So EMBARRASSED I'll have to change my name and not just on Mumsnet.

[Imfat]

Last week I was in hospital with pneumonia and pleurisy, came out on Thursday morning.
As it's a lovely day here, DH and I went for a short walk.
On the way back I somehow tripped and knocked myself out.
Came around in an ambulance on the way to hospital. DH went home to get the car to follow me.
The embarrassing part was I'd dirtied myself both ways.
Got to hospital and I was taken into a side cubicle so they could clean me up, the health care assistant was
only our DDS friend. I was crying and she was so kind and trying to calm me down.
Still don't know how I tripped but have also broken my arm, bashed my nose and scraped my face.
Still in hospital awaiting a scan on my head.

Please cheer me up with your embarrassing stories.

I had A Fall a few years back. I was seeing stars and had landed on all fours so it wasn't immediately obvious if any or all of my limbs had fractures. Someone called an ambulance to take me to A&E and as I arrived there another woman was being taken out of another ambulance wearing the exact same dress as me. Peak sartorial embarrassment.

I was in a bad car accident years ago and unconscious for 3 days and in traction. When I woke up, I found out that the nurse/hca who'd been giving me a bed bath and tending to my other hygiene needs was someone I'd been to secondary school with about 4 years previously. I was really mortified😱

I know this sounds incredible, but I am in a similar job, and bodily fluids do genuinely become routine. At this point I can assist someone after diarrhoea, and then have my lunch without it affecting my appetite in any way.

You were taken ill and passed out, and vomiting and incontinence is a symptom of you being seriously ill and needing urgent medical assessment. If she felt anything other than deep concern for your health, she'd be in the wrong job and I'd advise you to go and throw up on her shoes.

Update again.
They are going to send me for a x-ray or scan on my chest. Night nurse didn't like the sound of my breathing during the night got the doctor who listened to my chest she thinks my lungs have fluid in.
Other update
DH can't find Elon Musks contact number but has found a Mrs Santa clause outfit with optional beard.
He hopes by Christmas it will all be forgotten.

Sorry forgot to thank everyone for their stories. I don't feel as alone in the embarrassed party.

You poor thing! You've done a proper number on yourself, haven't you?! I'm sure DD's friend has seen it all before, and after all, it's just a bit of pee and poop isn't it? We all do it, and there won't be many of us who haven't any mortifying stories involving either or both, I reckon!

Here's mine.

After having DD2, I was transferred to the recovery maternity hospital, all good. DH went home to see DD1 and have a bit of a rest. It appears that since we'd arrived, aliens had beamed the entire nursing team up, because I couldn't find one for love nor money. In desperation, I went to hoof it to the loo, having finally got DD2 settled. Unfortunately my nether regions decided at this point to register their protest at the night's doings, and I shat myself all the way up the corridor to what seemed a very far away toilet.

The poor nurse who I finally managed to track down, having to face that! I did offer to clear up, but she wasn't having any. . .

This is very funny, I can just picture it!