Would having a male midwife bother you ?

[ChristmasRobinFly]

Just watching the us office birth episode where the male Breast feeding consultant comes along

and reminded me of having a male midwife and I felt uncomfortable but too embarrassed to say actually, I don’t mean to be sexist but
actually no, I don’t feel comfortable with this

There was one at my birth

I had a male obstetrician and male midwife when giving birth to my ds and a male gynaecologist. They were all lovely and very good at their jobs. The male midwife was really good because I was incredibly anxious (I'd had a stillbirth previously).

I actually don't remember if I was given a choice.

However, of course there are many reasons why a woman would not want a male.

I don’t think I’d have noticed when I was in labour to be honest so I wouldn’t care if I did but I do think people should have the choice

Not in the least, as long as he’s competent and reassuring. I couldn’t have cared less if I’d have had an alien with 5 eyes and tentacles, when I gave birth to DD & DS, long as they knew how to give me the entonox and the pethidine 😂

What unpleasant misogynistic terms you use.

No. I wouldnt want a male midwife, particularly not during labour and childbirth. I had an emergency during childbirth when a number of doctors flew into the room, some male and some female, and obviously that was absolutely fine but I want a woman supporting me through my pregnancy and childbirth. There is something really powerful that comes from women supporting women and that time of life is the epitome of it for me.

I had one - he was the only one who would discharge us ‘despite’ DS not breastfeeding 100% properly! In his words ‘You know what’s best for your family, go home and enjoy your baby.’ A breath of fresh air after 4 days of pushy and judgmental female midwives.

It wouldn’t bother me in the slightest. I have a male gynaecologist and that’s fine too.

Didn't bother me when I had one caring for me, he was really kind and made me laugh which I needed at that point after spending 5 days bobbing up and down to labour ward and spending the night not sleeping on a hard labour ward bed. Compared to the openly racist female midwife at my first birth he was great.

For two of my births I had male obstetricians present, the last one saved my life. So long as they are competent at their job, it isn't an issue for me.

I also had 2 blokes stitching up my fanny after the birth, chatting away to me. At that point I did not care.

I had a section and the male staff member there was actually the most reassuring and empathetic out of all the team, he put me at ease massively as did the male anesthesiologist as I was very nervous beforehand.

So in that respect no I don't think I'd have a problem with it provided they are compassionate and good at their jobs. However, that's a moot point given that some women would never be comfortable and would need a female midwife for religious reasons/ due to trauma or just because that would make them feel better. It's important that we have the set up to provide this to any woman who asks for it.

Equally not all male staff would be comfortable with this. I know a friend who's a gp talked to her dad (also a gp) about how uncomfortable he felt around women breastfeeding because he didn't know where to look.

Yes as I was sexually abused for years.

If you had asked me this before I gave birth I would have said yes I’d mind. However after having a rapid induction, labour that wouldn’t progress and three senior midwives in the room encouraging me to continue pushing it was a male junior doctor who noticed my baby was back to back and that I needed to get to theatre urgently. I had male anaesthetists and an amazing female surgeon, so now I wouldn’t care a bit!

Honestly it depends where In labour I was. I had very quick labours so was already in chronic pain by the time I reached hospital on both occasions so I don’t think I would have any mental captivity to care who was acting as midwife. But my preference would have been a female which I did get. I did have a male trainee doctor in the room for one of my births. I honestly didn’t say no as I felt they have to train up and would want an experienced doctor of either sex to help me had I had an emergency during delivery.

Yes, it matters to lots of women for numerous reasons, including religious and cultural preferences and past trauma such as sexual assault. Even in the throes of labour, some women rightly have a preference and their needs should be accommodated wherever possible to avoid unnecessary trauma.

I wouldn't have wanted one for any of my births. Women should absolutely have the choice, and no woman should be forced into accepting one because the staffing levels are so shit that a man is the only person available. I didn't have any male doctors present either, all female, and again, wouldn't have wanted any men there.

I bet they're more sympathetic than some of the midwives

In theory I'd say not at all but I haven't given birth, so this is just a guess and maybe my feelings would change. But I've had a male gynae and had no issue.

I honestly wouldn't care but I work in the profession and have no issues with male medics/hcps looking at or touching bits of me. I am not a remotely private person and wouldn't even ask people to leave the room while I get ready for a smear, etc. My best friend on the other hand didn't ask for breastfeeding advice because she was too embarrassed to show the female midwife her breasts. We are alll different. To paraphrase Willie Nelson and Dolly Parton, everyone's beautiful in their own way.

I had a male anaethistist I was several epidurals down and slightly demented I was convinced he was an ex colleague and screamed for him to get away. In hindsight I was a right bitc

Very clearly, when it comes down to it, it matters a great deal to a large number of women.

There’s a huge difference between being bothered at having a male midwife, which was the question asked, and having a medical emergency where your life is at risk and you don’t care who saves you, so long as someone does. That you can’t understand why some women would see a difference in the two scenarios is a little odd.

My dd's birth was... somewhat complicated and a bit dramatic.

At one time I had DH (male, obviously), the midwife (female), another midwife (female), a junior doctor (male), the senior consultant (male), an anaesthatist (male) and about half a dozen random medical students in the delivery room with me. By that stage I couldn't have cared if the household cavalry had come riding through.

This sounds intriguing. What was the fireman doing there and why did he want to watch you giving birth?

It would depend on the person. I’d want to have the most competent and compassionate person on shift. If that person happens to be male then as long as I’m chaperoned I’d get over it.

men (not most of them mind) can be equally as caring and empathetic as women.

I do understand though there are women who don’t feel safe around men do very good reason, but then male obstetricians/anesthetist/ theatre nurses etc are common. Perhaps it should be written into the birth plan.