In trouble at work- over a quiche

[Coffeandtoast]

Good morning

So on Friday we had a little gathering in the office at work. We all agreed to take in various food items and my contribution was quiches and sausage rolls.

so I took four quiches. At the end of the gathering there was one whole quiche left unopened.we agreed that we’d just share out the untouched food

I said that I’d just take the unopened quiche as we would eat it at home. In then comes Patricia, an older woman who I generally find quite difficult to work with. She’s self opinionated and knows everything. I generally try hard to get on with her but she’s a massive PITA. So she said something along the lines of “ you can’t just take the quiche until we’ve discussed who’s taking what” . I explained that I wasn’t to fussed about any of it and that she could just take the quiche, she carried on with her chuntering and huffing and puffing at me. So this is where it went pear shaped, I just snapped and shouted- “ just take the cunting quiche, Patricia”

it’s all kicked off and I have a HR meeting tomorrow regarding my foul language!!!!

There are workplaces and workplaces.
It would not have been out of place in mine, where people (men) have actually called one another cunts, and not in a jocular or friendly way either.
It's a newsroom, tempers can get frayed. I don't recall any aplogies being made.
(Although no one has ever called me a cunt, they wouldn't dare...)

Hahahahahaha take the cunting quiche Patricia is fucking brilliant! I am glad you told her straight. Who made her the buffet boss? Silly cow. I mean I think what will go in your favour is that you didn’t call her a cunt, you actually called the quiche a cunt 😂 obviously you’re going to get a slap on the wrist (informal warning maybe) but think of it this way, how many times do people in your workplace swear? Because cunting / cunt are just foul language the same as any other swear word. If you get a telling off then next time Patricia (or any other complete twats) say a swear word you get them reported asap because fair is fair. I’m sure people were delighted when you said it, work place hero.

This was an excellent read... Good luck with HR!!!!

Really made me chuckle!!!

Now would be a really good time for you to develop Tourette’s overnight….

Unnecessary swearing. Got nothing to do with the quiche. The problem was your swearing and nothing else.

When I had a professional office job we all talked like that (except senior management). When some people are sweary and it's OK, I can see how you might blurt it out to the wrong person, especially an irritating, controlling person at an end-or-year kind of thing where your guard is down.

IME this kind of person doesn't give a shit about the quiche, they just don't like that decisions have been made without them and they've missed out on a chance to interfere and push everyone around. Saying have the quiche doesn't help because there's nothing to interfere with and control and they don't like that. Then you get exasperated and say something and you're the bad guy. This kind of shite is why I WFH!

@Coffeandtoast come back here this minute and tell us if Pat took the quiche! No actually tell us more than that, I mean was she aghast but stuffed the quiche into her waiting Tupperware? Or was she so upset she couldn't face it and had a sausage roll instead? Did everyone rally round her and the quiche, forming a circle so that you couldn't snaffle it back? Or were they too busy rolling around? I think you've only told us half the story:

Hope you’re not dismissed, you’ll need to find another job to earn a crust!

😂
She'll have egg on her face

What about older black people?

Bazinga!

Dunno about work rules so i might be giving wrong advice .....i'd certainly apologise for the bad language BUT I for one got absolutely sick of difficult people not being called out at work..... far too much pussyfooting around and treading on egg shells coz it' s too scary/ difficult/ draining to confront these types. I'd tell HR what 'Patricia' is like and how you find her difficult and give some examples. Say that while you completely understand and accept that your behaviour was abdolutely wrong, you nevertheless want to have it recognised thtat Patricia often exhibits unreasonable and taxing behaviour which has negative implications for the smooth running of your workplace.

What about them ? It would depend on the evidence wouldn’t it ? Still doesn’t alter the fact that age discrimination is not the same thing as racial discrimination. And if you’re talking about from the point of view of the behaviour of an older black person being similar to that of ‘Patricia’ then again it would depend on whether the evidence supported that behaviour as being down to race or the assumption that age automatically brings wisdom.

I’m sorry to disappoint you but i’m afraid it is. I wish it wasn’t.

I'd go with the 'country' defence. You can claim a slip of the tongue.

I ended up taking it. It was delicious

Go big or go home

I really don't like the c word and find it really offensive and think that in particular women shouldn't use it. I also don't like swearing generally but particularly in a work environment.

But seriously - you said "Patricia" is an older women. Is she really so pathetic that she can't say " that's a really offensive expression and you shouldn't be using it in a professional environment" and move on? Sounds like a playground where she runs to teacher.

And it was your quiche, so of course you could take it home again.

OP, I would be prepared to write a full written apology to the quiche. It was the quiche you insulted after all, not Patricia or whatever her name was. That would be my defense anyway. However, as the quiche is no longer with us, I expect the matter is resolved either way.

Schroedinger's quiche.

Apparently it was cunting chutney flavour.

I’d tell HR it was a chutney quiche and Patricia misheard? The poor dear should get her hearing tested? Because you’d never ever say that word!

I don't love the word but if anyone should use it, we have more right to than men. They don't get to use our **s as an insult! That's er my right. If you know what I mean

Probably just exasperation at unhinged shouty potty-mouthed colleague.

Why are they unhinged?

A huge fuss over nothing in my view. HR have better things to do than deal with something like this because someone said the word cunting

If someone said that to me I would laugh and get on with it

I wouldn't be trying to get someone the sack