In trouble at work- over a quiche

[Coffeandtoast]

Good morning

So on Friday we had a little gathering in the office at work. We all agreed to take in various food items and my contribution was quiches and sausage rolls.

so I took four quiches. At the end of the gathering there was one whole quiche left unopened.we agreed that we’d just share out the untouched food

I said that I’d just take the unopened quiche as we would eat it at home. In then comes Patricia, an older woman who I generally find quite difficult to work with. She’s self opinionated and knows everything. I generally try hard to get on with her but she’s a massive PITA. So she said something along the lines of “ you can’t just take the quiche until we’ve discussed who’s taking what” . I explained that I wasn’t to fussed about any of it and that she could just take the quiche, she carried on with her chuntering and huffing and puffing at me. So this is where it went pear shaped, I just snapped and shouted- “ just take the cunting quiche, Patricia”

it’s all kicked off and I have a HR meeting tomorrow regarding my foul language!!!!

Or even ‘the wretched quiche’?

Must say I do sometimes wonder how women who’d probably describe themselves as feminists, are happy to use a word meaning female genitalia, as a term of extreme abuse.

Goodness. I'm going to say that I've met Patricias of all ages. It's a really lovely name. It's not been fashionable of late, but it's quite classic.
I've never fallen out with one over a quiche, mind you

I dislike foul language too ...but in this case totally justified...and hilarious ...using a verb as a noun . Brill 👍

OK then. You have your opinion, I have mine. The fact that my opinion has been taken out of context and compared to things which have no relevance to views I’ve expressed is no more than I expect of MN these days.

Who overheard? Is there any chance you can say she must have misheard you and you actually said ‘just take the country quiche, Patricia’
Always deny in these situations unless there was a a witness.

www.recipe-diaries.com/trisha-yearwoods-country-quiche/

Patricia cooks quiche!! 😁

I've mentioned this on another thread.

The school didn't tell me until after I'd signed my contract that my predecessor was staying on at the school.

He'd had an affair with an NQT and his wife had found out. (Apparently, some pupils had phoned his wife and asked for the girlfriend by name...) Cue the "nervous breakdown" and "depression". An agreement had been made that he could take a step down on a conserved salary.

I reckon that he and his pals had expected the school to say "Nooooooo. Stay in post!"

Anyway, there was clearly resentment towards me and all sorts of dirty tricks. e.g. On my first day, I was told that the keys to my room had disappeared..I'd be called out to another class to deal with discipline and would return to my room just as my predecessor was disappearing down the corridor...and would find my door locked.

I told my HT and - God bless him - he believed me. (I was worried that he'd think that I was loopy.) He had every lock in the dept changed and I was given a master key.

Nevertheless, the predecessor and his cronies persisted in trying to put me in my place.

One day, I was sitting in the staffroom when a maths teacher asked for help with a crossword puzzle. The room was full. One member of the SLT was sitting opposite me, reading The Scotsman.

My predecessor wasn't there: he had signed himself off with stress yet again.

I said "Oh sorry - I've always been rubbish at cryptic crosswords."

Predecessor's crony: "[Predecessor] would have known the answer."

I heard my voice saying "I might be shite, but at least I'm at my work."

Silence. Opposite me, I saw the Assistant Headteacher's Scotsman shaking.

To this day, I maintain that I didn't mean to say what I did - it was as if an outside force had taken me over. It stopped the harassment, however.

😂 'just take the cunting quiche Patricia' is now the line I shall use when I no longer wish to keep debating pointless shit with someone

No , no dont fall for it

I’m not sure why you replied to me then. I hope OP wasn’t unwise enough to put her colleague’s real name on the thread.

Nope I’m not including @WearyAuldWumman in that admonishment. I was agreeing with her. People do have different workplace experiences. Which is exactly my point. The problem on MN has always been, and continues to be that if it’s not the experience of a particular poster, then that poster feels entitled to wade in with insults. I worked office based for forty years, and IME older members of staff had a certain air of entitlement. As though their opinion was the only one that mattered, and younger members of staff should defer to that, regardless of whether they were right or wrong. OP was wrong to swear as she did, but the fact remains that even though the issue had been resolved as far as OP was concerned, Patricia pushed her to the point of losing it. I’ve seen it many times with older members of staff, and it probably accounts for the fact that Patricia went to HR, despite the fact that she was partly responsible for the spat. This is from experience, not conjecture and the fact that posters derive from that, that I’m ageist, misogynistic and support the use of the ‘Karen’ slur, kind of makes my point for me.

No, @Rosscameasdoody .
My point was her point.
Our experiences were very different, but for some unfathomable reason....you only criticised me!
Is it just a case of agreeing with what you believe to be true, rather than factoring in different experiences?
Interesting 🤔
I do wish that people would realise that their experiences may be different to other people's!!
😎

I'm genuinely glad for you.

I started working in '84. I got the same from one particular woman in my department when I was a probationer. (I was 24. She was around 40.) It was pretty horrible.

My first day, she cornered me in the staffroom. "What kind of degree do you have?"

"Oh. Er...It's a degree in --- but I'm dual qualified: I did my second subject for two years."

"Yes, but was it Ordinary or Honours?"

"Er...Honours."

"What did you get?"

"Only a 2:1. Didn't manage a first."

"Oh. That's why you got the job. [Name of authority] likes people with good degrees."

She then turned on her heel and swept away.

There were other incidents, but that sticks in my mind because it was my first day at work.

Footnote: she took early retirement around the same time that I got my PT post. In spite of the fact that she had retired, the region took her to the GTCS to ensure that she could never take up supply teaching - she was struck off for incompetence: it made the front page of the Daily Record. (Must have been a slow news day.)

It's mean of me, but I was so happy that she got her comeuppance. Being a young teacher can be hard enough: she set out to make my life a misery at times.

I'm probably saying more than I should, but I'm fully retired and no longer on the teaching register.

@WearyAuldWumman I'm sorry you've had such a different experience to me.
I'm not criticising you: I'm just responding to a poster who seems to think that yours is the only experience, and mine doesn't seem to hold validity.
My point: all workplaces are different. There are lovely and toxic people everywhere.

Yes I clearly replied to the wrong person

All this nonsense over a quiche!😂
I'd like to hear Patricia's side, though! 😋

It varied from school to school. In another school, all older staff were lovely towards younger staff members.

ETA In my final post, I hope that I was supportive of younger staff.

I wasn’t criticising, I was commenting. And if I got it wrong, then I apologise but my whole point is that everyone’s experience is different - which is what I was called out on by @moonstone20. My experience wasn’t that theirs, which automatically makes me ageist and misogynistic. It’s nonsense. And yes, if posters on MN would only realise that if they haven’t experienced something,, it doesn’t necessarily mean that someone else is wrong in their own experience, then maybe derails like this wouldn’t happen.

I'm sure that you were! I always was. It's tough in teaching, especially starting out.
I always kept my eye on the younger ones, just gave them a bit of support!

#justice4thequiche!

Right.
You can see the exchange between me and @WearyAuldWumman . Different experiences, both senior women in schools, both respectful of each other's take on our particular situations.
Oh, and both supportive of younger staff. 😉

Can you point out where I said that this posters’ viewpoint was the only experience or that yours isn’t valid ? I’ve explained myself and actually apologised if I misconstrued what you said.

I posted that before your apology.
Gracious of you.
Thanks

This is not real.

No adult with an iota of sense, who supposedly holds a professional job, would use that language at work.

I used to work in a gym where the assistant manager used to take women members home after his classes and sleep with them. He also boasted that he shagged (his words) a PT client in the consultation room in the previous gym he worked in. I didn't see this but two younger personal trainers in the gym witnessed one of the male PTs pointing out someone on the gym floor and one of them went - I've shagged her - and the assistant manager said - so have I.

(He's part of the reason I left). I've worked in jobs where so called professional people did more than say cunting to another persons face - and faced no disciplinary