Would you accept a lift from a nice man in the middle of nowhere?

[Angelic999]

Out on a remote countryside walk alone as a woman, it starts raining. A man stops in his car to offer a lift. Would you say yes?

This happened to me recently. I said no thank you. He then proceeded to question me about where I was going. He seemed nice enough but I wasn't willing to take the risk to get in a car with a complete stranger (Ian Brady anyone?!)

Part of my female conditioning has been to then feel guilty that I have offended him! But then surely he should have more awareness. Although maybe it's just friendly country folk being genuine!

Oh stop!

Women have to protect themselves from potential danger, sadly, that's how it is in our lives.

You're either a man, or just a naïve idiot.

That's exactly who I thought of! 😭
However 'nice' he may seem, he could be the complete opposite.

Please girls don't EVER do this!

Your life is precious! 💐

He was probably just being kind, country people are certainly more likely to do this kind of thing.
Saying that I wouldn’t have got in the car either.

Yes immensely well commented original commenter 💚🤗💚

Hi op I read an article recently a security guard being nice to a 19 year old female who had lost her friends. The nice man offers her a lift drives to secluded area rapes her dumps her. She wasn’t even in a position to refuse his help being drunk he was a married man and dad to kids. Never never trust a random even if they look decent.

Um my best friend's sister was killed jumping from a moving car that she'd got into with a 'nice man'. She hit her head. That was the 1970s; my best friend was 11, sis was 16, strong and confident. Don't do it.

Hell no he was really creepy. Stopping to offer you a lift, that's fine. But you say no and he starts questioning you about where you are going? That's creepy.

It saddens me to see how men have become untrustworthy due to crimes committed by certain types of perverts we have in our world nowadays, It would fill me with dread if i thought my daughter or granddaughters were in that situation where they were approached by a man or men in a car.

I, and many of my female friends, often run and hike solo, often over a period of several days, bivvying outdoors in rural areas. I wouldn’t want to go with someone else - the solitude is what I love. If it’s not something that you feel comfortable doing, that’s fine but put it in those terms then. Don’t try to make the OP feel somehow reckless or crazy for being comfortable doing so. I meet many solo female hikers while out on remote trails, so it’s not as crazy a choice as you clearly think it is.

Women walking alone in remote areas isn’t safe , you can like it or lump it , but it’s true !

It’s risky , women alone in remote areas
You can say what you like ,
It’s the truth .

NO!

Absolutely not!

@ImThePr0blem overconfident in your own abilities in a confined space. Why would you put yourself in the position that you have to defend yourself? I have also done self defence courses but I'm no match to a bloke inside a car.

Absolutely no way.

Opportunists are the most kind and charming people you will ever wish to meet until they turn on you.

Ask yourself @Angelic999 do you know of any man in your life that would stop his car and ask a lone female if she wanted a lift, because I certainly don’t.

If you don't have an excuse for being being sexist in a situation like this, you have a problem

When I was young and pretty, no way.
Now…. I dunno. I’m podgy and haggard looking and not really the type I imagine an opportunistic serial killer would go for, but then perhaps that is naive 🤷‍♀️

Not a chance in hell.
No I do not want to end up in a ditch or hidden in a basement.
I once got in someones car I had met in a bar. It was a very nice sports car, he seemed nice and was going to drop me home, not far.
He locked the doors and sped off with me down the wrong way. I had to think fast. I grabbed the steering wheel and locked it in my elbow forcing him to pull over. He pulled out a huge wad of cash and told me he would pay me to come back to his house.
I unlocked the door with my left hand, kicked the door open with my foot. Grabbed the cash. Let go of the steering wheel and jumped out while throwing the cash back at him and all over the road. Then ran off. He tried following me after picking up his cash but I ran and jumped on a bus.
This was 20 years ago.
Never again would I get into a strangers car or even go near it.

@Angelic999
Oh god.. definitely do not get in the car with anyone you don't know like that.
I had an incident years ago with a neighbour.
I was about 20/21, not long had my DS. I was very young looking and hadn't lived in the village very long and the old guy lived on my street. I used to walk a couple of miles to my mum's house with the baby in the pram and this old guy would stop sometimes and offer me a lift.
One day he went past and I said :no thanks' and he said ' no need to worry...my wife and I live at the other end of the street to you'. I declined anyway and carried on. Later on I was walking home and he drove past again and stopped.
This time it was raining so I stupidly accepted. He got out and put my pram in the boot so I got in the front with my DS sat on my lap.
He just kept going on and on about how beautiful I was and how I could be a model and did I know he was a photographer.
I felt extremely uncomfortable. I tried to just laugh it off but he kept on and on. Instead of dropping me home he pulled up in a layby around the corner and said he wanted to show me something. He then pulled a photo album out of the boot and proceeded to show me porno photos of women on the beach ect and said things like' this is how I'd like to photograph you'.

I felt sick and was trying to turn my DS the other way so he wouldn't see the photos. I just kept saying 'oh no thanks I hate having my photo taken and I've not long had a baby so I don't look like that'. I didn't know what else to say or do. I was so scared.
He eventually put the album away and then dropped me home. I was shaking so much.

I told a few friends from the village about it and everyone knew not to get in a car with him as he was known for picking young girls up and trying to assault them. He had even sexually assaulted a school girl years before and the police didn't do anything as it was her word against his. He gave her a lift when she had her uniform on so it was obvious she was underage. Her dad and brother went and beat him up afterwards.
He still lives at the end of my street and everyone just knows to avoid him.
I strongly felt afterwards that if I hadn't of had my DS sat on my lap I would have been assaulted.
After that he tried to pick me up once more so I told him to 'fuck off you peado.'
Please don't ever put yourself in a stupid situation. My gut told me not to accept and I should have listened

Apologies, I worded that badly. I did mean to say alone in remote areas.
But no, I’m not joining any groups or restricting myself to the park, thanks. As has been pointed out, most violence against women is not committed during random rural encounters.

I know the essence of your post is about staying safe, but it plays directly into the victim blamer’s hands to say women shouldn’t hike alone; it implies they’re asking for it, they’re to blame for behaving recklessly, what do they expect…

Fuck. That.

Nope! Absolutely not!

Psychopaths are always very nice...until they're not!

What's sad is that I know my DH would feel as though he could accept the lift without thinking twice.

I’m 6 foot, heavily built and strong. I wrestle with my 19yo ds. (As in playfight, not actual wrestling).

No way would I get in the car with a random man. Statistically, more than 95% of men would be able to overpower me.

I had some building work done recently. Builder was a lot shorter and lighter than me. I helped him carry some stuff and I was astonished how strong he was. Incredibly so.

I witnessed a fight in a McD carpark, classy as I am. 2 guys, one giving the other a massive load of verbal. Presumably felt safe doing it as the guy on the receiving end of the verbal was scrawny and not especially tall. He warned the bigger guy to stop, he didn’t, so bigger guy got the shit kicked out of him. Nevertheless - both men were shorter than me and could have beaten me to a pulp. It was a horrible fight and I was scared.

No

No way. When I was 19 and a student I was locked out of my house after a night out. I'd gone out with house mates but they were all.copping off and I got fed up and caught the bus home around 1am. I realised I didn't have a key and waited for every night bus and they weren't on. It was November and freezing cold. I waited on the doorstep for 2 hours and kept going back to the bus stop and a man started speaking to me. I explained my situation and he offered me his spare room to sleep in. U said as long as you promise not to try anything on. Went to sleep fully clothed and woke up with him standing above me and both his hands either side of my head trying to kiss me. I screamed and he left me alone. I then quietly got to the front door but it was locked. He appeared and got angry with me saying how he'd been kind to me and I was trying to go without thanking him. I remember saying just open the fing door. My arm was in plaster as I'd broken it and his door was made of glass. I was about to smash it in and he opened the door. I walked out and never looked back. I'm 53 now but still think what a lucky escape I had .

If I wanted to end up as the subject of my own Netflix documentary I might…