Would having a male midwife bother you ?

[ChristmasRobinFly]

Just watching the us office birth episode where the male Breast feeding consultant comes along

and reminded me of having a male midwife and I felt uncomfortable but too embarrassed to say actually, I don’t mean to be sexist but
actually no, I don’t feel comfortable with this

It came as a massive shock to me with my first baby that the bf consultant and various rather bossy and impatient females midwives had never actually bf themselves. Or had a baby.

The midwife I had first baby was so monumentally wrong about stuff the doctor asked if if I like to transfer to his care and he would fulfil her role so I did.

I don't think I would mind, it would depend on the person. The trouble is, you don't know what they are like until they turn up.

When I was in labour I just didn’t care but if asked I would have prefer a woman

I built a relationship with my midwife during my pregnancy I would not have built that relationship with a male midwife

DD is now 18 and I had a male midwife for part of the birth. He was bloody amazing and it reallly didn’t bother me at all at the time. He was better than the female midwife who took over.

Unless your in somewhere like the USA where Emergency medical services and fire services are often combined then this is totally inappropriate and not something that should ever be asked of a labouring women.

That book was definitely misogynistic at least in parts.

I wouldn't have liked it.

I had several male midwives and obs/gynae drs and they were all very good. Wouldn't bother me at all. I wouldn't judge any woman wanting a female midwife/dr or a man wanting a male nurse/dr.

My own (male) GP was present at the birth but so was a female midwife and as it happens, a trainee midwife. Also female. I would not have been comfortable with a male midwife who I didn't already know.

My obgyn was a man and delivered my kids so no

Depends on their skill level. If poor, then no. If good, then yes. Exactly the same response I would have given for a female midwife. I chose a male OB (went private). There were female OB’s I could have had but I chose the person who I believed to have the best technical skills, and it so happened to be a man, and I was fine with that.

The definition of midwife is "with woman". It has nothing to do with the gender of the practitioner, instead focusing on those receiving care.

I can imagine being fine with it, I can imagine being uncomfortable - it would absolutely depend upon the man and the vibes he gave off.

A male obstetric colleague once performed a transvaginal ultrasound on me. I was a little worried I might feel uncomfortable especially given that we occasionally work together(!) but he was the expert on the condition I needed it for and had also kindly made an additional appointment available for me urgently. He was incredibly professional and I didn't feel uncomfortable at all.

I'd probably not choose a male midwife but in the throes of labour, I couldn't care less what sex they were. I had a male doctor deliver my firstborn with forceps and I couldn't have been more relieved to see him. I've also experienced some pretty harsh female midwives who didn't exactly make me feel comfortable and supported.

Firefighters are actually first responders in the UK and they sometimes attend births (though very rarely) and other medical emergencies.

The most important thing (for me) is care, support, competence and the knowledge that they know what they’re doing. If a man meets this criteria and helped me to birth my baby I am happy. If we are to progress then we have to also recognise that there are great men who walk amongst us. Heaven knows there are so many polar opposites.

No, all I care about is how good they are (and if you need a doctor, as often happens, I don't think you get any choice or say as it's a rush, or at least that's how it was for me). The male midwife in our hospital is known for being one of the best, a lot of people have said. Even when I've met some mums/talked about our maternity unit for the first time, if you're discussing his name, it's funny how many people seem to have had him and thought he was great.
TBH, in labour I don't think I cared about much, but other people make different birth choices and might be very aware, I respect that.

On the topic of 'midwife', I believe it makes far more sense as a title - a 'withwoman', despite current popular reframings of it to make it more 'inclusive'.

'Midwife' = 'withwoman', a title for a woman who is with (labouring mothers), not a person who is with women, just as 'fishwife' = 'fishwoman', a title for a woman who sells fish, not a person who sells fish to women.

That aside, yes, having a male midwife would bother me, and I would refuse one unless I had literally no other option, and even then I would find it traumatic due to past experiences. I don't have any male healthcare professionals, especially intimate healthcare.
I've had a vaginal birth with a female midwife and while I didn't know her before the birth, she was great and I felt comfortable with her. I also had a c-section, and was alright with a male surgeon and anaesthetist. But I wouldn't be able to handle a man having to examine and touch me in intimate areas during labour.

No, wouldn't bother me at all.

I really thought it would. It worried me a lot. It turns out that, when the time came, it didn’t bother me and the level of care was excellent.

I appreciate that some women may have strong views on this, for whatever reasons, and I fully support their right to request a female midwife.

I don't think it would bother me but I'm happy to concede I may feel differently if it actually happened. Labour can be very emotional, tiring and vulnerable so maybe in the moment I would.

Interesting how male midwives are always amazing while female midwives are always total harridans. I suspect a bit of bar shifting.

As always, men get put on pedestals for doing the bare minimum, while women are judged more harshly. Many women seem to feel the need to uplift men over and above other women, especially when those men deign to work in female-dominated roles or do things society currently considers feminine.

It's quite distasteful to watch women scramble over themselves in order to praise and fawn over wholly mediocre men. You'll notice it often happens, though. Look how Tom Daley got fawned over like the second coming of Christ for doing something entirely ordinary (knitting).

Absolutely agree. It's always the same - males in roles that require women to acquiesce to their presence at the most personal, intimate times in their lives must be hailed as the best, most amazing, kindest and bravest men ever. Meanwhile the women in those roles just get on with it - or have to budge up to accommodate the men.

Why on earth would his sexuality matter?