In trouble at work- over a quiche

[Coffeandtoast]

Good morning

So on Friday we had a little gathering in the office at work. We all agreed to take in various food items and my contribution was quiches and sausage rolls.

so I took four quiches. At the end of the gathering there was one whole quiche left unopened.we agreed that we’d just share out the untouched food

I said that I’d just take the unopened quiche as we would eat it at home. In then comes Patricia, an older woman who I generally find quite difficult to work with. She’s self opinionated and knows everything. I generally try hard to get on with her but she’s a massive PITA. So she said something along the lines of “ you can’t just take the quiche until we’ve discussed who’s taking what” . I explained that I wasn’t to fussed about any of it and that she could just take the quiche, she carried on with her chuntering and huffing and puffing at me. So this is where it went pear shaped, I just snapped and shouted- “ just take the cunting quiche, Patricia”

it’s all kicked off and I have a HR meeting tomorrow regarding my foul language!!!!

Sounds like Patricia would drive a saint mad.

But you are going to have to apologise profusely, to both HR & Pat, and mind how you go in future.

But you should get points for quiches and sausage rolls, good contributions I would say.

This is why I think this didn’t happen. ‘Patricia’ and ‘cunting quiche’ in one thread is just a bit too Mumsnet.

On another note, does anyone else remember when Jade Goody revealed her middle names to be ‘quiche Lorraine’?

I mean, I’m as sweary as they come and like a good laugh along with the next person, but I’d be really shocked if a colleague said that to me.

It’s not about the quiche, it’s about your language. I hope you are reprimanded.

Quiche that job goodbye.

I agree she sound like a PITA and your reaction is pretty funny to me. But unfortunately, swearing at a colleague is a big no no and as much as it pains me to say it, she has a leg to stand on in terms of bringing it to HR.

I would just apologise with a subtly exaggerated tone, make lots of references to the quiche for comic effect and present an extra quiche as part of your apology, gift wrapped if possible.

I totally get your frustration, Patricia sounds annoying. I like a good swear, but even I wouldn't use the c-word at work.

I totally get your frustration, Patricia sounds annoying. I like a good swear, but even I wouldn't use the c-word at work.

😂

This is hilarious.
Patricia is a cunt.
Of course you should take home what you have brought.
Next year I would take in just a bag of lettuce leaves.
Fuck Patricia.
I would then stuff my face at home.
Better still, arrange a get together with a few trusted colleagues and have a meal then.
As for the meeting with HR, I would apologise profusely . Can you blame it on peri menopause op? Then tell HR how you really are not feeling yourself a lately. How stressful you are finding it at work blah blah. They will back off.

The cheese and caramelised onion quiche 🤤
I would argue you called the quiche a cunt, not Patricia…

No how is taking what you bought back fair? The fair way is to agree on a split of what is left otherwise people end up spending more than others and that creates bad work vibes. What if you always bring the popular stuff so never get any leftovers? If it was agreed the team would discuss the spilt then I am #teampatricia

But I really wasn’t bothered either way, I was quite happy for someone else to have the fucking quiche!!

It's always the issue but really not worth fighting over.

I would have picked up the quiche and said “as I bought this I’m taking it back home and we’ll have it for tea” not left it on the table for people to argue over. My response to Patricia would have been “it’s my quiche, I bought it, you can get one at X if you want one”. You need to be assertive without using bad language. The bad language wasn’t acceptable.

Reminds me of the ‘it’s a fucking goat’ video 😂
(which I can’t get to load)

Yeah, resorting to shouting and foul language was not appropriate in the workplace. Am sure you were hoping to get a load of ‘cool girl’ cheerleading here, but you were out of order - no matter how irritating your work colleague was. The F and C words are never appropriate in the workplace and only an idiot would use them without expecting consequences.

You need to apologise, accept you will likely get written up in your HR records for this one and learn to walk away from annoying colleagues when your hackles rise.

ETA not sure why everyone is focusing on the quiche - Op is not being called HR because she was arguing over the quiche. It’s the language that is at issue.

I'm HR. Due to MNet, there is a very small minority of staff about whom I privately think "someone must have left the gate to the cunt farm open".

My only irritation would be that a christmas bring and share lunch got out of hand. Professionally, I'd advise you to be mindful of your language at work because there will be a small percentage of people who will perceive it as offensive and who will complain. I'd give you a copy of the professional boundaries procedure and ask you to read it and apologise to Patricia.

If Patricia didn't feel that was sufficient, I'd gently explain that you became frustrated and referred to a cunting quiche and had reflected. However, ime of disciplinaries spanning decades, you used an inappropriate word as an adjective about a savoury flan and that would not warrant time and resources on an investigation and panel to result in standard setting that already had taken place. If Pat pressed it, I'd say that an email setting standards would stay on your record permanently but a warning would be expunged.

I'd probably find a way of banning the cunting bring and share lunches in future, citing concerns from maintenance about crumbs and vermin

Somehow I'd manage not to roll my eyes but suspect Pat may already be well known in my department.

I believe it’s actually spelt Quanting Quiche

From the old town of Bitche. In Lorraine.

Come on OP you know you can't say 'cunting' at work 😂

Is this an appropriate moment to say I don't fucking like quiche?

I hate people using the c word at work. Have some couth. Bloody works just as well!

I mean it’s not worth someone being sacked over, but this is still 🤣🤣🤣

She does sound annoying but people are often annoying at work and it doesn’t reflect that well on you that it was quiche that tipped you over the edge. I think you just have to be contrite and say you regret using the language and could have handled it better. I imagine the person dealing with this is pissed off with you both that they’ve got this to sort before Christmas. I’d be both pissed off with you but also Patricia for complaining about it.

Could I just ask those who work in HR, would it be acceptable to say " just take the bastard quiche" instead?