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Original poster

Would you accept a lift from a nice man in the middle of nowhere?

354 replies

Angelic999 · 06/12/2025 16:06

Out on a remote countryside walk alone as a woman, it starts raining. A man stops in his car to offer a lift. Would you say yes?

This happened to me recently. I said no thank you. He then proceeded to question me about where I was going. He seemed nice enough but I wasn't willing to take the risk to get in a car with a complete stranger (Ian Brady anyone?!)

Part of my female conditioning has been to then feel guilty that I have offended him! But then surely he should have more awareness. Although maybe it's just friendly country folk being genuine!

OP posts:
HoneyParsnipSoup · 06/12/2025 22:05

100% no. Makes me think of Ted Bundy.

Summergarden · 06/12/2025 22:13

Echobelly · 06/12/2025 17:24

Depends on situation... I think not just because of rain maybe. If I had really good reason to need a lift I might but before getting in I think I'd say 'That would be great, I'd like to send my husband a message with your car number plate - nothing personal but you understand I have to be careful' . And if he doesn't like that, then he's clearly a wrong'un.

That’s a really good idea.

Sunshineandgrapefruit · 06/12/2025 23:11

No 'nice' man would ask. Doggy as fuck.

HRTQueen · 06/12/2025 23:26

MrsTerryPratchett · 06/12/2025 16:08

Fuck no. And any man that offered and didn’t understand why you said no is either delusional or stupid (or a predator).

BTW I have been places where I would accept. But in the UK, hard no.

What is this country where it is safe for woman to get into a car with a male stranger

or are you talking about being in the past when you were maybe naive

back to op not a chance. As for bad vibes etc I would absolutely not rely on gut feelings about someone being nice

Wheelz46 · 06/12/2025 23:42

No and I also wouldn't accept a lift from a stranger who happened to be female either.

MrsTerryPratchett · 07/12/2025 00:15

HRTQueen · 06/12/2025 23:26

What is this country where it is safe for woman to get into a car with a male stranger

or are you talking about being in the past when you were maybe naive

back to op not a chance. As for bad vibes etc I would absolutely not rely on gut feelings about someone being nice

Show quote history

Safe? Never. Safer, possibly. I'm thinking about places with a strong 'helping' tradition and rural hitchhiking culture. Mongolia, Iceland? Those sorts of places.

GarlicRound · 07/12/2025 00:21

Actually, I did a few years ago. Similar circumstances. I was absolutely soaked and miserable, with several miles still to go. It was two chaps, much younger than me, and - crucially - they were very non-invasive.

I think the questioning why not was a massive red flag, OP. He may well have just been a mildly overbearing character but, in those circumstances, this could suggest all kinds of danger (or, at best, irritation). Glad you said no.

OttersMayHaveShifted · 07/12/2025 00:33

ImThePr0blem · 06/12/2025 16:10

I would but then I’m able to defend myself if he tried anything.
EVERY woman should do a police self defence course and strength training.

If I was a weak woman with no idea how to subdue a potential attacker then yeah, I’d run a mile instead of getting into the car.

But the first and most obvious way to defend yourself in this situation would be to not get into the car in the first place. Putting yourself in a situation where you might need to physically defend yourself, just to avoid a bit of walking in the rain, is a stupid idea, however good at self defence you are.

ChubbyFecker · 07/12/2025 01:42

Absolutely not. Stranger Danger and all that

WilfredsPies · 07/12/2025 04:18

ImThePr0blem · 06/12/2025 16:10

I would but then I’m able to defend myself if he tried anything.
EVERY woman should do a police self defence course and strength training.

If I was a weak woman with no idea how to subdue a potential attacker then yeah, I’d run a mile instead of getting into the car.

If you’ve been placing yourself in dangerous situations because you believe that you could fight off a man intent on harming you, then it’s more by luck than judgement that nothing has happened since you’ve done your course. I pray that it never does and that you carry on in blissful ignorance.

WilfredsPies · 07/12/2025 04:27

Part of my female conditioning has been to then feel guilty that I have offended him! But then surely he should have more awareness. Although maybe it's just friendly country folk being genuine!

I think it’s probably the menopause and not caring about men’s feelings anymore, but I’ve got to the stage where I’d feel perfectly justified in asking him what on earth he thought he was doing, kerb crawling alongside a lone female, asking about her destination, and was he trying to make you call 999, because you were about to do just that. Maybe he might have been trying to be friendly, but I’m pretty sure he’d have something to say to any man doing the same thing to his wife or daughter.

Farticus101 · 07/12/2025 04:49

ImThePr0blem · 06/12/2025 16:10

I would but then I’m able to defend myself if he tried anything.
EVERY woman should do a police self defence course and strength training.

If I was a weak woman with no idea how to subdue a potential attacker then yeah, I’d run a mile instead of getting into the car.

The first thing I learnt in self defence course is don't put yourself in dangerous situations because sometimes there is absolutely nothing you can do to protect yourself.

If you are trapped in a car and someone pulls a knife on you, strength training is useless.

Farticus101 · 07/12/2025 05:00

dimple285 · 06/12/2025 17:42

Yes I have a few times and quite a number of times with couples, both here including late at night and during the day abroad. The first time with a man alone it was bucketing with rain, I was about 9, walking along a main road and in a Brownie uniform. Thankfully most people are decent, serial killers are 1 in a million.

Serial killers might be 1 in a million, but rapists and other sex offenders are everywhere! Look at the statistics.

Genuinely stunned by how many people would accept a lift from a stranger.

Wynter25 · 07/12/2025 05:19

Fuck no

Latenightreader · 07/12/2025 05:30

I did once and I was fine, but it was beyond a doubt one of the most stupid and dangerous things I have ever done. Would never, ever do it again.

Wonderlandpeony · 07/12/2025 06:28

Absolutely not, unless your life was in danger for some reason, eg medical emergency, but even then I'd be wary.

FallingIsLearning · 07/12/2025 06:48

No, I definitely would not.

But one of my friends met his future wife when he offered her a lift in similar circumstances. Luckily he is a genuinely lovely person.

The problem is that you can’t tell the difference between those who are kind and those with ill intent at a glance.

caringcarer · 07/12/2025 07:04

No, he could be perfectly pleasant but he might be a potential rapist or even murderer.

unsync · 07/12/2025 07:12

A bit of rain isn't going to rape or kill you. Random bloke in car - always a possibility.

Ineffable23 · 07/12/2025 07:23

I think the most likely outcome in that situation is just that he thought you might like not to get wet. But I do agree that carrying on with the questions after you said no would give me pause.

I've had lifts from strangers and given lifts to strangers in multiple situations and it's always been fine. Obviously there's always a chance it won't be but I'm not going to spend my life wondering about maybes. I do give a moderate amount of consideration to risk and whether or not I accepted might come down to gut feeling.

Hitchhiked when there was no bus and I was expecting there to be one - once, fine.
Lift home from a stranger when me and my boyfriend had bike punctures and no one was at home - once, fine.
Lift home from the pub with all my mates saving a 2 mile walk - once, fine. Did involve me sitting on a shotgun and various folks in the back of a pickup with no seatbelts.
Someone random appearing to pick me up in a foreign port when the place I was meant to be going was apparently shut due to illness. That was the most nervous making tbh but turned out fine.
Gave a woman a lift when they were running for the bus in the pissing rain and the bus didn't bother stopping for them - once, fine.
Offered a man a lift when they were walking out in the middle of nowhere in the pissing rain, at least two miles from the nearest village. Again, fine. Yes they won't dissolve but they'll be a lot less miserable.
Gave another man a lift when they had broken down on a rural A-road at night with dogs. They were planning to walk up it with no torch, no fluorescent gear and no pavement and I did offered more than once after they refused because I really thought the likelihood of them or one of their dogs being killed in that scenario was quite substantial. Again, fine.

I expect there must be more that I don't remember. It's clearly not a super frequent occurrence but it's also definitely not a never occurrence either.

Radiator981 · 07/12/2025 07:38

No I would not now - but I do recall at Uni coming out of a club and puking on my own, these two guys approached me and asked me where I was going. I said my friend’s flat in the centre of town. They helped me into their car where I was very poorly - I turned my head to the side and puked again. It was a sports car - they were clearly very wealthy. Anyway they did exactly that - took me to my friends flat. Said they were really worried when they saw me and asked my friend to look after me. It could have been very dangerous and it was silly drunken decision I made. I do wonder if my drink was spiked in the club.

CosmicTea · 07/12/2025 08:03

I have taken lifts from unknown men in the past and I can't rule out that I wouldn't again in the future. I try and gauge how trustworthy they seem and follow my gut. I don't think many opportunities for this come up though, maybe once every 7-10 years. I have hitchhiked in the UK when I was desperate and accepted a lift from a man, but that was about 15 years ago now. Obviously I lived to tell the tale. I would judge everything at the time - how desperate am I, how trustworthy do they seem, can I raise the alarm if something goes wrong, etc etc.

Goldenbear · 07/12/2025 08:07

No, I wouldn't but did give a lift to a hitch hiking man when I was 18 but that was because I was with my boyfriend at the time and this guy seemed nice enough and approached at the petrol station saying that it was his stag do and his friends had dumped in the middle of nowhere. Anyway, it must have been a fake tale as he turned out to be aggressive and unhinged. When it came to dropping him off as far as we could he wouldn't accept it and told us to drive on. Needless to say, my boyfriend managed to get him to leave.

When I was about 7, we (older brother and Mum) were waiting at an unsheltered bus stop in the rain and some men pulled up and offered my Mum and us a lift, we were on a summer holiday in Devon so I think she thought it was probably ok but she would never have done that in London where we were from. I remember feeling incredibly awkward in the back sitting next to one of the men, they seemed quite twitchy but I was very young and was a bit shy around most adults I didn't know so it could have been that the apprehension was unjustified. My Mum did say to us afterwards that she should never have done that and she told us never to accept lifts from strangers. Probably female conditioning at work and my Mum is a very kind person so would probably not have wanted to offend.

Goldenbear · 07/12/2025 08:11

Latenightreader · 07/12/2025 05:30

I did once and I was fine, but it was beyond a doubt one of the most stupid and dangerous things I have ever done. Would never, ever do it again.

Yes, same here, giving the hitchhiker a lift when I was 18, even with my boyfriend was definitely one of the stupidist things I have ever done as this guy was clearly ready to do something if my boyfriend who was only 19 himself hadn't managed to calm this man down and get him out of the car.

Original poster
Angelic999 · 07/12/2025 08:25

CosmicTea · 07/12/2025 08:03

I have taken lifts from unknown men in the past and I can't rule out that I wouldn't again in the future. I try and gauge how trustworthy they seem and follow my gut. I don't think many opportunities for this come up though, maybe once every 7-10 years. I have hitchhiked in the UK when I was desperate and accepted a lift from a man, but that was about 15 years ago now. Obviously I lived to tell the tale. I would judge everything at the time - how desperate am I, how trustworthy do they seem, can I raise the alarm if something goes wrong, etc etc.

How can you gauge how trustworthy they seem in a split second though? Nothing about this man rang alarm bells, he was clean cut, friendly etc, but I still didn't want to get in his car.

Mind you if it was a torrential storm and getting dark I might have felt otherwise and also would have felt he was more justified in asking.

OP posts: