Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Original poster

Would you accept a lift from a nice man in the middle of nowhere?

354 replies

Angelic999 · 06/12/2025 16:06

Out on a remote countryside walk alone as a woman, it starts raining. A man stops in his car to offer a lift. Would you say yes?

This happened to me recently. I said no thank you. He then proceeded to question me about where I was going. He seemed nice enough but I wasn't willing to take the risk to get in a car with a complete stranger (Ian Brady anyone?!)

Part of my female conditioning has been to then feel guilty that I have offended him! But then surely he should have more awareness. Although maybe it's just friendly country folk being genuine!

OP posts:
DeedsNotDiddums · 07/12/2025 17:53

Not a chance in hell. Not if I were soaked to the bone and on the brink of pneumonia

JungAtHeart · 07/12/2025 17:55

No! I grew up in a place where it was completely normal to thumb a lift - public transport was completely non existent. I once accepted a lift from a solo man and he was beyond creepy! Just saying things specifically designed to frighten me. He dropped me off where I wanted to go and that was the very last time I ever stuck my thumb out …

ForNoisyCat · 07/12/2025 17:57

Angelic999 · 06/12/2025 16:06

Out on a remote countryside walk alone as a woman, it starts raining. A man stops in his car to offer a lift. Would you say yes?

This happened to me recently. I said no thank you. He then proceeded to question me about where I was going. He seemed nice enough but I wasn't willing to take the risk to get in a car with a complete stranger (Ian Brady anyone?!)

Part of my female conditioning has been to then feel guilty that I have offended him! But then surely he should have more awareness. Although maybe it's just friendly country folk being genuine!

Who cares about hurting his feelings? Has he thought about your feelings and the dilemma he has put you in? He may be perfect and harmless or it may be he’s a monster and you were presented with a pleasant side of the monster. Thankfully you declined so you’ll never know.

when I was a child and walking back from church one day in pouring rain a couple in a car pulled over snd offered me a lift. I declined and then what rang alarm bells was they kept saying they’d seen me in church (so what), and kept offering. Their persistence was worrying!

DeedsNotDiddums · 07/12/2025 17:59

I would not even get in if the man showed me his police badge. Remember Wayne Couzens?

Judecb · 07/12/2025 18:12

Would I get in a car with a stranger, in the middle of nowhere?? NO !!

Carpedimum · 07/12/2025 18:19

Absolutely not… BUT someone I know of, a farmer, was stranded far from the farmhouse after a tractor breakdown and no phone signal. She accepted a lift from a very nice man in a very posh car who stopped. She did initially say she wouldn’t get into his car because she was muddy but he insisted it was fine. She thought he was familiar, maybe the son of a friend? He said no, you don’t know me. Only later did it dawn on her that he is a very famous actor!

Pres11 · 07/12/2025 18:25

Absolutely not! Never! I would also not feel guilty about offending him, he shouldn’t ask!

Ctu24agent · 07/12/2025 18:27

Nooooo! First lesson in abduction is make as much noise as you can to PREVENT getting in a vehicle. Yes, you don’t know he wasn’t going to be genuine… but why would you willingly put yourself in a situation you weren’t 100% confident at being safe in?? Especially just for getting wet??

Trishyb10 · 07/12/2025 18:31

Definately no… although i did ten years ago, got the wrong bus,last stop was in middle of nowhere, 15 miles from where i should of been, walking down a desolate farm lane a guy stopped and said he lived on the farm and didnt recognise me or where i would be heading as nothing for miles… this was mid afternoon, nearest bus stop to wear i was heading 4 miles, and he took me there… so yes there are fantasic folk around but looking back that was a heck of a risk and i wouldnt do it again 🌹

Flowersforyourchocolateprettyplease · 07/12/2025 18:35

I accepted a lift off a trucker for an hour long journey. Had no mobile phone and no one knew where I was.
Just chatted all the way and he didn't accept payment.

Stupidly accepted another lift for a 4 hour journey with two men. Kind of accepted my fate the moment we were driving through the middle of nowhere.

Nothing happened both times but didn't ever do it again after the second encounter, especially as there was no chat the whole way, not even between them and gave me enough time to rethink my choices.

So No OP, never again.

deeahgwitch · 07/12/2025 18:44

Waitingfordoggo · 06/12/2025 16:10

@Angelic999The fact that this man didn’t immediately take no for an answer and asked questions about where you were going rather suggests he had the potential to not be a nice man at all.

I thought the same.

LaughingCat · 07/12/2025 18:46

Depends how hard it’s raining, how well I’ve dressed for the weather and how the man comes across. There’s times I’ve accepted the help and times I haven’t when out on solo 100mile+ trail runs. But I’m 6ft tall, 200lbs, well-muscled and decently trained in self defence - I’m not representative of the average female in the UK and I am therefore more likely to feel safer in that situation as long as my hinky sensor isn’t going off.

deeahgwitch · 07/12/2025 18:46

Carpedimum · 07/12/2025 18:19

Absolutely not… BUT someone I know of, a farmer, was stranded far from the farmhouse after a tractor breakdown and no phone signal. She accepted a lift from a very nice man in a very posh car who stopped. She did initially say she wouldn’t get into his car because she was muddy but he insisted it was fine. She thought he was familiar, maybe the son of a friend? He said no, you don’t know me. Only later did it dawn on her that he is a very famous actor!

Who was the kind, very famous actor @Carpedimum

Rednotdead · 07/12/2025 18:47

That’s a no from me

HevenlyMeS · 07/12/2025 18:47

It seems really weird that he proceeded to ask you questions about where you were going, evening following you politely refusing his lift
I'd find this part the most unsettling
Also I completely comprehend you keeping an open mind re maybe just the way of country folks being friendly
When we were on holiday in Ireland numerous years ago, yes in the country, they're all so friendly, welcoming & warmhearted, but you sense the sincerity of their nice noble nature out there 💚🙏💚

Sassylovesbooks · 07/12/2025 18:49

Not a chance in hell would I get into a car with a complete stranger. I'm sure the man had no nefarious intentions, but you don't know that. I would also question his awareness, because to me, a grown adult male, should have realised that no lone woman is going to willingly get into his car because he's unknown to her.

Blablibladirladada · 07/12/2025 19:10

No. Absolutely no.

Bowies · 07/12/2025 19:13

I wouldn’t have in that circumstance, no.

Missj25 · 07/12/2025 19:15

Angelic999 · 06/12/2025 16:06

Out on a remote countryside walk alone as a woman, it starts raining. A man stops in his car to offer a lift. Would you say yes?

This happened to me recently. I said no thank you. He then proceeded to question me about where I was going. He seemed nice enough but I wasn't willing to take the risk to get in a car with a complete stranger (Ian Brady anyone?!)

Part of my female conditioning has been to then feel guilty that I have offended him! But then surely he should have more awareness. Although maybe it's just friendly country folk being genuine!

Why were you walking alone anyway in a remote area in the Country side ?
Seriously !
I know we should be able to walk where we like , but sadly we can’t & that’s just the way it is .
Friend with us , yeah fine , other than that no , & to answer your question , i would never sit into a car with a stranger..

covilha · 07/12/2025 19:16

Well, two things from me. Firstly, as my mother said to me one time when the very nice lady would’ve been offering me sweet became offended when I declined,’ if she was that nice then she wouldn’t have responded like that.’ Fair.
Next thing, yes, not so unusual to be offered lift by random strangers in rural Yorkshire. That being said, I have never accepted one.

YogaLite · 07/12/2025 19:22

How times have changed ☹️
Eons ago and in a different country I hitchhiked a lot as a young teenager and also as a student, came to no harm. But I wouldn't now.

YogaLite · 07/12/2025 19:25

Missj25 · 07/12/2025 19:15

Why were you walking alone anyway in a remote area in the Country side ?
Seriously !
I know we should be able to walk where we like , but sadly we can’t & that’s just the way it is .
Friend with us , yeah fine , other than that no , & to answer your question , i would never sit into a car with a stranger..

Show quote history

I recently walked alone on a fairly rural national trail, was actually off it by late pm and heading towards a station about 5 miles away. I was offered a lift twice by women, I declined the first one but accepted the second one (and gave some change as thank you). There are still kind people around away from big cities.

bellocchild · 07/12/2025 19:44

Well, I did as a teenager because I'd missed the bus home from the stables, and the next one was an hour's wait, and he was genuinely nice and kind - but never, ever nowadays!

DrCoconut · 07/12/2025 19:54

Waitingfordoggo · 06/12/2025 16:17

You’ve heard of Ted Bundy, right?

He seemed nice. Innocent. Well-educated. Charming even. The reality was very different.

Show quote history

You beat me to it. Ted was by all accounts a "nice" man. Until he got his victims alone.

FlyingCatGirl · 07/12/2025 19:57

Christopher Helliwell, the Ipswich murderer, Fred West - another 3 reasons not to get in a car with a man you don't know.

Swipe left for the next trending thread