So EMBARRASSED I'll have to change my name and not just on Mumsnet.

[Imfat]

Last week I was in hospital with pneumonia and pleurisy, came out on Thursday morning.
As it's a lovely day here, DH and I went for a short walk.
On the way back I somehow tripped and knocked myself out.
Came around in an ambulance on the way to hospital. DH went home to get the car to follow me.
The embarrassing part was I'd dirtied myself both ways.
Got to hospital and I was taken into a side cubicle so they could clean me up, the health care assistant was
only our DDS friend. I was crying and she was so kind and trying to calm me down.
Still don't know how I tripped but have also broken my arm, bashed my nose and scraped my face.
Still in hospital awaiting a scan on my head.

Please cheer me up with your embarrassing stories.

I'm finally on a ward. Face is a mess and my arm is aching.
My embarrassing story before this was when I had an emergency d&c operation the anaesthetist was a
friend of my brothers who had been in our house 2 days before.
That was over 40 years ago. This puts that in the shade of embarrassing stories.

Thanks everyone for sharing i don't feel so alone.

Good dollop of Vicks under/sort of inside each nostril. Before I had occasion to do this (sad story I won't repeat) I'd seen it on various crime dramas. It does work.

My most embarrassing moment was being scraped off the cobbles outside the Rum Runner nightclub in Birmingham after I fainted one very cold NYE by 2 members of Duran Duran, who were the house band and did various other jobs around the place.

Hope you feel much better soon OP.

My embarrassing story happened in an office. My colleague was a local dignitary who occasionally did over the telephone live radio interviews. He was half way through an interview and I got up from my desk, didn't realise my handbag strap was caught around my ankle, fell head first and dislocated my shoulder. The pain was awful and I made a helluva racket. He cut the interview short but not before most of my home town had heard me screaming and swearing like a navvy.

You're doing well op on the meeting doctors front. I've had two of the most attractive anesthetists this year. One tall blue eyed German yesterday and a terribly posh double barrelled Oxford chappie earlier in the year. He saw me without my undercrackers and I didn't care.

I used to work in quite a large company and there was lots of relationships between staff. I was dating a young man, nothing serious, who became smitten with another colleague. They got together, good for them. I saw them around and said hello, if we ever needed to chat professionally I did and one occasion we bumped into each other at costa and I complimented her very nice scarf. That was it.

So a few months after the Costa non event pass and Im due a smear, so whilst the nurse is trying to give my cervix a good scrape she asks where I work, I tell her. She tells me her daughter started there last year and met a lovely man, but apparently it was awkward because they’re working with his ex who had made life difficult for them/was completely devastated by the break up. Lots of hook ups etc in this place, so I nodded sympathetically as she was chatting about it, but whilst Im lying down I looked at the nurses badge and recognised her (quite unusual) surname. Yep, Im having my smear done by the mother of a colleague who is painting me for absolutely no reason as some crazy ex jealous bitch. I was pleasant to them both, I couldn’t have cared less. Truth be told he had a tattoo that gave me the ick and we’d had a few dates, we weren’t planning a wedding or anything. I didn’t really know what to say because in between this she was telling me I had a tilted womb and she needed to find a longer instrument to get to my cervix. So I have some bizarre plastic thing inside me, legs akimbo whilst the nurse is searching for the longer cervix cottonbud, (no idea the technical term) and she’s telling me how sad her daughter gets because of her new boyfriends psycho ex. So being incredibly vulnerable in my legs open position and being British, i just go along with it. Say her poor DD, say his ex sounds jealous etc and say how lovely her DD sounds. Anyway the smear is finally done and just as she removes the medical equipment inside me, just to really make this terrific interaction even more memorable I have a massive fanny fart.

Also @Imfat I have worked as a HCA (funnily enough it was my previous job before the one I mention here) and there is nothing we haven’t seen. Please don’t be embarrassed by that. (At least you weren’t complicit with bitching about yourself!) Get well soon x

Omg! So sorry to hear this. I hope you heal soon.

💐💐💐

Embarrassing story: as a 30-ish adult returning uni student I had a rather interesting psychology professor- long curly hair, jeans, cool personality.

I used to kill time in a pub, smoking and drinking Coke, between classes. One day he came in and took a seat about 20 feet away, waving to me.

I racked my brain for a scintillating conversation starter. Something from the assigned reading material popped into mind and I called out “I’ve been thinking about our last assignment; can you remind me again, what is ‘onanism’?”

There was a significant pause and then he called back “Masturbation!”

Everyone turned to look at me. I nodded & tried to casually light a cigarette but dropped the lighter and had to crawl around for it. Started sitting in the furthest back row of the lecture hall after that.

Oh the only person that remebers these things after the actual incident is you, everyone else forgets quickly, you will be reliving it in your head is all, I was pumping breastmilk at work and using the first aid room when a major injury happened to someone on site, I had both boob's out on the pump and 5 colleagues all rush in carrying the person and their stuff... I'm rushing to get the pump off and manage to have both boob's flapping about as I try to pack everything away, including my dignity 😂
Also once fainted in the morning meeting and switched off the light on the way down with my bum 😂 *this one is remembered by all though as my incident means we are now able to sit for the morning meeting which everyone appreciates 😀 😂

Oh ive sooooo many but the stand out is i once went to a funeral and as im not good with people I had a LOT to drink. Some time very later we had decided to go have more drinks in a few places the family went to. I was desperate for a wee, there was a huge queue so off i went to the mens where I proceeded to fall asleep on toilet then fall off smacking my face on the floor tile and breaking a front tooth. My then partner had to come into the mens toilets scoop me up whilst pulling up my pants to cover the 1960's tea towel holder id been proudly displaying to all who entered the gents WC .

Hahaha that’s hilarious! 🤣🤣 Currently bored waiting in A&E and sniggering at that so thank you. Your DS is very naughty!

This is the best story ever!!!

Well… I had to have a procedure done and not everything went to plan and ended up needing a catheter. I was sent home and scheduled a review the next day in A and E.

Lo and behold, the healthcare assistant was tasked to remove it and she was a mum I vaguely knew from DD’s nursery. I was mortified but she wasn’t fazed by it. Now when I see her we often joke we are very close friends. She has a fantastic sense of humour and probably has seen worse.

When i my DC i had a very quick delivery with a post partum haemorrhage and a very nasty tear . The midwife said " Dr Smith " was coming to suture . A bit worried in was in a bit of a mess i was reassurred he had seen it all before . To my horror, he had seen it all before . I had dated him for a few months when i was a first year student nurse and he was a Junior Dr ! .

I'm sorry, OP.

It doesn't actually sound like you 'tripped' though, as you'd have likely tried to put your hands out or stop your fall. Sounds like you may have passed out?

It's not unusual for someone to lose continence when they lose consciousness. The hospital staff would've seen it all before, many times. Try not to be embarrassed.

I didn't fall in this story - quite an achievement for me!! I was in my 30's, had broken up with a long-term partner and my parents asked me if I'd like to go to Tenerife with them. Off to Tenerife we went - I'd lost weight, feeling better in myself, so dressed up for dinner. Parents knocked on my hotel room door, and we make our way to dinner - I walk through the lobby and into the dining room - people were staring, but I didn't think much of it, until my Mum yells 'Sassy, your dress is stuck in your knickers love'!! On display were my lovely hot pink lace knickers, with my dress tucked neatly inside them at the back!!!!! I died!! Literally that's what 5 year olds do, not 30something olds!!!

Oh op, you've certainly been through the wars. I'm certain the HCA won't think anything of it, they see it all.

My embarrassing moment - When I was a very self conscious teen I went to our school's end of term village hall disco. I borrowed my dad's auntie's mock croc stiletto heels (which were a size too large but thought they looked the dog's bollocks).

Out on the packed dance floor I was bopping along to Was Not Was 'Walk the Dinosaur' (totally showing my age here) when the heel of one of the stiletto's snapped right off. One leg went one way and the other the complete opposite, on my way down I somehow took the class hunk with me, my skirt went flying in the air, we both went crashing on to the dance floor and I ended up sitting right on his face. I'm 52 and still cringe when I think of it.

Not mine, but my when my cousin's husband went for his vasectomy, the nurse was a girl he'd taught (high school) a few years earlier....

@Imfat came out of a shop and without looking, reached behind me for the door handle. I’m quite short and the door handle I grabbed very hard was the crotch of the man who followed me out of the shop! Took a few seconds to compute what it was before I let go and scuttled off without apologising I was so mortified.

Back in the 80s we were at a party. I was wearing a boob tube (!) with nothing underneath it (I wasn't as blessed back then as l am now).
When the DJ played a particular song (Donna Summer's Hot Stuff) l always used to dance to it with one particular male friend.
While we were dancing, I had my hands on his waist and he had his hands on my shoulders. Unfortunately during the dance my boob tube slid down to my waist.
My dance partner was so busy concentrating on what he was doing with his feet he didn't notice. He was the only person in the room who didn't, until the DJ (who happened to be his brother) announced it over the microphone.
My friends found it highly amusing. I didn't.
My dance partner's wife (also one of my friends) wasn't offended and found it hysterical, thank goodness.

First year of university, communal bathroom and rooms with Yale locks. Yep, went for a shower and locked myself out. Nobody else on my staircase home, I had to walk across the most iconic bridge in Oxford dressed in only a very small towel to fetch the spare key from the porters. The only thing that makes me feel marginally better is that someone else in my year did the same minus the towel. The bath mat didn’t cover much.

My most embrassing moment was when I stopped breast feeding my youngest son many years ago, midwife said if breasts felt hard or sore to make an appointment straightaway as it could be an issue, well they became very hard and very sore so went to see the Dr, who pressed on my boob, a perfect arc of breath milk went over his shoulder. I went bright red and was mortified, went home and told my hubby who thought it was funny.
A few days later hubby came home and shouted put the kettle on, I've got an old friend with me, not seen them in years, walked in to say hello and yes it was the Dr, cue me going bright red and the Dr saying we've already met! Even now 20 odds years later I go red when I see him
,

Oh, where's the 'laughter' emoji when you need it....

Our county has quite a small hospital. It's absolutely guaranteed that no matter what ward or clinic you're in you will know at least one member of staff rather well. I think half this towns seen my boobs and vag at this point... And no doubt some of the dcs friends will grow up to be nurses etc so I shall expect it to carry on. I've given up on being embarrassed, brazen it out!

So you wouldn't feel embarrassed if you'd soiled yourself and other people had to clean it up? Surely we can all empathise with the embarrassment expressed by the OP.

Oh bless you op! I hope you are ok! Take all the painkillers you can it will help!

My embarrassing story is i tripped up standing still in a meeting with most of my department including bosses and broke my foot. Anyone who wasnt there soon heard about it 😂🤦🏼‍♀️ im infamous and anyone who trips or stumbles is told to "not do an Not Adulting" at least ill never be forgotten!