Would having a male midwife bother you ?

[ChristmasRobinFly]

Just watching the us office birth episode where the male Breast feeding consultant comes along

and reminded me of having a male midwife and I felt uncomfortable but too embarrassed to say actually, I don’t mean to be sexist but
actually no, I don’t feel comfortable with this

Leaving you aside...

I know people say this, but it doesn't make sense as a linguistic construction and it's historically inaccurate in usage.

What makes sense is:

Fishwife = a woman who sells fish to people. NOT a person who sells fish to women.

Midwife = a woman who is 'with' (labouring women). NOT a person who is with labouring women.

This definition is born out by the fact that historically (and globally), it has ALWAYS been the role of women to assist other women in birthing (up until doctors pushed their way in). The term midwife came about to refer to a 'withwoman', and claiming it's 'gender neutral' is a modern retcon.

Yes! The with-woman. Makes perfect sense, thank you.

Or even, the woman with.

If I had a choice between a male midwife or a female one I’d just pick the one who seemed the nicest. My gynaecologist is a man and so was my breast surgeon.

It’s a moot point, really, as I’d still be happy to have a male midwife anyway. I’ve never had any issues or concerns about having any kind of healthcare from a man.

Unfortunately the NHS doesn't work like that.

It wouldn’t bother me but I think women should have a choice.

I didn’t say it did.

I’ve never had private healthcare, but the question I was answering was, if I had a choice, who would I pick. As I made clear in my post.

It would both me. I can’t quite articulate why- it’s not embarrassment as I had a male anaesthetist doing the eidural and a male gynaecologist did my uterine ablation. It just seems weird career choice for a man. A male breast feeding counsellor would be even worse.

Fun fact but the lactation specialist is actually Pam’s real life husband 😂but to answer your question no I wouldn’t want a male midwife

God can you imagine, I think that would be worst than delivery for me, I’d like to think it’s rare but MWs must get some training in BF (not that I witnessed it I have to say….)

When mine were babies both the La Leche league and the NCT required all trainee breastfeeding counsellors to have successfully breastfed their own children before starting the lengthy training. They had good reason for this. I would expect other orgs to do the same but who knows?

@BauhausOfEliott My point was that you wouldn't get to choose the nicest - it's an unfair question as women just aren't afforded that choice in gynaecology or obstetrics as I'm sure you know. If the Society of Radiologists get their way you'll also have males doing your mammograms too.

We still have no one who is prepared to say that they would actively choose a man over a woman for their midwife. Plenty who would actively choose a woman though.

@CurlewKate We still have no one who is prepared to say that they would actively choose a man over a woman for their midwife. Plenty who would actively choose a woman though

I would IF the technical skills of a male midwife were superior to the technical skills of a female midwife if I had to actively choose between the two of them. However, if the technical skills of the female were superior I would choose them. That’s the only factor I would use to choose, couldn’t give a rats about gender, personality or indeed bedside manner. I chose my Ob (went private) on this basis as well and chose who I believed to be most technically superior at the time, and it so happened to be a male.

But that’s not the question, is it? The question is would you choose a man or a woman? Not would you choose the better qualified person. Apart from anything else, for the vast majority of women in the UK that’s not a choice available to them.

Would not bother me in the slightest.

Given that all midwives have the same 'technical' skills in order to practice, how do you think you would choose - given the NHS doesn't allow women to choose their midwife on that basis?

In RL, you pitch up to hospital in labour, you're asked if you want the male midwife. Your answer can only be yes or no. You don't get to ask if he's nice, or has better technical skills, or if his fingers are longer and thinner. The only choice you have (if you're lucky and the choice is available at that time) is whether you want a male or a female. That's it.

But if you had a choice would you choose a man or a woman?

Not at all. I trained with one he was brilliant.

There is not a day in this life or the next, where I would choose a man over a woman in any circumstance.

One of my biggest upsets is that there are not enough female surgeons as even going private, the chance of a woman being an option is so slim.

If I am also able, I do opt for native English speakers.

So what? He should br brilliant, he's going to be a practising midwife. His brilliance or otherwise is not the issue here.

What are the chances, eh? In all the teaching hospitals in all the world….

That was going so well…..