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I had a total Meltdown at my child's Christmas show last night

177 replies

thetallfairy · 19/12/2025 11:12

Ahhhhh gosh

What is my life

I had been n the go all week

Sleep deprived

Single parent
Working 12-14 hours a day

It all so much for me last night

All on my own trying to help the kids
No one else to back me up

Kids would not come home with me when the show was over

Stepped into the corner of the hall and was in floods of tears

No one there to help

Friends from school sitting there with husbands and their parents they don't care

My parents dead
Sibling dead

Just got so much last night and we all left with me crying my eyes out it

💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔

OP posts:
blackheartsgirl · 19/12/2025 12:26

Huge hugs to you, being a lone parent is hard at the best of times but it’s even worse at Christmas and you’ve just fled a dv situation.

FWIW I am in your situation and have been for years but my youngest is now 15. My kids dad also an abusive arsehole and I lost my lovely dh to cancer 4 years ago, no parents or siblings and everything is down to me. Youngest also has ptsd .

i broke down in a supermarket once with the kids. I was mortified but I though fk them all, they’re not coping with what I have to.

chin up lovely, you’re amazing 💐

mixedpeel · 19/12/2025 12:27

Working to pay off your house is an enormous achievement, wow! I get it, you have a desperate need for some security after all you’ve been through.

Hopefully you can step back at some point and see how amazingly well you’ve done. When you stop and think, could some of last night’s meltdown tears even have been of relief rather than despair? I don’t know, but I do hope you can feel a sense of peace soon, because that’s what your ex has robbed from you.

Fiftyandme · 19/12/2025 12:28

You need bettter friends. What a bunch of cunts

Sneesellsseashells · 19/12/2025 12:28

@thetallfairy you sound absolutely amazing. It can be really hard for others to see situations from the outside so if people judge that is not about you it is about their limitations.

Truly it sounds like time to step back a bit and recover from burnout. Your children will be fine once you are fine. That is when children get their parents at their best when the parents get a chance to mind themselves along with their children. It doesn’t sound like you’ve had time for that for a bit but it is coming.

EuclidianGeometryFan · 19/12/2025 12:28

thetallfairy · 19/12/2025 12:17

@EuclidianGeometryFan

Yes to every single point

Much appreciated!!!!!

It's a small village school
We are the only single parent family

But we have nothing to be ashamed of

It's a small village school
We are the only single parent family

Next spring, when things are going better for you, perhaps consider widening their horizons so that they come across other children who have single parents, and indeed a wider variety of children in general, from all sorts of backgrounds. Perhaps clubs and activities and sports based in a nearby town?
No rush, they are still so young.

I don't expect you will want to move if you have just bought your house, which by the way is an AMAZING achievement - truly awesome.

thetallfairy · 19/12/2025 12:29

Sneesellsseashells · 19/12/2025 12:28

@thetallfairy you sound absolutely amazing. It can be really hard for others to see situations from the outside so if people judge that is not about you it is about their limitations.

Truly it sounds like time to step back a bit and recover from burnout. Your children will be fine once you are fine. That is when children get their parents at their best when the parents get a chance to mind themselves along with their children. It doesn’t sound like you’ve had time for that for a bit but it is coming.

Thinks this is exactly it

So true

OP posts:
thetallfairy · 19/12/2025 12:30

Fiftyandme · 19/12/2025 12:28

You need bettter friends. What a bunch of cunts

Been at every hen do
Birthday party
Wedding

And not even a check in today

They can piss off

OP posts:
TheUsualChaos · 19/12/2025 12:31

thetallfairy · 19/12/2025 11:18

Thank you I'm now working from home all of Xmas

Off Xmas day !!!

It's sucks really

I pay for everything

I do everything

My brain has had enough

I say this from experience. You are in burnout and you need to take time off work. I felt so worried about people judging me but actually they were so lovely and supportive. And the ones that aren't, sod 'em.

Dollybantree · 19/12/2025 12:31

Gosh, didn’t see your other posts about the trauma and abuse OP. No wonder you’re hanging by a thread!

You really are amazing - please don’t berate yourself ❤️ You’ve done the best thing you ever could for your dc’s - you got out. Many, many women don’t. You deserve applause and the biggest hug ever ❤️

If those people know your situation and saw you upset and none of them offered a hug or a bit of support they are twats. That’s on them. I’m hoping they just didn’t notice you were crying.

thetallfairy · 19/12/2025 12:31

blackheartsgirl · 19/12/2025 12:26

Huge hugs to you, being a lone parent is hard at the best of times but it’s even worse at Christmas and you’ve just fled a dv situation.

FWIW I am in your situation and have been for years but my youngest is now 15. My kids dad also an abusive arsehole and I lost my lovely dh to cancer 4 years ago, no parents or siblings and everything is down to me. Youngest also has ptsd .

i broke down in a supermarket once with the kids. I was mortified but I though fk them all, they’re not coping with what I have to.

chin up lovely, you’re amazing 💐

Wow

My goodness

That's huge

Sending lots of good wishes

We do so much and go so hard on ourselves

OP posts:
thetallfairy · 19/12/2025 12:33

You are all so kind

Crying again but some happy tears

Fck people who judge

Fck abusers

Fck trying to do it all

No one gets it right all the time
No one !!!! Just trying to allow myself to let that seap in

OP posts:
TallShip · 19/12/2025 12:40

thetallfairy · 19/12/2025 11:45

Thank you so much

I can't keep up with it all

They all have Xmas day big celebrations

Then grandparents cousins all over Xmas

We have nothing really

But keep it simple
Calm down a bit so they don't pick up on my horrendous state and start afresh 2026

I’m an DGP and I do understand. One of my DGC only has his DP, us and an uncle. It’s difficult for children, especially after Xmas, when their friends say all the presents they’ve received.
Their DM fled dv from her mother, which they witnessed so they understand why they don’t have that many presents but it’s still hard.
You are doing a wonderful job.

Fiftyandme · 19/12/2025 12:43

And OP - just remember this: every time you think you’re failing, just remember that the world would be falling over themselves to hand medals over if a man were doing just half of what you’re doing.

Getdne · 19/12/2025 12:43

You sound absolutely amazing.
But please remember that you have to put your own mask on first.
This is in your childrens best interests.
We always did a very simple Christmas here, despite our substantial means.
I think Christmas is simply too much.
Simple pj days, simple yummy food, snacks and treats, a very lazy mother relaxing.

My young adult children have the best memories because it was fun, lazy, easy and relaxed.
They remember atmosphere far more than gifts, please remember that.
Get yourself a good tonic like Floadix and take the bottle over a week.
Its natural and gives a great energy boost.

I came from a stressful household with a narcissistic father, I don't have any happy memories beyond stress, despite a beautiful home, gifts, the best of everything in my very MC home.
I know my children will carry lightly the memories of simple happy Christmases, long after I am gone.
Certainly not huge perfect gifts, and perfect outings, just a happy relaxing time together.

You are an amazing woman and you need to go easy on yourself.

I am a great believer in manifesting things.
I will manifest that your Ex dies screaming for you.😁
Bless you and your lucky children.

Fiftyandme · 19/12/2025 12:44

thetallfairy · 19/12/2025 12:30

Been at every hen do
Birthday party
Wedding

And not even a check in today

They can piss off

Right, there’s one job for you that will actually give you your time and peace back: kick them to the curb - silently and gracefully. And start spending your precious time and energy on things that you love

Daughterofthesea · 19/12/2025 12:47

I see you OP. It sounds overwhelming, and I am sorry you had no one there for you. Being a single parent is especially hard at this time of year and I know how you feel.

thetallfairy · 19/12/2025 13:20

You are all so kind

Thank you

Why should it all be this hard

I can sit and wallow in grief or give myself a kick up the butt and get on with it !!! 🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏

OP posts:
fairesflowers · 19/12/2025 13:21

@thetallfairy
I’d just like to tell you about something I read when my kids were younger, and it helped me.

When we are going through something our brains create a particularly powerful distorted view of the world around us.
So when you are struggling to conceive you notice all the pregnant ladies and they seem to be everywhere .
When your child with Autism is unable to participate in something out and about, it seems like all the other children can and he is alone in not managing.
When you have no relatives, suddenly everyone seems to have help from grandparents, aunts and uncles on tap.

Your brain doesn’t allow you to see all those other women who cannot conceive, the families with Autistic children who are isolated and struggle to leave the house therefore aren’t there to be seen not participating, the families who don’t have relatives but withdraw from the conversation and don’t talk about it because they too feel hurt inside
You are objectively going through a really tough time, but what you mustn’t feel is alone or inadequate. Yes, the difficulties you and your children face now, caused by what has happened, are real.
The view that everyone will think in any way less of you, or that all the other children are living perfect lives is distorted.

The idea that your kids will never now get to have the “perfect childhood” is one that haunts so many parents, and whilst there may be a lucky number who actually do live this magical upbringing, in my opinion it is a lucky role of the dice more than anything else and at least in my circle of friends I can only think of one or two who didn’t have specific struggles throughout their childhood, be it bereavement, mental health, eating disorders, severe disability in the family, substance abuse, abusive behaviour. Maybe I surround myself with people who I can relate to and this askews things, I don’t know, but I definitely wouldn’t have been judging you.

thetallfairy · 19/12/2025 13:23

fairesflowers · 19/12/2025 13:21

@thetallfairy
I’d just like to tell you about something I read when my kids were younger, and it helped me.

When we are going through something our brains create a particularly powerful distorted view of the world around us.
So when you are struggling to conceive you notice all the pregnant ladies and they seem to be everywhere .
When your child with Autism is unable to participate in something out and about, it seems like all the other children can and he is alone in not managing.
When you have no relatives, suddenly everyone seems to have help from grandparents, aunts and uncles on tap.

Your brain doesn’t allow you to see all those other women who cannot conceive, the families with Autistic children who are isolated and struggle to leave the house therefore aren’t there to be seen not participating, the families who don’t have relatives but withdraw from the conversation and don’t talk about it because they too feel hurt inside
You are objectively going through a really tough time, but what you mustn’t feel is alone or inadequate. Yes, the difficulties you and your children face now, caused by what has happened, are real.
The view that everyone will think in any way less of you, or that all the other children are living perfect lives is distorted.

The idea that your kids will never now get to have the “perfect childhood” is one that haunts so many parents, and whilst there may be a lucky number who actually do live this magical upbringing, in my opinion it is a lucky role of the dice more than anything else and at least in my circle of friends I can only think of one or two who didn’t have specific struggles throughout their childhood, be it bereavement, mental health, eating disorders, severe disability in the family, substance abuse, abusive behaviour. Maybe I surround myself with people who I can relate to and this askews things, I don’t know, but I definitely wouldn’t have been judging you.

Wow this means a lot

Thank you xxxx

OP posts:
MoosesareREAL · 19/12/2025 13:30

It sounds so hard. You had a bad day, it was one bad day. It’s ok…

Pinkclarko · 19/12/2025 13:37

I’ve seen some school mums cry a few times. You are not alone in having done this, and it seems like a rational reaction given the circumstances but regardless, you felt how you felt and it’s ok.

It won’t do your kids any harm to see you at the end of your rope once in while. It’s better than modelling the unrealistic idea of someone who never has to manage their own workload/reactions/feelings etc. you’ll be showing them how you work through all that and accept life’s ups and downs.

Have an ace Christmas regardless of what it looks like. Well-deserved by the sounds of it!

NewUserName2244 · 19/12/2025 13:42

Im a single parent and I can’t even begin to count up how many times women in “happily” married couples have told me things that made me feel deeply grateful that I’m single.

Around 4% of marriages are physically abusive. So if you’ve managed to get free, statistically unfortunately there will be a few women in that school looking at you with envy rather than judgement. Wishing they could be as strong as you are.

Hold your head up high - single women live longer and report happier lives than their married counterparts!!!!!!

BurntBroccoli · 19/12/2025 13:43

So sorry to hear this. Being a single parent is really difficult - much more so than people think who aren’t, or who have never been one.

I’m not sure if they are ‘friends’ if they didn’t even come over to comfort you, or help you.

Massive hugs.

Elleherd · 19/12/2025 13:44

Forgive me that this is an essay!
I'm a veteran single parent, step parent, and lone GP, after DD had the sense to recognize the pattern. My mother was a single parent when it got you not spoken to. We have always existed.

Unless there's a whole load you haven' mentioned about sour school relationships, the other parents at your school are shits need to give their heads a bloody wobble, if they aren't contacting you today at least to ask if they can do anything, even if it's not much.
Even if I wasn't that keen on you I couldn't have ignored you, if only for the social cohesion of the kids and the event. It says a great deal about them and their priorities about their comfort. Hurtful but hear it early, you'll have bigger things to worry about further down the line.

I'm afraid being the hardworking single mum who does it all has never been a good position in primary school clique cultures. You are in every way a threat in their teeny tiny comfortable worlds and a constant uneasy reminder that this could be them, no matter how much they say 'not my Nigel.'
It took me a long time to understand that, and that trying harder just gets you used more. You put in, they take out, and call it treating you equally

Sorry if that sounds horrible, but it's what I learned. You don't have to be unpleasant about it, but recognizing it, allows you to put yourself where you need to be. Funnily enough it's when I toughed out the lack of decency and became quite politely insular, that a couple of decent but timid souls afraid to be judged by the others, started to quietly bother with me.

How you deal with it in front of them when you see them next, is by acting 'normal' which i can pretty much garuntee will be an oh so busy 'Morning! How are you?' without really waiting for an answer.

We ended up back footed into home educating, and it was only then that we realized just how much background stress (on top of specific issues) school, it's demands, and school parent cliques, especially combined with with full time work, had brought to our lives. (we learned to spot the home ed cliques, and stick with the normal folks) You are one person, and can only portion yourself off so much before bits start to break.

We also discovered a venomous response to in their eyes 'rejecting' the form of education they chose for their children. We'd made no song and dance, just left. When asked where they'd go to instead said we'd be Home ed. Responses where eye opening. I'd gently point out it was working well for theirs, and would be told that was proof that mine should put up with not being able to access it.

It was the realization they really where all in competition with each other, and became clearer later when there was mainly outrage that Dc's had done well in exams and in the running for places their children where expected to have.

There is so much unspoken agreement about how things should be done, and a single Mother breaks most of them by existence unless she partners up fast.

You are allowed to loose the plot at the wrong moment in front of everyone.
I and the legion of lone parents before you declare it your absolute right.
It's a crown the majority of us have worn more than once.
'Everyone fed, all in bed, no one dead.' Anything else is a bonus.

No one is going to take care of you, so you need to take care of yourself. It's hard when you've always put yourself last, but it helps no one.
Right now that means whatever pampering and self care you can grab. Longer term it means organizing your life around your circumstances, and learning that if you don't look after yourself, you can't look after your children, so give yourself permission to say no, to say it won't work for me, to say pick which event, and be realistic about the toll being a LP takes.

You say they have nothing really... They have freedom for a non violent life to be built for them . They're too young to appreciate it yet, but they will. .It's a very big gift as is unconditional love.
On top of that, somehow you have brought them hosing security! I'm in awe.

We fled with the car door that he'd ripped off the hinges to make sure I could go nowhere, roped into place badly, a polythene window and a big lie about why the car smelt the way it did and why thy had to sit on black sacks.
I choose to take my step DC's too after they pleaded not to be left. I couldn't afford them. We had to have a lot of conversations about what we could and couldn't have in life. I encouraged them to understand finances, and it helped a lot and made them entrepreneurial while realy young. It's how you frame it.

Up and down the country are families like mine who feature homemade paper stencils and homemade bunting, paper chains, stirring puddings, drawing wonky Santa's on steamed up windows, making crackers, iou notes, charades and every game they and I could think up, an empty place in case someone needed it,collecting pine cones, homemade wreaths - basically if we wanted it, we had to be able to make it.
Not only do all of them think it was all so much better than it was, they still rate those activities higher than many others they can now buy in.
Christmas is literally what you make it.
We also have Ds literal millionaire at 18 friend, who comes round to stir the Christmas pudding with us, get plastered on our dodgy home made alcohol, and get tucked up on our settee with a hot water bottle and a blanket.
He's been doing it since his late teens when it happened spontaneously and he drunkenly burst into tears because he'd never had a hot water bottle and no one had ever tucked him in before.This is a young man who has everything.
Except he doesn't. The simplest things in life can be the hardest to get and the most damaging not to have.

The older ones have their own children now, and are recreating their childhood activities all be it without having to repurpose everything.

In this house you must make presents, or offer services or skills as a voucher, max material cost £5, exceptions to the rule are if it's vintage spotted in a charity shop and a maximum of £10. or for the whole family.

Look after yourself, the proof of it all comes years later. you've already done so much.

Starburst360 · 19/12/2025 13:51

thetallfairy · 19/12/2025 13:20

You are all so kind

Thank you

Why should it all be this hard

I can sit and wallow in grief or give myself a kick up the butt and get on with it !!! 🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏

That’s the spirit!

just remember to carve some time out for yourself if you can - you’re important too!

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