Would having a male midwife bother you ?

[ChristmasRobinFly]

Just watching the us office birth episode where the male Breast feeding consultant comes along

and reminded me of having a male midwife and I felt uncomfortable but too embarrassed to say actually, I don’t mean to be sexist but
actually no, I don’t feel comfortable with this

I wouldn’t go this far: I think some male midwives and male gynaecologists are well intentioned, caring men. But I feel similarly in my gut and I don’t ever want male HCPs for gynaecological procedures. Years ago I agreed under duress to have an examination by a male dr while being induced. He performed a sweep without asking my permission. (I wrote to PALS and got no response.)

Odd, isn't it? 23,000 female midwives working in NHS and only pocket money in male midwives but so many posters who know many of them and their sexuality too 🤷🏼‍♀️

Because they have so many hurdles to overcome I find they are amazing, so kind and knowledgeable as they REALLY have to want to be a midwife and be passionate to get to the end

Nonsense - the hurdles they encounter are entirely self-made.

I wouldn't say it is self made when they have to facilitate 40 births and care for 40 in labour plus 100 antenatal cares and postnatal cares when I would say half the women decline them providing care. Female midwives are struggling to get all their births signed off and aren't declined in rooms very often. Male students often are turned away before being met so that isn't a self made hurdle apart from the face they chose this profession.

Surely they know that before they sign up though? At the end of the day no one is crying out for male midwives, it’s not like teachers where we want boys to see men in caring roles, midwifery is about women, it’s a female space. If men are muscling their way into that they should be aware of the consequences?

Surely, the fact 50% of women aren't comfortable with their presence should be the message they need to start respecting women's choices and change career choice, the fact that they don't is really concerning.

Obviously ideally they'd have enough insight and respect for women to have not chosen to do it in the first place.

What you're describing is the work of a midwife - this shouldn't come as a surprise to any man. Yes, women are declining their presence and rightly so - again, no male in this profession should be surprised by that. They are choosing to enter a profession where the majority of women they will work with don't want them there - yet again, no surprise. They have to bear the consequences of women saying no to them - I feel no sympathy for them, nor do I think they face any hurdle that isn't entirely of their own making or choosing.

Why should they choose a different career when 50% of women (myself included) wouldn't have a problem with a male midwife?

Because it will be more than 50% who don't want them there - and they are putting the majority of women in an incredibly difficult or uncomfortable position by their presence.

Any man who enters a profession knowing that has to be questioned.

i wonder how true it is that most women will accept a male obstetrician without a second thought. When things escalate, there really isn’t much of a choice if there isn’t anyone female on shift. Due to past experiences I was desperate not to have anyone male but when it came to it I had no choice who came into the room during an emergency. I was horrified but what could I do? I also wonder how many women don’t voice their discomfort due to fear of being seen as difficult or discriminatory.

There will be many women who feel like that - but of course, when you're faced with a potential emergency most women's concern for their baby will override that.

Put a pregnant woman in a room with a male and a female obstetrician before they give birth and ask them to pick the one they want in the event of something going wrong. I would bet actual money that the majority would choose the female obstetrician.

Personally, I'm of the opinion that people should be able to work towards whatever career they choose. Men who want to become midwives, gynaecologists etc are no doubt aware that many women would not be comfortable being treated by them, but there are many other women who would be fine with it, as we've seen on this thread. The important thing is that the woman is asked what she wants and that her wishes are respected.

I wouldn’t care while in labour or giving birth but I’d probably prefer a female midwife at antenatal appointments, not sure exactly why, I have a long history of antenatal and postnatal depression and I’d rather discuss those issues with a woman. Might be weird of me especially as I can discuss other aspects of my mental health with male medical staff. I put this down to (non midwife) male medics I’ve had appointments with while pregnant I think. Most are fine but it’s the wankers you remember most vividly.

When men go into a profession knowing that the majority of women don't want them there it demonstrates their lack of respect for women - that their male wants and preferences take priority.

Of course women should always have a choice - but that's not how the NHS operates in reality, and those men know that.

I agree.

How many women would actively choose a male midwife?

Predators have spent many more years training to be priests and teachers and social workers in order to access their prey. Why on earth do you think the midwifery qualifications would be a barrier?

Its important that women can build the kind of trust based relationship with a midwife where they are willing to share problems and risk factors which may arise from the men in their lives. Since the NHS doesn’t give us a choice to have a female midwife (only the right to request, tough shit if you are allocated a man) it makes more sense to keep it female as with key other areas.

Many are still saying obviously male medics should have no restriction in treating women as opposed to outcry about make nurses and midwives. Medicine as whole is gender split for a while range of careers and maybe there has to be a bit of accptance.

there are more caesaerian births than vaginal ones now and there is little concern about the genders involved in those operations.

I actively chose private male Gynaecologists when I had a choice between female and male.

I went for the doctor with the most experience and reputation.

Gender didn't come into it.

You mean sex didn't come into it.

I take it you use private healthcare?

I assume you mean you chose the best doctor regardless of sex? Rather than having two equally competent professionals and choosing the man?

Agree. And which is not an option for most women in the NHS.

I would be fine with it. My births consisted of rooms with approx 10 people, midwives, doctors and nurses as I had troubling births. It was the male doctors in the end who delivered my babies. Didn’t think twice about if it was a man or a woman.
Also had students at alot of my hospital appts, including males and yes they were watching even when I had to have an internal scan. (They looked more terrified than me!) 😂

Though I think if you’re uncomfortable with male midwife you should absolutely be able to ask for a woman.

I repeat. Is there anyone on here who would actively choose a male midwife over a woman?

I was trained by a male midwife. When women phoned because they were in labour, many would ask if he was on duty and request him. If anyone expressed a preference to not have a male, either in their birth plan or when they came in, he would swap himself with a female. His view was that the important person in the room was the labouring woman and her preferences and comfort should be respected.

There are more lesbian midwives than there are males - would you be suspicious of their motives?