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Original poster

Would you accept a lift from a nice man in the middle of nowhere?

354 replies

Angelic999 · 06/12/2025 16:06

Out on a remote countryside walk alone as a woman, it starts raining. A man stops in his car to offer a lift. Would you say yes?

This happened to me recently. I said no thank you. He then proceeded to question me about where I was going. He seemed nice enough but I wasn't willing to take the risk to get in a car with a complete stranger (Ian Brady anyone?!)

Part of my female conditioning has been to then feel guilty that I have offended him! But then surely he should have more awareness. Although maybe it's just friendly country folk being genuine!

OP posts:
MaMaMalenka · 07/12/2025 11:56

ImThePr0blem · 06/12/2025 16:10

I would but then I’m able to defend myself if he tried anything.
EVERY woman should do a police self defence course and strength training.

If I was a weak woman with no idea how to subdue a potential attacker then yeah, I’d run a mile instead of getting into the car.

Very bad advice! Would you be able to defend yourself if he pulled out a knife or a gun?
It's a total NO from me

Persephoneofhell · 07/12/2025 12:03

No I wouldn't and I don't know any nice man that would offer a lone female either. They have awareness that it would make a female feel unsafe.

BagpussWasRight · 07/12/2025 12:05

Summergarden · 06/12/2025 22:13

That’s a really good idea.

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Unless he has false plates? Or he's in a stolen car? Or he's "borrowed" it from a mate?Just sayin....

BagpussWasRight · 07/12/2025 12:09

@ElectoralControversy

I've trained various martial arts - including the "biting and testicle-ripping" ones - for nearly two decades,

Pray tell! 😱

PigeonsandSquirrels · 07/12/2025 12:14

Why would I? If I’ve gone on a country walk I’ve done it so I can walk. If it rains that’s not exactly unexpected here so I will put my hood up and carry on.

I’m not sugar, I won’t melt.

Pedallleur · 07/12/2025 12:24

Testicle ripping? In a car? Eyes, nostrils yes but you are in a confined space and the assailant is going all in. A hard punch, a taser could disable you enough for him to get restraints on you (assuming the car isn't moving). Best not to be in the position of fighting for your life.

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 07/12/2025 12:27

Purplevelvets · 06/12/2025 16:15

I'm curious to know where in the world getting in a car with a stranger is less risky than in UK?

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Me too!

Malvarrosa · 07/12/2025 12:28

I would not, unless it was a life or death situation and I had no other options.

cinquanta · 07/12/2025 12:29

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 07/12/2025 12:27

Me too!

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And me.

Original poster
Angelic999 · 07/12/2025 13:08

@Goditsmemargaret how horrific, and your Father's wife really should have contacted the Police. Shame on her for not doing so.

OP posts:
bumptybum · 07/12/2025 13:08

Mydadsbirthday · 07/12/2025 10:55

This is mad, sure you might be able to defend yourself if attacked physically, but what if he has a knife, chloroform, etc? You'd really take the risk? A self defence course means nothing.

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She wouldn’t even be able to defend herself physically. Some people have no idea of the difference in relative strength between men and women.

I am a strong women. I have strength trained for 30 years. My 19 year old dd has been for about 2 years. She is strong and will get stronger. We both know an untrained 16 year old boy would have us in minutes. Probably a developed 14 year old boy could. The difference in strength and speed is ridiculous. They also would have the benefit of foresight and planning and intent.

please women, do the training. Do the courses if they give you confidence to move through the world not looking like a victim. But do not over think your abilities to fight off a man. Your best bets are a) to get away fast b) to make a LOT of noise c) to appear less vulnerable in your manner d) to keep distance between you

once they are in close proximity the actual chances if fighting them off physically is very slim. Get away. Shout. Yell at them.

Original poster
Angelic999 · 07/12/2025 13:14

PigeonsandSquirrels · 07/12/2025 12:14

Why would I? If I’ve gone on a country walk I’ve done it so I can walk. If it rains that’s not exactly unexpected here so I will put my hood up and carry on.

I’m not sugar, I won’t melt.

Yes I think this is what confused me about his approach- it was raining but not heavy more of a shower. I had a waterproof jacket on and was walking with purpose. I wasn't in need of any assistance and quite happy on my walk. Why he thought I needed 'rescuing' is beyond me.

OP posts:
Girasoli · 07/12/2025 14:28

I wouldn't by myself, but I have accepted a lift several times when finishing off a hike with my dad. Its common to offer hikers a lift back down to the village when they are walking the last few miles down the mountain on the side of the (car) road.

I have to say though, no one has ever offered me a lift when I've been doing that walk by myself or with my sister in law. Only when I've been with a man, so I think drivers are aware it can seem dodgy.

myhaggisblewup · 07/12/2025 14:49

ImThePr0blem · 06/12/2025 16:10

I would but then I’m able to defend myself if he tried anything.
EVERY woman should do a police self defence course and strength training.

If I was a weak woman with no idea how to subdue a potential attacker then yeah, I’d run a mile instead of getting into the car.

Do you really believe that? You sound deluded tbh. If I was that way inclined you could glance out the window and I could have a knife in your ribs before you knew it. I'm a short woman and 9 stone wringing wet....
You wouldn't stand a chance against a determined man animal, no matter how much you want to believe your abilities don't kid yourself they will always protect you in every situation.
Just because I'm holding a gun, there will always be someone who can potentially take it off of me unless I'm a trained gun man in the police or forces.

Rtaw · 07/12/2025 15:33

Even years of self-defence classes and strength training aren't going to be able to stop even the most average man, especially in a plan that you don't know about, alone and in a locked car, and they could have any assortment of weapons. I did karate pretty much all my life and boxing competitively. Until the last couple of years when I got a disability, the majority of very average men who have barely been in a gym, were all still stronger than me even when I was at peak fitness, bigger than me and could throw stronger haymakers than I could, could hold me down if they were on top of me easily and had bigger strides to run you down etc. Self-defence classes, while interesting, are not miracle workers. The first lesson to take from a self-defence class would be don't get in the car.

myhaggisblewup · 07/12/2025 16:26

Rtaw · 07/12/2025 15:33

Even years of self-defence classes and strength training aren't going to be able to stop even the most average man, especially in a plan that you don't know about, alone and in a locked car, and they could have any assortment of weapons. I did karate pretty much all my life and boxing competitively. Until the last couple of years when I got a disability, the majority of very average men who have barely been in a gym, were all still stronger than me even when I was at peak fitness, bigger than me and could throw stronger haymakers than I could, could hold me down if they were on top of me easily and had bigger strides to run you down etc. Self-defence classes, while interesting, are not miracle workers. The first lesson to take from a self-defence class would be don't get in the car.

!00% If courses increase your confidence that is good, but we must always be realistic in rl situations and rely on gut instinct and common sense.

Coffeeready · 07/12/2025 16:46

I’d just started a new job and one week in my bus didn’t show. I had to wait for the next one which would make me late. A car stopped and the guy offered me a lift. I immediately declined fearing for my safety. He asked if I was sure as I could be waiting some time. I refused and waited for the bus, arriving late to the office. Still relieved the man had driven away and still thinking about the offer when I was asked to take something to the managers secretary. As I passed her the paperwork I caught a glimpse of said manager in office behind - same guy who’d offered me the lift!! I’d only been briefly introduced on day one along with several other managers and not being great with remembering so many new faces at once I’d not recognised him out of context. He however had clearly remembered me. Felt stupid for some time afterwards. But no I wouldn’t accept. Apparently even when I probably should have.

CoolPlayer · 07/12/2025 16:49

No never man or women, unless I knew who they were

YerArseInParsley · 07/12/2025 17:10

Angelic999 · 06/12/2025 16:06

Out on a remote countryside walk alone as a woman, it starts raining. A man stops in his car to offer a lift. Would you say yes?

This happened to me recently. I said no thank you. He then proceeded to question me about where I was going. He seemed nice enough but I wasn't willing to take the risk to get in a car with a complete stranger (Ian Brady anyone?!)

Part of my female conditioning has been to then feel guilty that I have offended him! But then surely he should have more awareness. Although maybe it's just friendly country folk being genuine!

No!

Rapists and murderers are never going to show they are rapists and murderers. I hope u didn't tell him your business. Make something up.

Twice I've been asked if I want to buy a bed, 'it's in the van'. I did need a bed at that time but would never take a look in that van. I often wondered if I looked like I needed a bed 🤣

Original poster
Angelic999 · 07/12/2025 17:21

YerArseInParsley · 07/12/2025 17:10

No!

Rapists and murderers are never going to show they are rapists and murderers. I hope u didn't tell him your business. Make something up.

Twice I've been asked if I want to buy a bed, 'it's in the van'. I did need a bed at that time but would never take a look in that van. I often wondered if I looked like I needed a bed 🤣

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No I was very vague and just said no thank you and didn't offer any information.

The number of women on this thread who say they would accept a lift is scary as clearly if predatory men ask enough women, eventually they will get one who will accept.

I think most perverts men probably use dating apps or sex workers to get their 'needs' met rather than resorting to luring someone from the roadside, but still you just never know. The chances are incredibly slim he was after anything nefarious, but there are opportunists out there.

OP posts:
DrNo007 · 07/12/2025 17:33

Just because I was out for a walk and it started to rain, no absolutely I wouldn't accept a lift from a stranger. However... several decades back, when I was poor but carefree, I drove an old banger that gave up on the motorway in the middle of nowhere. I wasn't in the AA/RAC, and this was before the age of mobile phones so I could not call anyone. While I was on the hard shoulder trying to work out what had broken in the car, a nice man drove up and offered me a lift to a nearby garage so I could ask them to come and pick up the car. I had little choice, so accepted. As soon as I got into his car and he started to drive he told me all about his wife and family who'd be waiting for him at home and how they all went to church on Sundays. I figured he was trying to reassure me and sure enough, he proved to be a wonderful person who potentially saved me from a bad fate at the hands of someone who didn't mean well. I was delivered to the garage which picked up the car (it had to be scrapped) and they called for a taxi to take me home.

So I guess it partly depends on the circumstances. But no way would I put myself into such circumstances again, in these times.

Jan24680 · 07/12/2025 17:50

I grew up in the arse end of nowhere. There were no buses, my parents would offer a lift to anyone they knew didn't own a car. It was common enough. I am sure some of the locals would offer anyone who they didn't think was on a walk a lift. Then again they left front doors unlocked and keys in the ignition of tractors.

Pedallleur · 07/12/2025 17:50

Angelic999 · 07/12/2025 17:21

No I was very vague and just said no thank you and didn't offer any information.

The number of women on this thread who say they would accept a lift is scary as clearly if predatory men ask enough women, eventually they will get one who will accept.

I think most perverts men probably use dating apps or sex workers to get their 'needs' met rather than resorting to luring someone from the roadside, but still you just never know. The chances are incredibly slim he was after anything nefarious, but there are opportunists out there.

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I always think there is a moment where their murderous thoughts tip into reality and you don't want to be the one in that moment where the games/apps/chat aren't enough.

HughGrantsfurrysquirrel · 07/12/2025 17:50

Waitingfordoggo · 06/12/2025 16:09

Of course not.

How can you possibly know if a stranger is ‘a nice man’? Sometimes a man you think you know well proves himself to be not ‘a nice man’ so you definitely can’t make that assessment of a stranger.

The idea of getting into a car with a strange man just makes me think of poor Sarah Everard and the horrendous final hours of her life.

Exactly what I was about to post.

Hopefully he was just being a good samaritan, but how can you ever truly know what a complete stranger's intentions are?

PuppyMonkey · 07/12/2025 17:53

The nice men I know have mentioned a few times how careful and aware they are around a woman walking alone, eg when my DP goes on a dog walk, he’d try to avoid getting in a situation like he was following a woman down the path, he’d cross over or go a different way just because he’d hate the thought the lone female would feel even momentarily alarmed. Your nice man sounds either a bit thick or possibly a weirdo. And he questioned you about where you were going? Sheesh!