Would having a male midwife bother you ?

[ChristmasRobinFly]

Just watching the us office birth episode where the male Breast feeding consultant comes along

and reminded me of having a male midwife and I felt uncomfortable but too embarrassed to say actually, I don’t mean to be sexist but
actually no, I don’t feel comfortable with this

Sadly as an experienced HCP i agree with @CoddledAsAMommet that this will be the case for some of the men.

I do not think men should be midwives, gynae docs, nursery workers or carers for elderly women.

Men should not have access to vulnerable women.

I don’t necessarily think it’s perverse but I do think it’s quite arrogant, shows a sense of entitlement and little consideration that many women would not be comfortable with a male. And for that reason you would have to question how suitable that man is as a caregiver to be so ignorant of the context.

I work within the NHS and think this is ludicrous. My third child was also delivered by a male midwife and it was the best experience out of the three. He was the more competent.

I would always prefer a woman, but I would accept a man, if no other option.

I'm afraid that reality is here to disabuse you of your rose-coloured glasses. Men will do all sorts of things in order to fulfil their perverted desires, if they are of that ilk.

I found the link to this paramedic here on Mumsnet. "Police believed his career choice was "influenced by the access... to potentially vulnerable" people."

Predators were (are?) often attracted to the priesthood in order to abuse victims - that's an entire lifetime dedicated to it!

They'll become coaches, teachers, or nursery workers in order to access victims. They need a job, after all, so why not pick a job that gives them opportunities to fulfil their desires?

Not in the slightest. I wouldn't have cared if the whole Boston Red Soxs team or Jack the Ripper was there when giving birth and I would have no problem with a male midwife.

I was going to say exactly the same thing! 😂 I could have been giving birth in front of a packed Wembley stadium and I wouldn’t have cared or noticed.

Just my opinion, as was the point of the OP. I'm not lobbying for them to make all midwives male, just saying I personally don't care, and unless there's some previous trauma / history of assault, I don't really see why others care so much - but that's their choice.

See my previous post about reading the tribunal summaries on the professional registers websites, sadly they walk among us.

https://www.nmc.org.uk/globalassets/sitedocuments/ftpoutcomes/2025/november-2025/reasons-foley-ftpcsh-84417-20251111.pdf

https://www.nmc.org.uk/globalassets/sitedocuments/ftpoutcomes/2025/november-2025/reasons-worton-ftpcsm-100065-20251107.pdf

https://www.nmc.org.uk/globalassets/sitedocuments/ftpoutcomes/2025/november-2025/reasons-davies-ftpcsh-86609-20251120.pdf

https://www.nmc.org.uk/globalassets/sitedocuments/ftpoutcomes/2025/november-2025/reasons-mcateer-ftpcsh-96410-20251124.pdf

https://www.hcpts-uk.org/hearings/hearings/2025/december2/chris-smith/

https://www.hcpts-uk.org/hearings/hearings/2025/november/mr-ian-c-hardman/

https://www.hcpts-uk.org/hearings/hearings/2025/november/lee-turner/

https://www.hcpts-uk.org/hearings/hearings/2025/november/aron-moorhouse/

This is one months worth of males Nurses/ midwifes and HCPs struck off for sexual misconduct.

I must say, it's interesting that all screening mammograms are only performed by female HCPs, both in the UK and elsewhere. So clearly the healthcare system knows how important it is to make sure female HCPs are assured in vulnerable situations. And after all, the majority of women will want only female carers - and all but a tiny handful of those who are fine with men will also be fine with women. So why not make it women-only?

In an ideal world, I think any speciality that focuses solely on female care, particularly female intimate care, should be female-only as standard, to ensure the maximum amount of HCPs for the maximum amount of female patients.
I know in the real world, male HCPs will go into those specialities, and many of them will do a great job and be appreciated by female patients who are happy to have male HCPs. But it should be considered standard for women to have female HCPs in any intimate care situation, with an optional tick box for them to indicate they're okay to have male HCPs.

Yeah, given the very small number of male midwives in the country, I wonder how many posters here are mooning over the professionalism and care of pervert Paul Johnson, or paedophile Jack Newry Bradley, or paedophile Scott Butler, or pervert Ronald Lock?

Yep-pretty sure a woman wouldn’t have noticed that…..

Wouldn't bother me who the midwife is.
Being in labour and pain and just want the baby out.
I wouldn't care whos looking down there,if its snoopy daddy pig, or george Clooney.
Just get the baby out and give me some drugs.

Women can do mens jobs so men can do women's jobs.
Its 50/50.

Preferences aren't legislated for under the equality act. People aren't obligated to be unbothered by male midwives.

I had a male doctor present when my son was born but right towards the end of labour when you don’t really care about who’s in the room.
For the part of labour where you are more aware and are having your cervix checked every 30 minutes, no I wouldn’t be comfortable with a man doing this.

Except only women give birth...

I've had two male midwives. One was lovely and one I requested be changed.

The primary reason I request he be changed was because he didn't ask if it was ok. He didn't say anything about it being perfectly ok to swap to a female if I wanted.
Whilst it didn't actually bother me that he was male it really pissed me off that he didn't check and could have made another woman in labour feel like she had no choice.
I was a very grumpy/pissed off person in all my labours and he seriously got my back up. Apparently I spent quite a bit of time during contractions ranting about it 😂

To be fair to him he did instantly go and get another midwife, and he did come in and apologise the next day. He said it was a good reminder to him not to slip up and forget to check, so hopefully he heeded that.

I would care who's there as I said in labour full on worst pain.
Just get the baby out.

That's fine. Other women do care though.

Exactly.
And not only that, but there are very few midwives who are just going to turn up at the end of labour when the pain and focus may overwhelm a woman's ordinary preferences. Usually they're there for the whole thing!
I feel like some (not all obviously, but some,) women who think they'd be fine with a male midwife but haven't actually had one might feel a bit differently if they imagined a middle-aged bloke being there for eight hours or so, checking their cervix etc right from the very beginning of labour.

I don’t think of a midwife as someone to “get the baby out” If a baby needs “getting out” the chances are it’s a doctor you need. A midwife’s job is to help me get the baby out.

As someone else said, not the most PC BUT about 90% of male midwives I gave met are gay. The others have become a midwife later in life after becoming interested in birth after their own children. I know more lesbian female midwives than straight male ones.

Because they have so many hurdles to overcome I find they are amazing, so kind and knowledgeable as they REALLY have to want to be a midwife and be passionate to get to the end.

However, it is obviously the woman's choice if they want them and have every right to say no. Especially at their most vulnerable.

I find most women will accept a male obstetrician without a second thought.

I noticed someone saying 'midwife' means the midwife is a woman. It doesn't mean that. It comes from old English. Mid - With and Wif - Woman. So it means 'With woman' and anyone can be, a man or a woman!

Another thing that puzzles me, apart from how absolutely amazing all male midwives are, is how many Mumsnetters have met considering that there are only about 150 male midwives in the UK. Also-what is this about it being OK so long as they are gay? What’s that about?