuff but not doing anything worthwhile.

The thing that changed everything was having children. I am not suggesting that's the solution to your life and you just go out and have children, but not much else in life provides that absolute motivation to do things as that does.

I wanted to be a doctor. I left it too late. If I was 20 something I would love to go to university and do it

You need structure and ambition and something to get out of bed for everyday. Richard Brandon and Bill Gates didn't stop working after making their millions, they kept going because they recognised that sitting around doing nothing for years on end is not good.

You don't have to work. There are other things to fill your days with. If you want children you could start working towards becoming a foster carer or adopting. Or you could volunteer in some capacity with children or even get a job for a few hours per week, not with the aim or making money but with the aim of doing something fulfilling with your time.

Or you could go back to university and study. I always say that if I could give up work I would go to university and study Vulcanology and linguistics. Not because I want to work in the area but because it interests me and I want to know more.

Being a doctor doesn't mean working for the NHS or even working in the UK. There is plenty of private or charity work for doctors in the UK and abroad that you could look in to.

Think about what interests you and fulfils you and find a way to incorporate it in to your life.

This because i have known plenty of Wealthy People at 28 who have lost it all by 50 completely washed up, and never used their chance to indulge. Even if you are 'loaded' at 50/60 it is nothing like the fun you have with money under 30 !

This is true about entrepreneurs. There’s a reason someone is able to an entrepreneur, as it is usually comorbidwith workaholism. I’d find something that makes you angry. Like water poverty, etc. More niche the better. Research it. Then see how you can start getting involved. If you’ve been this successful by yourself, you might be able to make a big difference but you need a driver like anger and injustice to grab you’re attention.

also don’t know why you “” fibromyalgia? Is this a dismissive doctor thing or a pissed off sister thing - even if your brother doesn’t have it, he needs to find a reason for his inability to get up and go. And deep depression shares symptom. Plus that’s what you’re looking for by asking this here - an answer as to why you feel this way. You were worried people were going to dismiss you for being a millionaire but feeling sad and unhappy. Perhaps this is a projection thing?

I also think you should do some volunteering - you could be such an asset on a charity board. They are desperate for well educated and business savy trustees who have time and interest.

My friend is in a similar position and actually quite happy and chill with his life. Has a regular routine including sports most morning, has a beautiful house near a beach and is very healthy (PT, nutritionist etc). He works as a consultant for a start up. His money is parked in trust funds and he lives from the interest. Not an extravagant life but he is content and healthy. occasional trips abroad or concerts.

Why so nasty?

The first thing that stood out to me was your brothers “fibromyalgia” which seemed somewhat dismissive of him. Your ex got fed up of you wanting to do expensive things and pay for him and your mum got loads of money from ‘bennies’ which is assume means benefits. It does look a bit like you look down on people who haven’t (in your eyes) been as driven and independent as you. Combine this with your comment about not seeing the point in volunteering because you can just give them money… points me towards you not yet seeing and taking pleasure in the simple things despite the fact that you have realised (I think), that money doesn’t bring happiness. I doubt most people volunteer so they can make money for organisations and charities. Are you lonely? Can you do more to help/be with your brother- take pleasure in the simple things that don’t cost money. Volunteer somewhere with him if he is able to. Why not try it?