Would you accept a lift from a nice man in the middle of nowhere?

[Angelic999]

Out on a remote countryside walk alone as a woman, it starts raining. A man stops in his car to offer a lift. Would you say yes?

This happened to me recently. I said no thank you. He then proceeded to question me about where I was going. He seemed nice enough but I wasn't willing to take the risk to get in a car with a complete stranger (Ian Brady anyone?!)

Part of my female conditioning has been to then feel guilty that I have offended him! But then surely he should have more awareness. Although maybe it's just friendly country folk being genuine!

I often see people walking in the rain, and i think I'd like to offer them a lift. But, I don't stop as it would be putting them in an awkward position where they'd have to make a difficult decision on the spot.

Unless it was Santa on his sleigh , complete with Reindeer then that's a firm NO. I would sooner sleep in a hedge.

Absolutely this. The person offering the lift may have practiced this beforehand (assuming the worst) or even have done it before. You the passenger are in a confined space and possibly travelling at speed.If you were going to accept the lift you would take a picture of the car reg and the driver and send them to trusted people. Also make a call to say I am in this vehicle going to wherever. If the driver is offended that's their issue. Believing you have the ability to overpower/prevent an attack is admirable but not something I would want to test

Actually just remembered a time when I might have accepted a lift, if I hadn't been able to get my partner to come pick me up. I was heavily pregnant with pelvic girdle pain, it was Independence Day and I had gone to the graveyard to see the ceremony commemorating the war dead (was 100 years of independence so a once in a lifetime event I didn't want to miss), had managed to walk there with my walking sticks but after that walk, and standing for an hour in the graveyard I was in agony and there was no way I could walk home so I called my partner to come pick me up, while I struggled over to the carpark to wait one man asked me if I was ok, and when I explained I was in a lot of pain he offered me a lift home. If my partner wasn't coming I think I would have accepted because there was no way I'd have got home otherwise.

Anyone can appear 'nice enough' until you're alone with them.

I broke down one night in the dark and the rain. A man stopped and offered me a lift, I’d have been quite happy to take it but dh was insistent that I didn’t. The chap was literally driving past the end of my road on his journey!

It’s concerning how many woman would still consider getting into a car with a stranger if the person gave off a good vibe. Seriously, it’s not worth the risk. I was sexually abused by a family ‘friend.’ People aren’t always as friendly as they first appear.

The first thing you’re taught in self defence is how to prevent getting up close with the potential attacker. By raising your voice and shouting ‘back off’ or something similar. It’s never worth the risk because you are strong/good at martial arts.

Not a chance no

Definitely not! But I recall when me and DH were ‘courting’, he used to walk me to the bus stop about twenty minutes walk away after I’d been to his parents house for the evening. Part way to the stop one night, a car pulled up and a guy asked if we needed a lift. I said, yep, great, thank you, as the night was cold and it would save my dh (then bf) from the rest of the walk. I got in the car, very friendly guy, and he dropped me off at the bus stop. The next time I saw my dh, he asked who the guy was. I said I had no idea, as I thought my dh knew him! He said he had also thought that about me! So I had got into the car with a total stranger…..So I guess there are nice helpful people out there, but not worth the risk.

It depends on if he had offerd puppies or sweets .
NO

No, I wouldn't. Common sense, surely. I've always been told "don't go with strangers" as a kid, I'm not about to start as an adult.
Whether they're male or female, I'm not getting in a strangers car and accepting a lift.

Exactly. He approached you. You said No.
He then didn't appear to understand/accept this. He also asked where you were going. He didn't immediately say: 'no worries' & leave.
None of those signs are good. Better to appear 'impolite' than end up raped/dead.

Def not unless I had a taser gun in my hand just in case....

One of the female officers at our local station got battered within an inch of her life with full police training as to how to defend herself. Finally enough, it doesn’t work when they’re twice your size

This is mad, sure you might be able to defend yourself if attacked physically, but what if he has a knife, chloroform, etc? You'd really take the risk? A self defence course means nothing.

Absolutely not. A neighbour from the next street who I stop & chat with when I walk my dog offered me a lift a couple of weeks ago as I was heading home in the rain. I thanked him but refused. He’s a friendly guy & we always say hello/have a quick chat as I’m passing,however I actually know very little about him & he’s also a huge dude! I’m about 5.3” & he’s well over 6 foot tall & big built-if he was a dodgy character (which I don’t think he is at all,but again I don’t know) he could just pick me up & stick me in the boot no problem.
Men who prey on women often come across as pleasant,kind,presentable,helpful etc…
I’d rather get wet & make it back home safely.

I offered an elderly lady with a walker a lift home from the shops when it started snowing heavy. She said yes and all was good but it did make me wonder if she would have said yes to a man.

Im sure most people have good intentions but it’s the worry of that small percentage

no way!

Yes getting in a car with just a defence course and if the man has a weapon that won’t do much, ‘weak woman’ or not.

No chance! A serial killer or rapist generally needs to start with charm! Its page one of being a psychopath, surely!

No, I wouldn’t.

To be honest, I wouldn’t accept a lift from a woman either. Not because I think I’m especially likely to be murdered, but just because I couldn’t handle the awkward small talk.

Ted Bundy was 'a nice, friendly guy' to those who knew him.
Stop blaming 'women are conditioned to be nice and not offend others' bollocks.
Teach your d's to speak up for themselves, if a man takes offence -god forbid- or anyone else for that matter that's their problem.

No. When I was sixteen I was visiting my dad and his wife who lived in a much smaller city than I was used to. It generally felt very safe and their house was just outside in a quiet area.

My dad was away for a couple of days. I borrowed his bike and went for a cycle. It was a very very hot day and I was wearing denim shorts. I began pushing the bike on the way back as it got so hot and I was thirsty, tired and lightheaded. I took a wrong turn and stopped to ask a man and woman who were talking. They directed me. I continued but I was a little confused and it seemed to be taking longer than it had on the way out.

Then to my great relief the husband appeared in a a van, told me his wife was worried about me and to throw the bike in the back and he'd take me back.

Of course I knew the usual risks but this was completely different. These were nice people and his WIFE had told him to help me.

As soon as he had me in the van he told me he liked my shorts. Then he put his hand on my crotch and told me I was very tempting but he was trying to control himself. I started to cry and asked me to let me out. He looked perplexed and said we weren't there yet. We drove past his wife who waved to us. He waved back cheerfully. Then he placed his hand back on my crotch and said he was really struggling to control himself with me in those shorts.

I began to scream absolutely hysterically, I mean I let rip screaming abuse and to get the F off me. He seemed to get such a fight the van veered. He then pulled over and I started to run. He drove after me, pulled up and threw the bike on the road swearing at me and drove away calling me names. This was in broad daylight with people out and about.

I came home bawling crying with the wheel of the bike broken. My hand was bleeding (I think I'd cut it on a plant) but I had placed it on my crotch trying to protect myself so it looked like I was bleeding there. My dad's wife didn't speak English well, she had been worried about me and then was distraught. We had to get the dictionary out then she wanted to call the police but I wouldn't let her. She was absolutely lovely and promised not to tell my dad and said she broke the bike. For some reason I was sure my dad would be angry with me.

I would never EVER get into a car with a man and I will raise my daughter to do the same. If he really wants to help because there is potential danger he can offer to send a woman.

Reminds me of my Dad, 70 years old, arthritic hip, arthritic fingers, heart condition, moaned every time he got up off the sofa but used to talk a big talk about how he would beat up anyone that tried to rob him! Honestly people are crazy.

I think it’s great that she’s done a self defense course and feels confident but honestly coming up against a weapon and a likely larger and stronger person, once trapped in a car it’s questionable whether she would escape. I didn’t like the undertone of how anyone that hasn’t done a course is weak but I do understand that sometimes reading something can misconstrue how someone intended something.

You took everything out of my head that I couldn’t articulate! Thanks.