Would having a male midwife bother you ?

[ChristmasRobinFly]

Just watching the us office birth episode where the male Breast feeding consultant comes along

and reminded me of having a male midwife and I felt uncomfortable but too embarrassed to say actually, I don’t mean to be sexist but
actually no, I don’t feel comfortable with this

I have had a male ob gyn and was fine with that.

But the midwife role is very different. It's not so clinical. It's support, practical and emotional, and also with breastfeeding. I can't imagine being ok with that.

So it means WITH WOMAN....

Midwife...with woman

Your point evidences mine!

It wouldn’t have bothered me during Labour, quite honestly if I’d have thought it would have helped I’d have let anyone up there.

I might feel a bit more vulnerable when not in so much pain and a bit more with it though, I’m not sure I’d be comfortable with the breast feeding etc but it would depend on the individual and their bedside manor so to speak.

I think it would completely depend on the person, if he was professional and kind and made me feel comfortable and confident. I've had smears and other intimate examinations from my male GP of many years and felt totally comfortable with him. I've had female midwives who's brusque manner I didn't really like. So I think it totally depends on the circumstances and if you're able to form a good relationship with that person, male or female.

I had a male midwife with my first. I did not know it was a possibility and wasn’t asked. People have said I should have said I would prefer a woman but I was frightened and in pain and didn’t know how to. He was lovely, but I didn’t want a man. I didn’t actually give birth until he had gone off shift and was replaced by a woman. For subsequent children I had it written in my notes.

I'd absolutely hate it.

I would assume that any man going in to that profession was a boundary-pushing pervert with no respect for women's needs or spaces.

Many won't agree, many will 🤷‍♀️.

Midwife means to be with women not wife as in married to husband

So many people looked up my foof whilst I was pregnant, I stopped being bothered by it. I’d draw the line at a male BFing consultant though!

When I was in labour, I was that high on gas and air, Donald Trump couldve walked in as a midwife and I probably wouldn't have been bothered 🙈

I ended up giving birth in theatre with forceps. Ds was delivered by 2 male doctors. The anesthetist was male. He was fab. There was about 15 people in theatre when I gave birth. Should have sold tickets.....
I would rather a competent, compassionate person be with me when I need help. Male or female.

I had a male obstetrician so I don't see a huge amount of difference. There was a male student midwife on the ward. It was 1980 so you stayed in for a while and he had to check my discharge on the sanitary towels. I didn't have a problem with it.

As in, they're with the woman giving birth. Whoever the midwife is, they are with (mid) the woman (wife) giving birth.

The midwife does not need to be female, nor does calling it "midperson" make any sense.

Nope, couldn’t care less.

A male doctor performed my second c-section. He did a grand job, me and the child were healthy and happy. Neat stitches too.

I’ve had male gynae HCPs too. Again, whatever. In typing this, I recall a breast exam once by a male GP.

There was a thread about this a while ago with those who had a male midwife actively gushing about them and claiming he was far better than the previous female midwives they’d had.

I had one with DS2 and was fine with it. But I was asked first and given the option.

Labour was v long and he was the last of three midwives with me. So I was happy with anyone at that point.

In the end I had an emergency caesarean because DS2 got stuck. He stayed with me and after my caesarean was sorted, he had to also stitch up underneath. I was exhausted and v comfortable, so fell asleep while he was doing that!

But I think everyone is different and
every woman should have the right to say no to a male midwife.

No it wouldn't worry me personally. Tbf I had two ELCS, but the head midwife at our hospital was a man, and had an excellent reputation. Although I had a team of female surgeons, in my first CS the theatre team was exclusively female and the second CS most were male. Both teams were fine, but the men in the second team were absolutely excellent at engaging with me, explaining what was going on, talking to me through the procedure and generally treating me so well, with appropriate levels of levity and absolutely no patronising. The women were polite enough, but pretty much ignored me throughout, especially when I haemorrhaged (bar one midwife who told me nothing was wrong as I struggled not to pass out).

I just want to say, for those who can’t understand the issue … I’m really pleased for you.

there are sadly many women who do get the issue.

Please do not silence their experiences or make them feel like they cannot protect their space and peace.

I had one but he was a student so was always with the woman he was shadowing. Still I really didn’t expect it and it did make me feel instantly uncomfortable as he was involved in doing the induction which was obviously very personal and intimate.

I think the vast majority of people who’ve said they’d be fine with it have either said they think women should be able to request a woman, or have made no comment about others. I don’t think anyone has said anything dismissive along the lines of “get a grip what are you fussing about”

I would prefer a woman mainly because I am one and giving birth is a very female experience. I’m a strange case though because I didn’t really like the book written by the gay male doctor who works on ob gyn though, he always seemed to me to be vaguely disgusted by women’s bodies but lots of people raved about it.

I requested no men (except dh) in the room during delivery unless it was an emergency.

With woman. So with the woman giving birth. Not that the person being the midwife is a woman

What if there were complications and they needed to call a doctor, what about a male paramedic delivering in an emergency.

no but then I was stitched up by my make gp who attended the birth then got second pregnancy under consultant and he was a man. The men were actually more gentle than the women who assessed me at various stages.

I had a male midwife and it was the least of my concerns mid-labour